I'm being replaced

[polywog]

Thanks Ripples, for your kind words.

 

Actually, in one of the posts I mentioned that I found out "the new girl" is out of the picture. I guess. She has left town for a few months, he mentioned to me. And he does not love her, he also said. However her stuff is in the garage, maybe just being stored or maybe he harbors hopes of her moving in with his roomates he plans on getting. Whatever. At least her moving in is not breathing down my poor back. And from what I know of her she is no prize anyway.

 

When I do actually find a permanent home I shall host an LS cyber-party. I'll provide great cyber-snacks and have a full cyber-bar, with plenty mock-tails for the sober LSers. I will even be discreet about the bedroom, as I would imagine there will be some cyber-hookups going on between a few of the LSers who attend, which I'm sure we'll have to read all about on the next day's posts

[Ripples]

Oooo, bugger, sorry Polywog, I skipped through the posts - too eager to get my 2p worth in.

 

Good stuff on the cyber party, now organise something for real people; because you know we're all just made up here, right?

[polywog]

Good stuff on the cyber party, now organise something for real people; because you know we're all just made up here, right?

 

Yeah, but I won't have to clean up after a cyber-party!

[Ripples]

Oh! You're one step ahead. V. good

 

Seriously though (and to keep it on topic), it's really hard, but making plans that don't include him and are designed solely to give you something is a really good way of moving on and coping. Justagirlforever's got some pretty good ideas of what to do.

[marlena]

For my "revenge", I guess my hope is that my absence will be enough.

 

As indeed it will be, rest be assured! We are all in the end called upon to make an evaluation of our lives...one day he will reckon with what he has done ... but then, as so often is the case, it will be too late..and he will have to live with the consequences of his actions. As we all ultimately have to do!! And yes, your absence will one day become unbearable to him and he will have to learn to live with taht void ...of that I am absolutely sure!!! Like I said what goes round comes round and without wanting to assign any religious conotation to what I am about to say..we all pay in the end, one way or another..maybe one day I'll tell you my story about my ex husband!!! YOU WILL SUSTAIN..

[dropdeadlegs]

Gee, I've been lurking for days, wishing for the right words to comfort you. I still don't have them, but can't keep from saying something, anything just to show that I care.

 

This whole thing just sucks. Since I can't comfort, I'll co-miserate today. I'm sad for you, polywog, I really am. I want to shake him and make him see that what he is doing is wrong!

[AHIWON]

I'm here for emotional support too but not sure what to say.

 

If you want to revisit the revenge thing again then I just remembered one of the worsed smells I have ever encountered. Rotten cabbage. I was helping a friend clean out his shed one time and we discovered a bag of rotten cabbage. It had gone to a liquid and wow did it smell really bad. Every one of us got sick once the bag was disturbed. The only thing worse I have ever encountered was a dead whale washed up on the beach. Go for the bag of rotten cabbage, way easier to deal with than dead whales.

[polywog]

Gee, I've been lurking for days, wishing for the right words to comfort you. I still don't have them, but can't keep from saying something, anything just to show that I care.

 

This whole thing just sucks. Since I can't comfort, I'll co-miserate today. I'm sad for you, polywog, I really am. I want to shake him and make him see that what he is doing is wrong!

 

Hi DDL,

I've felt you lurking!

 

There's not much anyone can say, at this point! I am just in that place where I have got to get through to the other side, but am not there yet. That place where we're on our own.

 

I worry about taxing the LSers with my venting and pain-posts, making them feel like they've gotta comfort me, but I know there's not much anyone can do, aside from soulful lurking or nice "hang in there posts", which do help me.

 

I guess it just helps to post right now, knowing that sympathetic souls are reading them, even if there's nothing to say. I can't wait to NOT post about this crap anymore!!! That time will come, soon I hope!

[polywog]

I'm here for emotional support too but not sure what to say.

 

If you want to revisit the revenge thing again then I just remembered one of the worsed smells I have ever encountered. Rotten cabbage. I was helping a friend clean out his shed one time and we discovered a bag of rotten cabbage. It had gone to a liquid and wow did it smell really bad. Every one of us got sick once the bag was disturbed. The only thing worse I have ever encountered was a dead whale washed up on the beach. Go for the bag of rotten cabbage, way easier to deal with than dead whales.

 

Dead whales!!! I live on the seashore and have encountered my share of dead whales and dolphins (or chunks of them), and man, it's the worst, worst smell ever. My dog loves to roll on their rotting flesh and it's almost impossible to get the smell off!

