For all you Nice Guys Out there

[amerikajin]

Great. Now you tell me.

 

Are we going to see you walking around the neighborhood with a spear in your hand?

 

Tanbark: Gwwwwwaaaar! Me tanbark! Me tanbark! Me want woman for cave love. Gwwwaaaaar!

[tanbark813]

So what background shall we expect in your avatar next month?

 

Hmmm.. I might have to go back to the ol' black for a bit.

 

Are we going to see you walking around the neighborhood with a spear in your hand?

 

If you play your cards right, big boy.

[alphamale]

excellent GUNNY...bravo bravo

[What?]

Gunny, you rock! I totally and completely agree with everything you say. I model my life on those principals. I lead my life exactly that way, and have had success on the grand scheme of things. Except for not being married now. Using these principals, I can tell after a little while whether it is going somewhere or not.

 

Everytime I think it is, it blows up in my face, and when I think it's not, it blows up in my face the other way. I try to justify this by believing the woman is afraid of actually finding happiness because she is too used to getting let down at some point, going by past experience. I just wish women were better at distinguishing sincerety vs bulls**t.

[lindya]

Men were engineered to be the hunters and protectors of the clan. Men were engineered to be aggressive. Men were engineered to track down prey, and to kill it. Men were also engineered to establish dominance over other males through violence and also by spreading their seed. Men also evolved to use this violence to ward off potential human competitors. Women are naturally attracted to men who show traits of aggression.

 

Survival of the fittest in every species is about adaptability, isn't it? In humans, intelligence and adaptability. On that basis, it stands to reason that discerning women will be most attracted to those who have those qualities - which may or may not call for aggressive displays, according to the circumstances. In some situations, aggression will just mark a man down and make him look weak.

 

There are a lot of guys on here who complain about "modern women", endlessly. They angst about not knowing what women want (as if there's a set list that applies universally). They smirk about men who are "friends with women" but what they don't get is that those men, as a result of their friendships with females as well as males, will develop far more sophisticated and versatile skills when it comes to workplace politicking. The working environment is the modern day battlefield for many people, and whether you guys like it or not there are a lot of women performing extremely effectively on it. Success depends on skills, the ability to form useful alliances and effectiveness as a people manager.

 

The Bitter Brigade beat their chests impotently while giving out the message "I don't know what the world expects of me. I'm falling to the bottom of the pile because I don't know how to adapt. Maybe if I get angry enough about it, everything will go into reverse and we'll suddenly all live in caves again."

 

Some of the smarter guys might egg them on, for fun and stirring purposes (not to mention to keep themselves looking good in comparison), in all the bitterness and rage. Then they carry on with the business of adapting for success so that they know when niceness is called for, how to adapt "nice" into a quality that looks fairly virile - and when to be more forthright and assertive.

 

If Donald Trump is picking out the winner for this season's "Apprentice" which of those two guys does he go for? Which does a woman go for?

[alphamale]

Survival of the fittest in every species is about adaptability, isn't it? In humans, intelligence and adaptability. On that basis, it stands to reason that discerning women will be most attracted to those who have those qualities - which may or may not call for aggressive displays, according to the circumstances. In some situations, aggression will just mark a man down and make him look weak.

"agression" per se comes in many forms LINDYA....it can be physical agression or mental agression or intellectual agression. The man who makes millions could well be very mentally aggressive or intellectually agressive but have little physical agression.

 

Agression can also mean a "take-charge" attitude. It could mean a dominant personality.

[computerguy9355]

Jesus, there are plenty of fishes in the sea. If she doesn't appreciate your kindness, just simply move on. Don't ever let women take over your life.

 

You got far more important things to do in your life. Why waste all your valuable time on women when you know you will always finish last?

 

What's wrong with being single? i see some of you here begging about 'i want to get a g/f'. You could have use the time to do something that will help you gain more knowledge and power. Only the fittest survive in this world.

 

BTW, being nice to a girl will never work out. However, money will.

[amerikajin]

Survival of the fittest in every species is about adaptability, isn't it? In humans, intelligence and adaptability. On that basis, it stands to reason that discerning women will be most attracted to those who have those qualities - which may or may not call for aggressive displays, according to the circumstances. In some situations, aggression will just mark a man down and make him look weak.

