Guest Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 So there is a girl that flirts with my bf a lot. She used to flirt sooo much, but now it's calmed down a bit because she has her own bf. She still does flirt with mine though. The annoying thing is, she acts like she wants to be friends with me, yet, she added my bf to msn a couple of months ago & never added me. (I know that seems stupid to say, but if you were friends with someone, you'd add them too). Since she talks to him so much in person, I had a hunch that she probably talks to him online all the time. So I asked him if there was ever a time she didn't start talking to him on msn when he was online, and he said no. I just find it weird that she's so focused on my bf all the time. The other day at a party, she had her back to her own bf & was chatting it up with mine... I don't know what to do. I've told my bf that it bugs me, but all he says is, "I don't see it." or "I like her, she's nice, she's never done anything bad." Am I over reacting?!?!? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 The annoying thing is, she acts like she wants to be friends with me, yet, she added my bf to msn a couple of months ago & never added me. (I know that seems stupid to say, but if you were friends with someone, you'd add them too). He said "I don't see it." or "I like her, she's nice, she's never done anything bad." Am I over reacting?!?!? I don't think your overreacting. I think if your bf wants to be with you he will respect your feelings and stop talking to her so much. Whats going to happen if she gets him alone somewhere, (in a hallway or in the parking lot) will he be able to push her away and tell you or will he just go with it. He did say he liked her and she was nice. If she was your friend she would talk to you not your BF. I think she is more interested in your BF than her own. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 I don't think you're over-reacting. However, I think your anger is misplaced - she can't flirt with your bf unless he allows her to. He is letting her do this, he is talking with her on MSN, he is enjoying the attention and downplaying its effect on your peace of mind, he is not respecting your wishes to minimize contact and flirting, he is responsible for his part in things. If he wanted to shut her down, he could. Link to post Share on other sites
wamulover Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 So there is a girl that flirts with my bf a lot. She used to flirt sooo much, but now it's calmed down a bit because she has her own bf. She still does flirt with mine though. The annoying thing is, she acts like she wants to be friends with me, yet, she added my bf to msn a couple of months ago & never added me. (I know that seems stupid to say, but if you were friends with someone, you'd add them too). Since she talks to him so much in person, I had a hunch that she probably talks to him online all the time. So I asked him if there was ever a time she didn't start talking to him on msn when he was online, and he said no. I just find it weird that she's so focused on my bf all the time. The other day at a party, she had her back to her own bf & was chatting it up with mine... I don't know what to do. I've told my bf that it bugs me, but all he says is, "I don't see it." or "I like her, she's nice, she's never done anything bad." Am I over reacting?!?!? Oh come on! Leave the guy alone. Flirting is harmless. If he cheats, then throw him on the couch for a night or two. But flirting is normal, human nature and ok in my book! Link to post Share on other sites
moredeborah Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 I would be angry too. But have you spoken to your boyfriend about it? If he's the type (like the guy above me) that thinks it's OK to flirt then you can simply say that it bothers you regardless. Not everyone is okay with flirting... it's hard to see your boyfriend getting and giving attention from someone that's not you. Link to post Share on other sites
TheEvilEdge7 Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 Oh come on! Leave the guy alone. Flirting is harmless. If he cheats, then throw him on the couch for a night or two. But flirting is normal, human nature and ok in my book! If this bothers you so much, you might as well end it right now. You can't have ANY kind of relationship without trust. You needn't trust her, but you must trust him. Clearly, you don't have full trust or this wouldn't bother you. Link to post Share on other sites
1deadgirl Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 If this bothers you so much, you might as well end it right now. You can't have ANY kind of relationship without trust. You needn't trust her, but you must trust him. Clearly, you don't have full trust or this wouldn't bother you. First it is flirting, then a casual drink, then dinner. After that, you know what sister.... Dump him now before he breaks your heart or even worse, he comes home with something only a medical doctor can cure. Link to post Share on other sites
1dw Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 If this bothers you so much, you might as well end it right now. You can't have ANY kind of relationship without trust. You needn't trust her, but you must trust him. Clearly, you don't have full trust or this wouldn't bother you. This is very true--but we still must not overreact to flirting, especially when he doesn't initiate it. Link to post Share on other sites
wamulover Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 This is very true--but we still must not overreact to flirting, especially when he doesn't initiate it. Mmm Hmm, girl! Link to post Share on other sites
EvilLaceyWinters Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 First it is flirting, then a casual drink, then dinner. After that, you know what sister.... Dump him now before he breaks your heart or even worse, he comes home with something only a medical doctor can cure. I agree 1deadgirl. First it is a little flirting then a movie then...... Get rid of him now expecially if the other girl is 10 times hotter then you. Then you are really in trouble and shouldn't even bother. Link to post Share on other sites
1deadgirl Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 I agree 1deadgirl. First it is a little flirting then a movie then...... Get rid of him now expecially if the other girl is 10 times hotter then you. Then you are really in trouble and shouldn't even bother. Thanks, fellow newbie... Darn, I never thought about the "hotter" part. That would send me over the edge and probably cause an eating disorder or two. Link to post Share on other sites