[AHIWON]

There you go, just before taking the dog back to the x for his part of the custody, take the dog for a walk on the beach. May as well get the x used to what is comming up!

[RecordProducer]

It gave me a picture that she's thinner than me, probably the reason the SO is with her, and also that he obviously plans to have her move in. I heard he started seeing her right after he broke up with me, BTW.

 

Well, geez, it's just such a blow. I made this place a wonderful home for us, and now some other lover is just waiting for my stuff to be gone so she can move in. I don't blame her, or even him because he's moving on, but what an awful discovery, that I can just be repalced here in his life and home that I made for us. After less than 3 months.

Are you sure he met her 3 months ago? Just when you broke up? I suspect that he's been dating her for much longer than that. Also the reason he gave you for a break-up is completely ridiculous and obviously not the right reason. He just spilled the first thing that came into his mind. Nobody breaks up because someone has 3 lbs over the ideal weight!

 

Revenge ideas:

 

1. Stain her panties brown on the part where the ass goes.

2. Wear socks for 3 days in snickers and put them in her suitcase.

3. Put some sauce that contains a lot of garlic in her perfume.

4. The winter is over so she won't be wearing her boots anymore - put poop in them so they stink; she will store them somewhere and have no clue why they stink;

5. Make the buttons of her shirt or coat or jeans loose;

6. Tear all of her pantyhause;

7. Put a shampoo against lice in her suitcase - hopefully your exs will see it.

8. Put a few condoms in the bedroom trash can with some yogurt in it so that your ex thinks you had wild sex with some stud in HIS bedroom.

9. Send an email from his account to another girl (and "acidently" put his new GF in the "cc" so she gets the email as well). The content should be something like: "I can't wait to eat your pussy and suck your boobies. Maybe this weekedn I can pretend I am going to buy some stuff for the PC (something that he usually does!) and have an hour for you?"

 

or:

 

"Hi Patty.. when your son goes back to university, give me a call so we can arrange something. Please pay me for the last two times (don't forget the extra for the anal without a condom). Tips are well appreciated.

 

P.S. I totaly support your weight-losing program. 280 lbs is not healthy for a sexy lady like you.

 

By the way, do you mind if I go out with your daughter?"

 

 

I live on the seashore

What more do you want in life?

[stace79]

You guys are great! Can you all move to Orlando to form a support group?? haha

 

I have a mind to bring my 138 lb. fat a$$ over there and sit on him until he submits.

 

Make sure you take something valuable of his with you when you go. Assuming he has anything of value.

 

I hope skinny girl has some furniture....not!

 

I just love my polywog!

[dropdeadlegs]

Hi DDL,

I've felt you lurking!

 

There's not much anyone can say, at this point! I am just in that place where I have got to get through to the other side, but am not there yet. That place where we're on our own.

 

I worry about taxing the LSers with my venting and pain-posts, making them feel like they've gotta comfort me, but I know there's not much anyone can do, aside from soulful lurking or nice "hang in there posts", which do help me.

 

I guess it just helps to post right now, knowing that sympathetic souls are reading them, even if there's nothing to say. I can't wait to NOT post about this crap anymore!!! That time will come, soon I hope!

Hi polywog.

 

I'm glad you felt my presence.

 

I don't feel taxed at all. I am too empathic at times, but I wouldn't change that if I could. Empathy is one of my best traits and makes me who I am.

 

Please feel free to vent and absolve yourself of the pain. I would much more enjoy being able to hug you, and share wine. But LS is what we have and I believe that is almost as good.

 

I just know that you are going to be fine, much in the way that my personal friends always see that within me. It will take time, likely to the point of having the place that is truly yours. I'll be here to share that time with you, too.

 

I've used too many smileys at this point and feel I should stop.

[polywog]

RP, AHIWON,

 

:lmao: :lmao:

 

The revenge....letting the dog roll on dead whales & returning him to the ex:D

 

RP, your ideas made me almost pee my pants, well, I did pee my pants, and put them in the girl's luggage after making a fudgy-fart stain, and pooping in her boot. :lmao:

 

DDL, you're a pal, one of these days that bottle of wine shall be drunk in a toast to all the crap (except for the stuff in her boot) being over!

 

luv u all:love: :love:

[RecordProducer]

I I would much more enjoy being able to hug you, and share wine.

Polywog, I think she's hittin' on ya. I wouldn't let he get me drunk.

 

I've used too many smileys at this point and feel I should stop.