 

Lindy,

 

Good post.

 

Yes, I didn't say everything I wanted to say in the last post but I think I see your point, and I agree with it to some degree anyway. I think that men were bred to be aggressive, and I think that women still find aggression to be a necessary component of manhood. It's just that now, that aggression has to be adapted to suit modernity. As I said only half-jokingly, stomping the shyte out of your next door neighbor and then raping his wife probably would have been not only acceptable 12,000 years ago, but it would have been a desirable trait among men -- and it probably would have been for hundreds of thousands of years up to that point. Not that men did it all the time, mind you, but they did it whenever tribes or clans were fighting over resources and territory.

 

If you read the Old Testament, think about the fact that many of those stories are oral traditions passed down from generation to generation before the books were even recorded, probably dating back to the ancient Sumerian kingdom and possibly before then. The reason it is immoral to "covet thy neighbor's wife" and to lust is because the people who started the oral traditions probably did so out of an interest in finding ways to live amongst each other peacefully. Men regularly killed other men to gain access to women, and the women were often raped to spread the seed. Indeed, there is a passage in which Abram says to Sarai (Abraham to Sarah): "Behold, now, I know that thou art a fair woman to look upon; Therefore it shall come to pass when the Egyptians shall see thee, that they shall say, This is his wife, and they will kill me, but they will save thee alive"

 

These morals which forbade lust were clearly written to control male aggression, because the age of the hunter-gatherer was giving way to the age of men living together in villages and towns and even big cities. It was evidently a major effort to get men to control their genetic tendency to have their way with women and with weaker men, one which required a code of laws and ethical behavior. My point is, even with these codes, the male aggression was always there, because the genes of those who weren't aggressive enough had been wiped out of the pool. God rewarded aggressive men.

 

Gradually, men began to learn to live among other men in cities. But that male aggression was merely toned down; it wasn't eliminated outright. Men were adapted to enlist in the defense of kingdoms and of their own families. The male aggression which been used to kill other wild animals and even other men, was now being used to kill other men on the battlefield. Again, male aggression. As we moved into the industrial age, male strength was again necessary to operate heavy machinery. And again, male aggression was used in combat and a host of other activities.

 

And so here we are today, in an entirely different world; a world governed by laws and a world in which brains are far more important than brawn dictate that aggression be strictly regulated. In fact, male aggression in some cases is actually more destructive than constructive, even in the work place. Understanding and reading human emotions, something that women have been genetically programmed to do better than man, is just as important, and even more important in this complex society we've created. My prediction is, humans will ultimately fuse male aggression and female psychological intelligence to create more parity among the genders.

 

The bottom line is: I think that, here and now, women still seek men who have that aggressive trait. They still want to see guys who have ambition, that same assertiveness that their 12,000 year old ancestors used to hunt Bison or Elephants, or even each other, but that they want it suited to fit today's world. A thug, for example, is using that male aggression, but it's an aggression that is primitive, something that his 12,000 year-old ancestors would have used. A board-room CEO, by contrast, uses a more civilized aggression, though don't be fooled: when he's on the phone cursing out one of his competitors or someone who's otherwise standing in his way, you see glimpses of that pre-historic aggression coming to the surface. Women have to be reminded that it exists. People are hard-wired that way.

[Mustang1984]

I agree with you guys, it truely is survival of the fittest. Those who cant adapt dont reproduce just like out in the animal kingdom.

 

Now I'm a nice guy and have trouble just like many of you. However we nice guys have something great going for us. You see our problem is getting past that intial phase of attraacting a girl and getting her attention. Bad boys who have that aggressivess come of as sexy sometimes and thats why they generally are more succesful t picking women up. However, many of these aggressive type guys couldnt maintain a realationship to save their lives. They only have the skills for the one night stands and short term flings. I've knowen guys like this who are actually very depressed, becuase while they can get any woman they want into bed, they cant keep them around very long.