1dw Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 Play nice girls. No need to binge on chocolates yet:bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 I'm sure Guest's bf wouldn't feel so nonchalant if Guest were talking online all the time with some other guy and the other guys was flirting with her every chance he got. I'm sure Guest's bf would be upset if he told Guest it bothered him and Guest just replied, "I don't see that he's flirting. I like him, he's nice, he's never done anything bad." Guest, I'd probably want to do something sneaky...like the next time she is flirting with your guy and her boyfriend is there, go talk to him and say something like, "Gee, I'm sorry you and your gf seem to be having problems. She wouldn't be flirting with my bf so much if everything was good between you, right? She talks to him online all the time, I figured you two weren't doing so well..." But, that's just me. I don't necessarily recommend that course of action. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleWoman12 Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 Oh come on! Leave the guy alone. Flirting is harmless. If he cheats, then throw him on the couch for a night or two. But flirting is normal, human nature and ok in my book!Who the heck are you to say that? Throw him out the door and all his clothes out the window! Link to post Share on other sites
Dadaal Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 Littlewomen12... are you not overreacting to this issue. So far, nothing bad happened. Girls married or not do flirt with me while their BFs/husbands are there. It is usually a matter of confidence. Link to post Share on other sites
radionovice9696 Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 So there is a girl that flirts with my bf a lot. She used to flirt sooo much, but now it's calmed down a bit because she has her own bf. She still does flirt with mine though. The annoying thing is, she acts like she wants to be friends with me, yet, she added my bf to msn a couple of months ago & never added me. (I know that seems stupid to say, but if you were friends with someone, you'd add them too). Since she talks to him so much in person, I had a hunch that she probably talks to him online all the time. So I asked him if there was ever a time she didn't start talking to him on msn when he was online, and he said no. I just find it weird that she's so focused on my bf all the time. The other day at a party, she had her back to her own bf & was chatting it up with mine... I don't know what to do. I've told my bf that it bugs me, but all he says is, "I don't see it." or "I like her, she's nice, she's never done anything bad." Am I over reacting?!?!? how old are u guys?....lay the fraking law down...take control...demand that he ceases to communicate with someone who makes u as uncomfortable as the situation does...sometimes men ...heck i dont understand us men sometimes Link to post Share on other sites
EllCee Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 I'm in the "Get Over it" camp. Flirting is a basic part of some people's personalities. It's what makes them ... charming. Well, charming to some people, other people tell them to go **** themselves. If you're going to have a problem with this, you're probably going to have a problem with that kind of behavior, perceived or actual, for a long time until you accept/admit it. Link to post Share on other sites
AnneB49 Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 when do you cross the line? when is flirting OK, and when is it dangerous? Is verbal flirting OK? touching? massages? Dinners? Movies? Romantic Weekends? Swinger Parties? I mean if you cross the line a little isn't it the same as crossing all the way? if you are cheating even a little it is still cheating... just my 2 cents... Link to post Share on other sites
Swingwithyou71 Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 Here is a question, when your man flirts does he get arroused? Next time he does it gently brush up against him to see if he is hard, if he is screw him and then leave him. Always take the power before you leave sister!!! let him know he can never have you again. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleWoman12 Posted March 23, 2007 Share Posted March 23, 2007 Here is a question, when your man flirts does he get arroused? Next time he does it gently brush up against him to see if he is hard, if he is screw him and then leave him. Always take the power before you leave sister!!! let him know he can never have you again.Or, you could do a John Wayne Bobbitt to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 23, 2007 Share Posted March 23, 2007 I don't think you're over-reacting. However, I think your anger is misplaced - she can't flirt with your bf unless he allows her to. He is letting her do this, he is talking with her on MSN, he is enjoying the attention and downplaying its effect on your peace of mind, he is not respecting your wishes to minimize contact and flirting, he is responsible for his part in things. If he wanted to shut her down, he could. Yeah he downplays it.. Oh, and I forgot to mention, he says he thinks it's hot that I "get jealous over him" or if I get mad at her for doing that and say I don't like her. He thinks it's 'hot' that he gets 'fought over' by me or something. I don't get it. Btw, we're in our 20's. Link to post Share on other sites
Plokette Posted March 23, 2007 Share Posted March 23, 2007 Flirting is ok. Repetitive flirting between two people hints at more. repetitive flirting and online contact with exclusion of the partner should be seen as a relationship until proven otherwise. open your eyes and smell the roses. Link to post Share on other sites
Fiona Posted March 23, 2007 Share Posted March 23, 2007 The Bobbitt thing, makes HIM famous and you end up in jail. Flirting? The last time I flirted, I got pregnant. I just never know when to stop. Link to post Share on other sites
wamulover Posted March 23, 2007 Share Posted March 23, 2007 Who the heck are you to say that? Throw him out the door and all his clothes out the window! Girlfriend, you are crazy! If he cheated on me I wouldn't throw him out. I'd get a lawyer and take half. Yeah! Link to post Share on other sites
Fiona Posted March 23, 2007 Share Posted March 23, 2007 Girlfriend, you are crazy! If he cheated on me I wouldn't throw him out. I'd get a lawyer and take half. Yeah! If she has his clothes, she's already got half Better to go for a pound of flesh. Link to post Share on other sites
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