What's Happening Here?

[Hey_LoverBoy]

Ok, to be brief... I am a nurse at a hospital and there is a doctor whom I work under that is kind of sending me signals that he's interested, and since I am a somewhat naive person - I don't always pick up on these signals and so I confuse myself and that's why I am asking for your help.

 

Ok, so I started working with him about 1 1/2 years ago. Didn't start out unusual, just like working with anyone else. Then it started to happen where he would always keep saying hello and walking by my desk area just to say hello to me. One day when I was to sign some papers for him, I asked him what parts needed my signature and he come over to me and stood on me like we were glued to the arms. His arm was pressed up against mine. In a normal situation, a person gives you your personal bubble space right??? Not him.

 

When he leaves, sometimes he'll put his hand on my arm or shoulder and say "thank you Ann". I've noticed that he looks me in the eyes when he talks, always has a smile on his face, his eyes always seem to smile as well with a twinkle in them. At times when he leaves, he'll stand there for just a moment and look at me with a smile on his face (for a few seconds) he's done that many many times. He'll just sand there and look at me smiling, then leaves. I also noticed the increase in his glances towards me.

 

Also, when I went to file some papers, I didn't know he was going to be in the Doctor's Lounge and he was, he was getting ready to go home and he saw me and talked to me walking backwards slowly and he made it a means to have a conversation with me. Then another time I physically saw him leave the building and about an hour later he came back and was sitting at my station and I said, "Geez, you're so quiet I didn't even know you were here"

 

He smiled and said "Yes, I'm pretty sneaky". I thought that was odd. I work with many other male doctors and NEVER has any of them acted like this one in particular. They are always straight to the point, never have meaningful conversations with me. They don't even look at me, that's why I question his motives.

 

He has told me that he really liked my hair one day when I had colored it. "Did you color your hair? I really really like it, it looks good on you." he said. He knows about some issues in my life which he'll bring up to ask how I am doing (not health issues, just issues with the pets or kids or my husband).

 

Ok, so I know that these aren't REAL obvious signs, however, it's not just everyday that your average male or female does these types of things to you. And also, it's just very very similar to what happend to me a little while back with another guy that ended up wanting to have an affair with me.

 

I ended that friendship the moment he asked me out for a drink. These are almost identical signals that the married man gave me and I just want to know if it sounds like the doctor is because I don't know if I should just brush it off like nothing and keep my career, or is my intuition correct and maybe be a little more stern because I don't want to lose my job.

 

I am not at all uncomfortable with what he's doing, he's actually a very good looking man. He's good looking but I am not attracted to him. He's 42 and I'm 26. But he looks like he's 34. He looks a lot like the Politician man on "Heroes".

 

I have absolutely no intentions of having an affair with this man, he knows I'm married and I know he's married, I just need to know if I should distance myself from him so that things don't turn akward.

 

Thanks for the help!!!

[Not_That_Innocent]

Hi - hopefully I can offer some insight, but this is JMO. Perhaps the doctor is just a friendly person. I say this because I too am very friendly and sometimes I think men take my friendliness the wrong way. For example, I'm a touchy feely person. When I shake hands with someone, I just might take my left hand and place it on top of the other person's hand as we're shaking. Sometimes, I will touch a person on the arm as I am talking to them. I look people in the eyes when I am talking. I smile a lot and I give my full attention. I like attention, so I tend to give people what I like to receive, especially men. I like to make others feel special, because I like to feel special. Therefore, I do these things in order to personally connect. I compliment people. Not in a fake way, but if I see that someone has done something new with their hair, is wearing a flattering article of clothing, has lost weight, etc., I will mention/or compliment them on it because it always makes me feel good when another person notices someting subtle about me. I'm willing to bet that the majority of men I come in contact with think I like them or want to be with them, when really it's not like that at all. Again, I like attention so I give it. Perhaps the doctor is truly interested in you. But then again, maybe he's just a nice, attention seeker like me. JMO.

[Hey_LoverBoy]

Hi - hopefully I can offer some insight, but this is JMO. Perhaps the doctor is just a friendly person. I say this because I too am very friendly and sometimes I think men take my friendliness the wrong way. For example, I'm a touchy feely person. When I shake hands with someone, I just might take my left hand and place it on top of the other person's hand as we're shaking. Sometimes, I will touch a person on the arm as I am talking to them. I look people in the eyes when I am talking. I smile a lot and I give my full attention. I like attention, so I tend to give people what I like to receive, especially men. I like to make others feel special, because I like to feel special. Therefore, I do these things in order to personally connect. I compliment people. Not in a fake way, but if I see that someone has done something new with their hair, is wearing a flattering article of clothing, has lost weight, etc., I will mention/or compliment them on it because it always makes me feel good when another person notices someting subtle about me. I'm willing to bet that the majority of men I come in contact with think I like them or want to be with them, when really it's not like that at all. Again, I like attention so I give it. Perhaps the doctor is truly interested in you. But then again, maybe he's just a nice, attention seeker like me. JMO.

 

Thanks for your insight. I too am an attention seeker but I usually always give everybody their personal bubble space. Especially in a hospital setting, some might take "touchy" feely the wrong way. I guess I just had to question his actions because this is almost exactly what happened to me with someone I almost had an affair with. I never took that to the next level.

 

Was tempted to and almost went out for that drink, but I thought about my family and his family and said "We have to stop what we're doing". So, I guess I just wanted to see about the Doc because I didn't want to look and sound nervous around him for no reason. I get nervous when a man pursues me because of the fact that I am married with children and I just don't know what kinds of reactions will come from myself and the pursuer. Thanks for reading and responding!