 

Nice guys often have the traits nessesary to have and maintain a long term relationship. So if you can stuggle and fight out the inital stages and get through the barrier and maintain a girls attention, I have often found its smooth sailing after that. It is tough though for nice guys to get throgh that barrier. Its all about adapting and I'll be the first to admit tht in this area in life I am far from the alpha male. Sometimes I feel like I'm the zulu male.lol. However I'm not giving up and neither should you guys. I intend to keep fighting and trying to adapt till the end and wont give up till I get that girl of my dreams.

[computerguy9355]

I agree with you guys, it truely is survival of the fittest. Those who cant adapt dont reproduce just like out in the animal kingdom.

 

Now I'm a nice guy and have trouble just like many of you. However we nice guys have something great going for us. You see our problem is getting past that intial phase of attraacting a girl and getting her attention. Bad boys who have that aggressivess come of as sexy sometimes and thats why they generally are more succesful t picking women up. However, many of these aggressive type guys couldnt maintain a realationship to save their lives. They only have the skills for the one night stands and short term flings. I've knowen guys like this who are actually very depressed, becuase while they can get any woman they want into bed, they cant keep them around very long.

 

Nice guys often have the traits nessesary to have and maintain a long term relationship. So if you can stuggle and fight out the inital stages and get through the barrier and maintain a girls attention, I have often found its smooth sailing after that. It is tough though for nice guys to get throgh that barrier. Its all about adapting and I'll be the first to admit tht in this area in life I am far from the alpha male. Sometimes I feel like I'm the zulu male.lol. However I'm not giving up and neither should you guys. I intend to keep fighting and trying to adapt till the end and wont give up till I get that girl of my dreams.

 

it will be difficult, if not impossible, to pass the initial stage if you are a nice guy

 

i am here to empathize this again, women will NEVER like niceguys. The answer is simple, no attraction. If you want women to like you, you have to be

 

1. A moron

2. An ******* to other people

3. Have money

4. Dominate in any workplace

5. Laugh at losers

 

 

nah, seriously, women will never like nice guys, THEY COULD CARE LESS..like i said before..just spend your time wisely, you only live once, not twice. Why waste all your valuable time chasing girls when you can travel to places that you have never been to?

 

Edit: lindya, you are wrong

 

survive of the fittest isn't just about adaptability, its about whether you can beat your competitor and make money. this world is more cruel than you think. people eat each other for lunch

 

also, (speaking from true experience, especially true to information technology), if you do not have valuable skills, you will be looked down upon, laughed at, people will treat you like crap.

 

however, if you have skills and have more knowledge than the person right next to you, you can do anything you want, you can simply laugh at them when they get fired for their lack of knowledge, have no respect towards anyone in any workplace (if you do, you will be taken advantage of), and tell them to get the hell away from you

 

thats what i call survive of the fittest

[What?]

it will be difficult, if not impossible, to pass the initial stage if you are a nice guy

 

i am here to empathize this again, women will NEVER like niceguys. The answer is simple, no attraction. If you want women to like you, you have to be

 

1. A moron

2. An ******* to other people

3. Have money

4. Dominate in any workplace

5. Laugh at losers

 

 

nah, seriously, women will never like nice guys, THEY COULD CARE LESS..like i said before..just spend your time wisely, you only live once, not twice. Why waste all your valuable time chasing girls when you can travel to places that you have never been to?

 

__________________________________________

Well I meet the criteria 1,3,4 and 5. I will always believe there is a woman out there that likes a nice guy. If I never meet her, so be it. But if I do, I am quite capable of meeting criteria 2 in a heartbeat, especially if I am competing. I am a nice guy that can be aggressive when the situation warrants. I can adapt. But I will not start that way. I just want a woman who is nice to me and one that I can treat her the way she deserves to be treated. It's that simple. I just can't understand having to put her down in order to establish my feelings for her in the good.

 

It seems like a big game I don't intend on playing. If society has become so sick that this is how relationships are molded, then I am glad I won't be reproducing. Nobody desreves this. Maybe that vacation to Europe is in order... Thank you to everybody as this has been a rather educational forum.

