sb129 Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 _________________________________________________________________ JCD, This is what I've been wanting to hear from a live human. Excellent attitude! As long as I know there is another lady out there that still appreciates this kind of thing, I am not a lost cause! A leopard cannot change his spots. I will continue to be me, and one day I will get there! It worked before, and it will work again! It's refreshing to hear positive things for once! Thanks for your feedback! There is more than one woman who falls into this category!!! I am... I think it's just because a lot of very venting, misogynistic, bitter posts are placed on this board by guys who claim to be "nice guys". For me, the drip, drip effect takes place and I start to feel a knee-jerk, negative reaction against the phrase "nice guy" because I associate it with men who adopt a pious air while nurturing all kinds of destructive hostility against my gender. That's the effect of this board for you. Out in the real world I think of nice guys as being men who have appealing personalities and manners, and who are pleasant and fun to be around. Having sexual and romantic chemistry with a genuinely nice, down to earth guy is the best thing that can happen to a woman - and the drama, games and seduction manuals that embittered "former nice guys" get addicted to reading about (and attempting to put into practice) are no substitute whatsoever. great post lindya/ For most of my life I have always been attracted to so-called "bad boys." I stopped dating altogether for a few years to focus on getting my life together and making myself happy, which I've done. About six months ago I met a new guy, and the chemistry between us is HOT. He is not, in any way, a bad boy. He is sweet, considerate, well-mannered, and yes, NICE...but he does not kiss my ass in any way. He has a great life/career and does his own thing. But he lets me know I am special to him. There has been no game-playing whatsoever, and it feels SO refreshing and healthy. I feel like the luckiest woman on earth to have met this incredible man, so I'm praying that it lasts and that I'll never go back to "bad boys" ever again! Snap garnet. i have exactly the same thing. And we have been together about seven months. Its great. I wouldn't change him for the world. Link to post Share on other sites
mrmaximum Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 The problem with nice guys is that they idealize women. There are just as many female players and no good women as there are no good men but nice guys think that all women are being mistreated and they think they will be the one knight in shining that will show a woman what love is. This strategy almost never works. I can be a nice guy and I have a woman that appeciates that side of me but she has to be worth it. Nice guys will let a woman see this side no matter how badly she treats him and that is why keep getting hurt every time. Damn Woggle, you got me pegged!! This was the story of my life when I was in highschool and my bro and would just stand there and stare as jerky after jerky scored the women and we were left looking like morons! I agree that there is a balance that must be achieved, be nice but not a doormat, that being said however, at last count I have 4 buds who fit that balanced model and ALL of them where badly screwed over by a woman who didn't know a good thing if it bit them on the @SS!! There are good and bad in both genders. Link to post Share on other sites
mrmaximum Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 I second that. I don't understand why a great guy has to be a jerk/********* along with his good guy side in order to be balanced. To be balanced, you just need to be nice and know when people are trying to take advantage of you or walk all over you and you prevent that from happening. You don't have to be a jerk to be balanced. Agreed. It's not that women want a jack@ss (at least when they hit their 20's anyway), they want someone who isn't a doormat. Something that wasn't lost on me was the fact that I found my Fiancee when I stopped looking for a woman to treat well. Women don't validate us, and if you look at woman in this manner, it can be used against you. Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 The last guy I dated that was a self-proclaimed "nice guy" *shudder* ended up having a terrible drug/alcohol problem and totalled my car. By the time I ended the relationship, he owed me over $3000.00. Have I seen it? Nope. Will I ever see it? Maybe if he makes it big as the next white rapper! One of the best lines he ever used on me (as I broke up with him) was, "Baby, I thought you'd be holding my hand as we walked down the red carpet together!" Yeah, I know. I was stupid. Very stupid. Took me about another year before I forgave myself enough to want to date again. *shrugs* My point is that if you want to be "nice" you have to show people. "Nice" is just a pretty word until you prove it to your s/o. There's no point in tooting your own horn. Anyone can say they are "nice." Link to post Share on other sites
mrmaximum Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 There's no point in tooting your own horn. Anyone can say they are "nice." Absolutely, realized that while watching my former best freind in highschool treat my current best friend like crap. Then he would always state that we were both "Nice guys". Yeah, that isn't a statement one can make about oneself, I totally agree. Link to post Share on other sites
Voyeur Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 Hi I'm a newbie but I thought I'd add to this conversation. I guess I'm what you call a "nice" guy too. And I agree with those who have stated that women seem to choose these jerky guys because of their "self-confidence" and the idea that they will make them feel "safer" than a "nice" guy will. I also think...and I could be WAY off base here...that some women probably think "nice" guys will be, um, less exciting in bed. But, as much as I appreciate and believe in women's intuition, these beliefs can be dead wrong. If many of these women take a chance on a nice guy, he just may show that he's more than man enough to keep her safe (I've met plenty of nice guys like me in the military who know how to handle a situation). And as for the bedroom, well, I think many of these ladies might be surprised by Mr Nice Guy's...versatility. That's just my 2 cents worth. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 I also think...and I could be WAY off base here...that some women probably think "nice" guys will be, um, less exciting in bed. You're not off base. They totally think he will rock their world in the sack. If many of these women take a chance on a nice guy, he just may show that he's more than man enough to keep her safe (I've met plenty of nice guys like me in the military who know how to handle a situation). They might believe you if they are looking for a guy to marry but if it is a f- buddy or a short term relationship then they want a guy that knows what to do and where to put it and that guy is not a "nice" guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Voyeur Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 They might believe you if they are looking for a guy to marry but if it is a f- buddy or a short term relationship then they want a guy that knows what to do and where to put it and that guy is not a "nice" guy. Well, that's certainly the assumption I'm referring to...but not necessarily fact. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 You're not off base. They totally think he will rock their world in the sack. They might believe you if they are looking for a guy to marry but if it is a f- buddy or a short term relationship then they want a guy that knows what to do and where to put it and that guy is not a "nice" guy. Knows where to put it ? I hope so, lol Being *nice* has nothing to do with sex....Being confidant and skillfull DOES Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 Hi I'm a newbie but I thought I'd add to this conversation. I guess I'm what you call a "nice" guy too. And I agree with those who have stated that women seem to choose these jerky guys because of their "self-confidence" and the idea that they will make them feel "safer" than a "nice" guy will. I also think...and I could be WAY off base here...that some women probably think "nice" guys will be, um, less exciting in bed. But, as much as I appreciate and believe in women's intuition, these beliefs can be dead wrong. If many of these women take a chance on a nice guy, he just may show that he's more than man enough to keep her safe (I've met plenty of nice guys like me in the military who know how to handle a situation). And as for the bedroom, well, I think many of these ladies might be surprised by Mr Nice Guy's...versatility. That's just my 2 cents worth. We want you to rock our world in the bed....Nicey nice guys will likely put the lady first in the bed and * thats * nice Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 Absolutely, realized that while watching my former best freind in highschool treat my current best friend like crap. Then he would always state that we were both "Nice guys". Yeah, that isn't a statement one can make about oneself, I totally agree. Nice guys tend to be blind to the fact some women will walk all over them and the nice guys keep trying harder....and harder and still get walked on... The * key * is balance In the bedroom and out Link to post Share on other sites
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