i hit my boyfriend. His history is killing me, Us.

[celesten10]

This is a 6 year relationship on/off, for many different reasons and locations. We keep coming back to each other, he says it's true love, i'm not sure what it is, but i can't seem to get out of it. i love him. i don't know how or why, it is destroying everything within me, the jealousy i have for him, i didn't experience it with any others. IT's the number of girls he's slept with during our "breaks", the one thing i cannot handle.

 

The last break lasted 6 months probably (feb-aug), yet we were still keeping contact. He took a month trip to thailand where he just partied his ways around, and then here in our small little summer town.

Today i just found out, during this so-called break, this past summer, He slept with one of the chicks i was socializing with on saturday. Here i am, getting a ride from the girl who had a one night stand with my boyfriend and i had absolutely no clue. She knows we're back together too. I sensed a strange vibe between them. intuition.

 

I began to interrogate about his summer flings and he confessed about "her". According to him: it happend only once, at the beach. "he was drunk and did nothing wrong", "we weren't together". He's begging for another chance, called all day, emailed saying he is a changed person now, matured, and has shown it the last couple of months being with me (which is true) - We've been spending time together every single day for the past 2 months, trying to build a healthy relationship, it was going so great.

Even though he gave me a certain "honesty" after pressuring for the truth. I still could not bear this new information, i was paralyzed for 10 seconds, my hands were shaking.

 

During our break, i was stupid enough to just sleep with 2 people. certainly not at the same time.

I just can't give in as fast as he can and don't understand how people can. (9 individuals in a matter of 7 months?)

 

We were in my car, i was driving. My jaw dropped. I flipped out, i took my jacket off, and began punching him in the arm, once twice , three times. i wanted to hurt him, but it wasn't the same. i was in such a pungent pain, it was unbearable.

 

I am now so utterly embarrassed to even show my face around town, thinking people already knew this and i was the last to find out. I mean, yes, we were on a break. Yet, I feel i need to catch up somehow, or end it for good, just to mend my heart. But how? i am extremely depressed, i am hurting him, i am hurting myself. i feel this is the end of my true love. help.

[JackJack]

He slept with others while you all were broken up. Big deal. You admitted sleeping with others while broke up as well. I don't see where he is mad at you but yet you are mad at him. That is calling the kettle black.

 

You're unstable in your emotions with thie whole thing causing you to lash out and hit him. You're having a hard time accepting what went on while you all were apart, and hitting someone is not an excuse or a proper way to deal with things. I suggest not dating anyone right now, and getting your head straight and maybe some anger management classes as well before pursuing another relationship.

[Ripples]

In addition to what JackJ has said, you've also guaranteed that he'll think twice about telling you the truth ever again.

[sb129]

Also in addition to what Jack and Ripples said

Doomed. I think its doomed.......

 

Why don't you just draw a line under it and call it a day.

if you guys get back together this "we were on a break therefore it was OK to sleep with other people" issue will come up time and time again, because I don't think you are the type of woman who will just let it go, as much as you may want to.

[polywog]

I think that you need to work on yourself, and process all these extreme negative feelings. My guess is that you are loving the best way you know how at this time in your life, but it's not the kind of love that can grow and flourish. This is not a criticism, it's an observation.

 

I think that you should get yourself into some kind of counselling asap. This is a great opportunity for you to grow, with all these raw emotions and turmoil swirling around you. I've done tremendous amounts of work on myself during similar times in my life, and you'll transform into someone that can have a real loving positive relationship with a partner. That part of you is within yourself, and you need to find a way to heal and nurture it. Therapy is the tool to get you there.

 

Please take my suggestion seriously, you deserve to be happy, as we all do, and this is a chance for you to take those steps. Keep posting, dear.

[lorr]

Goodness grief you really are emotionally unstable. At the end of the day the both of you weren't even going out. What did you expect him to do?- Sit around at home, burn incense, light candles, and pray whilst hoping that you would come back to him:rolleyes:

 

Pull yourself together. Whats done is done if you can't handle it, then move on.

[reservoirdog1]

I have to agree with the others. Evidently you both considered yourself to be free agents during the break from each other. Suppose he'd only slept with three women to your two men? Or four? Or five? Where's the magic cutoff?

 

Something tells me you'd be feeling the same way regardless of how many women he'd slept with during your break. I think you either need to let it go and never bring it up again, or if you honestly can't do that, end it with him once and for all.