[VinaAmez]

it will be difficult, if not impossible, to pass the initial stage if you are a nice guy

 

i am here to empathize this again, women will NEVER like niceguys. The answer is simple, no attraction. If you want women to like you, you have to be

 

1. A moron

2. An ******* to other people

3. Have money

4. Dominate in any workplace

5. Laugh at losers

 

 

nah, seriously, women will never like nice guys, THEY COULD CARE LESS..like i said before..just spend your time wisely, you only live once, not twice. Why waste all your valuable time chasing girls when you can travel to places that you have never been to?

 

Edit: lindya, you are wrong

 

survive of the fittest isn't just about adaptability, its about whether you can beat your competitor and make money. this world is more cruel than you think. people eat each other for lunch

 

also, (speaking from true experience, especially true to information technology), if you do not have valuable skills, you will be looked down upon, laughed at, people will treat you like crap.

 

however, if you have skills and have more knowledge than the person right next to you, you can do anything you want, you can simply laugh at them when they get fired for their lack of knowledge, have no respect towards anyone in any workplace (if you do, you will be taken advantage of), and tell them to get the hell away from you

 

thats what i call survive of the fittest

 

I wouldn't say NEVER. It does and can happen for nice guy types.

 

They need to be given a chance before being tossed aside.

[lindya]

The bottom line is: I think that, here and now, women still seek men who have that aggressive trait. They still want to see guys who have ambition, that same assertiveness that their 12,000 year old ancestors used to hunt Bison or Elephants, or even each other, but that they want it suited to fit today's world. A thug, for example, is using that male aggression, but it's an aggression that is primitive, something that his 12,000 year-old ancestors would have used. A board-room CEO, by contrast, uses a more civilized aggression, though don't be fooled: when he's on the phone cursing out one of his competitors or someone who's otherwise standing in his way, you see glimpses of that pre-historic aggression coming to the surface. Women have to be reminded that it exists. People are hard-wired that way.

 

I think so too, and I'd also say that a certain amount of aggression is desirable in both men and women (which you covered when you mentioned the successful fusion of aggression and emotional intelligence). Aggression is a word with negative connotations that implies violence, rudeness and hostility....but it needn't always be negative. Two people can compete against eachother with aggression, and still be on friendly terms. The aggression is a form of energy that stimulates and benefits both of them.

 

Maybe for me that's what sums up the well balanced man (or, indeed, woman). Too nice is when there's an absence of that competitive instinct. It would be dull to play a game of tennis against someone who just hit the ball in your direction all the time. Fine if you're a novice player, but otherwise you need an opponent who will challenge you and help you further improve your game. The opposite extreme is someone whose ego is so out of control that they'll make a fool of themselves by playing a highly aggressive game against a complete novice.

 

Edit: lindya, you are wrong

 

survive of the fittest isn't just about adaptability, its about whether you can beat your competitor and make money. this world is more cruel than you think. people eat each other for lunch

 

How cruel it is maybe depends a fair bit on how you personally choose to perceive other people's aggression and competitive instincts; how humiliated you feel when other people outdo you in a particular area. That's why ideally, everyone should participate in some kind of sport or competitive pursuit as they're growing up, so that they can learn to deal with their own, and other people's, competitive instincts. To take other people's glee in winning (at your expense) less personally, and know how to be a good winner when you do win. The worse a loser you are, when you do lose, the more other people will delight in rubbing your nose in it. That's one of the rougher methods by which people teach eachother some valuable lessons.

 

When I see someone who's drowning in bitterness and anger because someone or something has made them feel like a loser, I see someone who who hasn't learned to be a good player. Good in the sense of able to handle both victory and defeat with grace. That's not a desirably quality in anyone - whether they're male or female.

[amerikajin]

I think so too, and I'd also say that a certain amount of aggression is desirable in both men and women (which you covered when you mentioned the successful fusion of aggression and emotional intelligence). Aggression is a word with negative connotations that implies violence, rudeness and hostility....but it needn't always be negative. Two people can compete against eachother with aggression, and still be on friendly terms. The aggression is a form of energy that stimulates and benefits both of them.

