JackJack Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 I have a question and I'm sure people have different reasons why, but I was just wondering. I have heard before, love knows no age. But, my fiance' and I have a dear friend of ours who is in her early 40's, and for about the last 5-6 months has been dating a 20 year old guy. I must say, when they are around each other they seem quite smitten with each other. He also seems pretty mature for his age as well. Seems to treat her well, and even pitched in and helped paid some of her bills since he moved in with her. He is in the military. Well he popped the question about 2 weeks ago. So now they are engaged, and our friend told him yes. I'm not knocking whatever it is she wants to do, but I'm not sure what a 40 year old and 20 year old have in common. She does talk about their sex life and how good he is. She has 2 kids, one is 13 and one is 17. So she has one that is not far from her now fiance's age. I guess maybe its kind of the same for women as it is for men? If a man was in his 40's and dating a 20 year old, people would say he wanted someone younger for sex, maybe its the same or kind of thing for some women too? I guess it just seems, after the newness wears off, then where will they be? Like any relationship I guess, they will learn to work on things. Its just seems that a 20 year old might not be up for working on a marriage and tackling the day to day things that go on in a relationship. He should be enjoying the single life or at least dating others during this time of his life I would think. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Sounds like he popped the question to keep her around a while longer than the normal 40-20 relationship. You are right.. they have nothing in common.. She can't even sign a legal document yet without her parents siggy.. or even drink at a bar.. just wait till her party phase hits her.. he is going to go nutso She is going to go thru her phase that all people go thru in their early 20's of trying to find out what it is they want.. and chances are the 40 year old isn't going to be it down the road. Hopefully they will have a Looooong engagement..that way they don't bring a kid into the world and have all that mess to deal with when/if they break up Link to post Share on other sites
Author JackJack Posted March 20, 2007 Author Share Posted March 20, 2007 Sounds like he popped the question to keep her around a while longer than the normal 40-20 relationship. You are right.. they have nothing in common.. She can't even sign a legal document yet without her parents siggy.. or even drink at a bar.. just wait till her party phase hits her.. he is going to go nutso She is going to go thru her phase that all people go thru in their early 20's of trying to find out what it is they want.. and chances are the 40 year old isn't going to be it down the road. Hopefully they will have a Looooong engagement..that way they don't bring a kid into the world and have all that mess to deal with when/if they break up Its HER that is in her 40's. I don't think they'll have any kids, she had a hystrectomy a few years back. I think she said they were looking at 2008 or 2009 to get married. At 20 years of age I wasn't done sowing my wild oats and I doubt this guy is either. The thing is the 2 kids she has, were from a previous relationship, she wasn't even married to the kids father and said marriage wasn't for her but now this 20 year old turned her around on the idea? Hell a 20 year old doesn't even know much about life period must less about marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveLace Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 I believe that this guy thinks he truly loves her, but what do you know about that at 20? Even if he's acts mature for his age, I don't know that he's in his right mind with this relationship. It sounds like they both enjoy the sex a lot though...so this is probably what the relationship is based on, more than anything else. The younger guy who is proud to have an older, more experienced woman, and the older woman who feels vibrant and young again because of dating a younger man. He is definitely too young to think of getting married, especially to someone so much older than he is. Do they intend to have children while they are married? Has she considered the fact that he might wants kids someday, but physiologically speaking, she will be too old to reproduce naturally by then. I also think I'd feel strange about dating someone who is pretty much in the same generation as my own child. Egh, sounds just as weird as dating someone my parents' ages. Link to post Share on other sites
hotgurl Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Sounds like he popped the question to keep her around a while longer than the normal 40-20 relationship. You are right.. they have nothing in common.. She can't even sign a legal document yet without her parents siggy.. or even drink at a bar.. just wait till her party phase hits her.. he is going to go nutso She is going to go thru her phase that all people go thru in their early 20's of trying to find out what it is they want.. and chances are the 40 year old isn't going to be it down the road. Hopefully they will have a Looooong engagement..that way they don't bring a kid into the world and have all that mess to deal with when/if they break up So what's the average self life of a relationship with a 20 year age difference? would it be different if he was 30 and she was 50? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 So what's the average self life of a relationship with a 20 year age difference? the "shelf life' is equal to the amount of time it takes her to find someone more appropriate. she's probably trying to make some other dude jelous. i'd be interested in knowing her past history with men. Link to post Share on other sites
