Guest Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 I am in a relationship for 6 years - i am about 27 years old male. We got engaged about 2 years ago but have not taken any steps toward getting married. She can not stand anyone in my family. After my father passed away and my family tried to come together as a support network, she felt that my mother should move on get a job and stop relying on her children for support. She tries to limit my interaction with my family, and I have allowed her. When the two of us are together i try to make sure that my family does not call while she is around, and will not take their phone calls while she is around. It seems like she is in competition with my 50 year old mother. I dont understand her problem. I also don't understand what any of this is supposed to do to make me feel like getting married. What do you think ? Link to post Share on other sites
Sevenmack Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 She's a control freak, plain and simple. And it won't get any better: She'll try to control every aspect of your life, to your detriment. She's got to go. First, dump her. If you want to get your life back, this is what you must do. Second, you must take some time and figure out why you allowed this woman to control your life this way. If you don't, you will end up with a similar kind of woman who will attempt to cut you off from friendships, family and ultimately, your own hopes and ambitions. Finally, cut off contact with her: Talking to her won't do you any good. That's all from me. Link to post Share on other sites
stockmos Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 What your mother does is none of her business - she has no right to interfere with this, or to have any control over communication with your family. She has to go, as sevenmack says, or you have to reassert yourself, which will cause a shift in the established dynamics of the relationship. Sadly from what you have written I cannot hold out much hope. Why are you staying in the relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
BeachBlonde Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 Wow! She seems like a sweetheart. If I were you, I'd be extremely hurt and angry (and I'm sure you are) about what she said about your mom, after she went through the grief of losing her husband. She has no right to criticize her like that. My father passed away a few years ago, and if someone told me that my mom should 'move on and get a job', I'd be royally pissed. Especially coming from a significant other. It's really none of her business, and I'm sure if her husband died, she'd be re-thinking about the rude comment she said. Why did you allow her to limit interaction with your family? I understand that you love her, but she seems VERY controlling. It's only going to get worse when you get married- pretty soon she's going to forbid you to see anyone but her. Link to post Share on other sites
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