 

Maybe for me that's what sums up the well balanced man (or, indeed, woman). Too nice is when there's an absence of that competitive instinct. It would be dull to play a game of tennis against someone who just hit the ball in your direction all the time. Fine if you're a novice player, but otherwise you need an opponent who will challenge you and help you further improve your game. The opposite extreme is someone whose ego is so out of control that they'll make a fool of themselves by playing a highly aggressive game against a complete novice.

 

I guess what I meant to add when I went off on this particular tangent was that we have socially and psychologically, and simultaneously, we have also evolved physically or biologically.

 

Psycho-social evolution occurred when we started living in cities some 7,000-12,000 years ago. We suddenly found ourselves with a food source that could, absent natural disasters, reliably feed larger masses of people, and so these masses of people settled. And in so doing we also found that larger masses of people, if they peacefully coexisted, could accomplish things that our hunter-gatherer ancestors could not. They could of course develop irrigation, but they could also do so much more - things like building massive temples, roads, set up sophisticated systems of commerce through trade. And as long as the food could supply everyone, the more, the merrier.

 

But in order to do all of this, people had to learn rather quickly to regulate some aspects of their biological evolution; they had to cast off their hunter-gatherer mentality. It seemed simple enough, but evolution not only affects our physique, but also our mind. We were programmed, as men, not only to have muscle, we were also programmed to identify situations and to respond with behaviors that would increase the likelihood of our survival. That genetic instinct is male aggression; the natural impulse to use whatever powers we have at a moment's notice whenever it suits us. We were programmed to think and act in such a way not over a couple of generations -- which is often the time social movements such as religion and political ideology take to evolve into regular social behaviors -- we were programmed over several million years. That's hard-wired into our genes.

 

What this has meant is that men have since struggled at times to regulate their natural aggression. Men overwhelmingly make up the prison population -- for the obvious reasons. Men overwhelmingly commit more rapes than women -- for the obvious reasons. Men are also more likely to cheat than women -- for the obvious reasons. The only one of the above I see changing in the future is possibly more parity in the cheating department, as it is often an emotional issue for women as much as it as an urge to cast the seed for men.

 

The confusion among both genders is that, when we are attracted to someone, we can often get mixed signals. Someone may have the traits that meet our requirements on the psycho-social checklist, yet they may still lack the traits that we still naturally crave deep down inside. So a nice guy with a good job may be good on the one hand, but if he's a skinny runt and too passive in arguments, deep down inside, a woman is going to think "Man, this guy's a wussy - I can control him. Not cool" And she may end up falling for a guy who is occasionally a blowhard all because he has those traits that the first guy didn't.

[Mary3]

excellent GUNNY...bravo bravo

 

Alpha is that * you * on your avatar ? If so , you look yummy lol:rolleyes:

[Moreesleep]

I 100% hear you.. So hard for me.. my mom taught me well and it seems like alll my being a nice guy is going to waste of a girl wants to be into some guy who really does not seem to care all that might about her other then T&A

[ddnnee]

maybe nice guys are insecure guys? i find myself as a nice guy, but i am also poor and have no confidence. At times i feel that if i were financially secure, i wouldn't mind acting like a jerk and hitting up every women i see without feeling damaged after a rejection.

 

money will certainly empower you and give you that reassurance you need to take control of that chick.

[lindya]

maybe nice guys are insecure guys? i find myself as a nice guy, but i am also poor and have no confidence. At times i feel that if i were financially secure, i wouldn't mind acting like a jerk and hitting up every women i see without feeling damaged after a rejection.

 

I can think of a guy being nice, and be extremely attracted to him - but in that context "nice" means that I like (and share) his values, feel comfortable around him, like his humour, like him and generally respect and trust the person he seems to be.

 

In the context of this message board, "nice" seems to be a euphemism for "powerless and a bit pathetic". Hopefully the odd shrinking violet here can be empowered by other people's efforts to make them embrace life instead of cowering away from it like a beaten puppy...but there seem to be a good chunk of people who continually skip anything that relates to positive thinking/owning responsibility for one's problems. People who bypass all that and head directly for the "I know.... isn't it awful/aren't people horrible?" posts. In that sense, Loveshack can be the cyberspace equivalent of a mummy patting her porky, bullied-at-school-for-being-overweight child on the head, feeding it more chocolate cake and murmuring sympathetically about what a bad place the world is.