hotgurl Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 the "shelf life' is equal to the amount of time it takes her to find someone more appropriate. she's probably trying to make some other dude jelous. i'd be interested in knowing her past history with men. hhhhmmmm I guess I am slow than. MY BF is 19 years older than I am and we work very well. I am 28 and he is 47. But I had a kid early on so I had to mature faster and was looking to settle down and have a stable life. I still like to have fun etc.. but I was past my kegger every night. One night stand phase at that point. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 hhhhmmmm I guess I am slow than. MY BF is 19 years older than I am and we work very well. I am 28 and he is 47. thats fine when the boy is older. we're talking about the reverse. Link to post Share on other sites
hotgurl Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 thats fine when the boy is older. we're talking about the reverse. I honestly have to agree with you there. I would have a hard time dating a much younger guy if I wanted anything beyond hot sex. A casual fling yes. Marriage no. Although there is something to be said for a nice hard oiled body and a very willing and eager boy toy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JackJack Posted March 20, 2007 Author Share Posted March 20, 2007 the "shelf life' is equal to the amount of time it takes her to find someone more appropriate. she's probably trying to make some other dude jelous. i'd be interested in knowing her past history with men. Her past history with men was that she had dated men in the past anywhere from a few months to a few years. Her last relationship which ended years ago, is the father of her two kids. He ran around on her for along time before she found out. When she did, she kicked him out and said she didn't need a man like that in her life. To my knowledge the men she has dated were around her age. They were never married. She has mentioned several times she's not the marrying kind. Just becasue she feels two ppl can be in a relationship and have kids doesn't mean they have to be married. Which is fine. Shes a good spirited lady who is always laughing and fun to be around. She took care of herself and kids when she kicked her kids father out. She has always done pretty well for herself. I'm not sure how she met this guy really, I think through a mutual friend who had a son that was in the service with this guy. He does help her out alot and doesn't seem to be mooching off her or anything at this point. She has always been one though, to shut off her emotions and claims that sex is the way to go. Just a pure sexual relationship with a guy is fine with her. My guess is, since she was burned by her kids father. I do think this started out just as a sexual thing for them both but then developed into something more. Link to post Share on other sites
VirtualInsanity Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 To be honest, they can do what they want. Do I think it's odd for such an age difference? Yes and no. But then again my grandparents are around the age gap (18) and they've been together for 60 years. I find it amazing that it's okay for a couple who is say 30-50 or 40-60. But not okay for 20-40 or around that. We can sit around here all day and analyze the advantages, disadvantages, whatever. I have no idea if they have anything in common but they must. Why else would they be together. If their relationship started out with sex and is moving into something more then so be it. In a couple of years no one would think twice about it because it's more acceptable and I find that pathetic. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JackJack Posted March 20, 2007 Author Share Posted March 20, 2007 To be honest, they can do what they want. Do I think it's odd for such an age difference? Yes and no. But then again my grandparents are around the age gap (18) and they've been together for 60 years. I find it amazing that it's okay for a couple who is say 30-50 or 40-60. But not okay for 20-40 or around that. We can sit around here all day and analyze the advantages, disadvantages, whatever. I have no idea if they have anything in common but they must. Why else would they be together. If their relationship started out with sex and is moving into something more then so be it. In a couple of years no one would think twice about it because it's more acceptable and I find that pathetic. I don't give a flying flip what they do either it was just a question. :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
IpAncA Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Speaking of this age thingy. I was in Meijers today and there was this older guy (30s) with this younger girl (around 16). At first I thought it was his daughter but that changed when I seen him all over her. It was just sick and I let them know about it too. A comment I made accidently slipped out and they over heard me talking about them. So I was standing in line looking at em (couldn't help it) and the guy looked at me and then went back talking to his young fling and then she looked over at me with a grin like she was thinking I was jealous. Ewww...I don't freaking think so. That guy was no prize let me tell you. Ugh...probably shouldn't have looked at them because I know I gave him an ego boost. Probably her too. But anyway just thought I would share because normally I would say that I didn't mind the age gap but when I seen it in real life I change my mind. Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Trust me, women love younger men far more than men love younger women. Younger women aren't usually as good sexually either, because women rely more on skill than natural vigour. For men it's the opposite. That's why older women and younger men make more sense. Still 20 years is too much IMHO. Link to post Share on other sites
VirtualInsanity Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 I don't give a flying flip what they do either it was just a question. :lmao: Sorry. It's one of those days. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 For men it's the opposite. That's why older women and younger men make more sense. B4R...have you ever tried to put your hard member inside a dried prune of a vagina? come on, jesus christ man! Link to post Share on other sites
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