 

Maybe that's the only "support" some people are up to handling? I hope for their sake it's just a phase.

[ddnnee]

"In the context of this message board, "nice" seems to be a euphemism for "powerless and a bit pathetic". Hopefully the odd shrinking violet here can be empowered by other people's efforts to make them embrace life instead of cowering away from it like a beaten puppy...but there seem to be a good chunk of people who continually skip anything that relates to positive thinking/owning responsibility for one's problems. People who bypass all that and head directly for the "I know.... isn't it awful/aren't people horrible?" posts. In that sense, Loveshack can be the cyberspace equivalent of a mummy patting her porky, bullied-at-school-for-being-overweight child on the head, feeding it more chocolate cake and murmuring sympathetically about what a bad place the world is. "

 

the reason "nice" has become a synonym for "pathetic and powerless" is because girls have made it so. it has been observed countless times where a guy who genuinely cares for the girl is left out in the cold while she goes bang some crack-user gf-abuser. not only that, she goes back to the guy who supports her emotionly and tells him about how her new boyfriend is smacking her up and down the street, but she bangs him every night.

 

"jerks" have lived up to becoming the bedwinner, chick grabber, or whatever you want to call it because (again) it has been observed many times before.

 

isn't it funny how women fight against spousal abuse, and yet, they go for the guy who is exactly that? isn't it funny how women complain about how men never listen to them but go for guys who does exactly that? could it be that women will become a new synonym for "hypocrit" if it haven't already?

[lindya]

=isn't it funny how women fight against spousal abuse, and yet, they go for the guy who is exactly that? isn't it funny how women complain about how men never listen to them but go for guys who does exactly that? could it be that women will become a new synonym for "hypocrit" if it haven't already?

 

You're an idiot. You can't spell, you can't think and you've obviously got a completely skewed outlook on life where "guy on my level who is comfortable to be around and good fun" equals "violent partner-beater."

 

The more I read comments here from self-professed nice guys, the more I see that this "nice guy" is nothing more than a woman-hating little prick who whines about not being able to get a girlfriend then goes home to wank over violent gang-bang porn.

[ddnnee]

You're an idiot. You can't spell, you can't think and you've obviously got a completely skewed outlook on life where "guy on my level who is comfortable to be around and good fun" equals "violent partner-beater."

 

The more I read comments here from self-professed nice guys, the more I see that this "nice guy" is nothing more than a woman-hating little prick who whines about not being able to get a girlfriend then goes home to wank over violent gang-bang porn.

 

attacking me personally already? maybe because ispeak the truth and you can't handle it. or maybe you are a pre-pube teen. either way, you lost the argument by taking things personally. best that you return your imac and stay offline.

 

kthxbye.

[lindya]

attacking me personally already? maybe because ispeak the truth and you can't handle it. or maybe you are a pre-pube teen.

 

Being a pre-pubescent teenager is at least one adolescent embarrassment I escaped. My sympathies if you didn't.

 

i find myself as a nice guy, but i am also poor and have no confidence.

 

You're poor and introverted. I empathise, but so far I'm handling your truth without too much angst.

 

money will certainly empower you and give you that reassurance you need to take control of that chick.

 

I don't disbelieve that this is your version of the truth. You're saying that you see yourself as a Nice Guy, but if you had money, you wouldn't be a Nice Guy. You'd use your money as a means of controlling other people - and particularly women. Bearing in mind some of your earlier comments, why would it be hypocritical or masochistic of a woman to turn her back on this type of Nice Guy?

 

Basically, you seem to be saying "If I had money and balls, I'd be a sh*t....but I lack the resources, so I need to pretend to be nice. This is what's coming out of your posts, and you're still having a hard time figuring why women aren't banging on your door? What's wrong with just being whoever you feel like being - regardless of whether you've got power and money?

 

it has been observed countless times where a guy who genuinely cares for the girl is left out in the cold while she goes bang some crack-user gf-abuser.

 

Once your fingers have defrosted sufficiently, you could maybe provide a link or two to these "caring guy left in cold as love object shags violent crack addict" studies.

[VinaAmez]

Speaking for nice guys' date=' they don't chase after just any woman. If you've caught his eye, everything he says is the honest-to-God truth and [b']he will do what you say (to an extent[/b]). I quite frankly have a hard time distinguishing between a "nice girl" and a woman who is trying to tell me what I want to hear. Women must feel the same way.

 

The thing I try to do to set me apart from the pretenders is to say what's on my mind and never waiver. Back it all up. That scares women because they haven't ever seen that before. Then you run. Instead of doing that, wait out the nice guy. You will lose. Or win, as I like to think!

 

And you consider that a good thing?

 

However I do agree that "nice guys" should be given a chance. And yes I'm sure some women feel the same way.

 

 

"In the context of this message board, "nice" seems to be a euphemism for "powerless and a bit pathetic". Hopefully the odd shrinking violet here can be empowered by other people's efforts to make them embrace life instead of cowering away from it like a beaten puppy...but there seem to be a good chunk of people who continually skip anything that relates to positive thinking/owning responsibility for one's problems. People who bypass all that and head directly for the "I know.... isn't it awful/aren't people horrible?" posts. In that sense, Loveshack can be the cyberspace equivalent of a mummy patting her porky, bullied-at-school-for-being-overweight child on the head, feeding it more chocolate cake and murmuring sympathetically about what a bad place the world is. "

 

the reason "nice" has become a synonym for "pathetic and powerless" is because girls have made it so. it has been observed countless times where a guy who genuinely cares for the girl is left out in the cold while she goes bang some crack-user gf-abuser. not only that, she goes back to the guy who supports her emotionly and tells him about how her new boyfriend is smacking her up and down the street, but she bangs him every night.

 

I know what your saying and agree.

 

So would you consider "nice" and "balanced" to be separate?

[Mustang1984]

Wow this is getting personal.lol. Let me start off by saying that money doesnt mean jack when it comes to girls a lot of the time. It may appear that it does, but if you look closer you will most likely find that confidense, personality, looks, or a combination are at work. The money is just an added bonus. By itself it really wont do much. Personality and confidense are the biggies. I've got looks and dough, but no gf and not much success with women. I mean, if you dont have the confidense to approach a girl and talk, how the heck will she even know your rich anyway.

 

"In the context of this message board, "nice" seems to be a euphemism for "powerless and a bit pathetic". What it comes down to is that being nice isnt the problem its a lack of confidince and social skills.

 

As for the talk about how women will drop a nice guy and go for a jerk. Yes it does happen. It happned to me after a 5 year relationship. Never got to sleep with her, but the new guy sure is cause hes a jerk, bad boy, whatever you want to call him.

 

When woman say they want a nice guy, they dont mean the wimpy, poor social skilled, introverted, clingy, push over guy. Yeah that guy might be really nice, but he isnt man enough for them. They want extroverted, confident, great social skills, and a guy who fights back a bit and is a challnege not a push over. Either one of those guys can be romantic and nice. I admit I'm not the second guy. I was a push over, i did anything and everything for my ex and hardly argued much. I dint have many friends and my social skills werent on par for a guy my age. Was I nice? Yeah I was very sweet and kind to her. But I lacked that masculine drive and confidense that she wanted. Sadly I acted more like a female best friend I think. AAAAAAAAAA.lol. This is what a lot of the "nice guys" on here are doing and its why your having problems.

[ddnnee]

obviously lindya is fighting for the female team.

 

"Basically, you seem to be saying "If I had money and balls, I'd be a sh*t....but I lack the resources, so I need to pretend to be nice. This is what's coming out of your posts, and you're still having a hard time figuring why women aren't banging on your door? What's wrong with just being whoever you feel like being - regardless of whether you've got power and money?"

bingo, you got it right, for once... being the jerk will get you love.

 

"Once your fingers have defrosted sufficiently, you could maybe provide a link or two to these "caring guy left in cold as love object shags violent crack addict" studies."

 

I dont have to give you links to prove it. you can search it up right here on this site and find it. we both know girls prefer the jerk over the guy who pampers her. let's leave it like that.

 

next time, go trolling on other forums please. you know, forums like neopets and maple story. that's where you belong.