You know how your cheeks start hurting you when you smile too much?

RP, your ideas made me almost pee my pants,

I'll try to think of some more.

[magichands]

You know how your cheeks start hurting you when you smile too much?

Is that why they call it laughing your arse off?

[underpants]

Okay,

 

Here is what you could do. Find a very cute man (really this is relative, maybe just a taller man). Have him conviently over to help you pack or whatever when the ex is to show up. Play it cool and offer no introductions. Will this do anything, probably not but it will give him a taste of his own medicine.

 

I had a line of men (okay 2 or 3) who wanted to 'pose' for me but I wouldn't do it because it seemed gameish, but you know, it just might be what he deserves. Of course I am a year out and not so emotionally invested any longer but that jealously stuff works. Sad but true, and it is sure a whole lot more 'classy?' then pooping in someone's garments. Anyway what he has done is a dealbreaker, it's over anyway, give him hell.

 

Best of luck, it sounds as though you dodged a bullet. It's always good to know the true character of someone sooner then later.

 

Best regards,

Unders

[polywog]

Keep sending the revenge ideas, I may not use'em but they are making endorphins flood my brain evertime I laugh!

 

Just FYI, I don't think the the ex was seeing anyone else before the split. He really is not a guy who would do that, and the girl was someone he started seeing after the break-up. This I know from his best friend. He was probably interested in seeing her or others, but didn't commence 'til after the dump. He never goes anywhere, and the break up got him socializing so I doubt if he'd have been able to meet anyone else anyway 'til this forced him (or motivated, or freed him) to go out.

 

OK, here's a "dear diary"part of my post. I expect that I shall be posting this way for a while now, so bear with me. It really does help me to write stuff here.

 

Yesterday was really beautiful. I did a bunch of practical stuff all morning and had some great phone talks with friends and in the afternoon decided to treat myself and Leo the dog to a walk, something I haven't done in ages but is what I usually do in normal life. I hopped in the car and just drove out of town, and decided to visit a beach I haven't been to in a long time.

 

There's a beautiful walk next to a salt marsh that leads to the beach. There were loads of waterfowl and fiddler crabs, it was gorgeous and Leo was in heaven becasue we haven't done this in ages and the ex never takes him on walks like this.

 

We rounded the dune over to the beach and as I stopped to look at the water, I just surprisingly welled up and had my first real big cry. I have mentioned in other posts that I don't cry easily and that unbelievably, in spite of all this grief over 3 months, I haven't really cried yet.

 

Well everytime my eyes met the sight of the ocean, I just cried more and more, as if the ocean was coaxing me. Why this happened, I can't explain. I just plopped down on the sand and cried my eyes out, while the wet dog kept leaning on me, and trying to get me to throw stuff he kept dragging over.

 

It just felt like the world or nature or even a god was telling me I would be OK, that what happened was awful, and it was safe to grieve and let loose. It was profound and comforting.

 

I'm so grateful that happened because I felt stronger afterwards. Not less sad, but more healed.

 

[justagirlforever]

 

OK, here's a "dear diary"part of my post. I expect that I shall be posting this way for a while now, so bear with me. It really does help me to write stuff here.

 

That's more or less the only reason for my first two threads on LS. A bit of a "dear diary" to myself

I do also keep a journal (a beautiful leatherbound book) - but only write in there every other month or so.

But during that breakup time, there was just too much for me to actually write down. I tried but my hand was getting too sore. And I can type a lot faster than I can write.

And then I realised there are some cool people around here on LS and I kept coming back - even though life is hanky dory now. Actually better than it's been in many many many years.

Anyway....

 

It certainly sounds like you have your head together. Even if your heart is still broken. Congrats on the new place btw. It's such a great feeling isn't it (even though it also hurts at the same time)? Well it was for me. Despite not having a bed for 2 whole months and slept between the floor and an air mattress.

And I too finally have my house sorted (my sofa arrived just the week before last).

My kitty is also split between me and my ex. He's mine really but my ex loves him and the cat (in reality) loves him more than he does me (traitor!) so I send him over for visits on weekends. Madness huh?

 

But I can say though, the luxury of time is just astounding. And the best thing to help me, was doing all those things I've wanted to do for so long. But never did. I don't know about you, but running a household (my own free choice) took up all my time. Plus my full time job and the ex's company books and paperwork. Now I only have me, myself and I - and tons of time! Or not anymore as the case may be - because I've started to do so many things. And I love it.

So if you find yourself in the same position, go out and do things!

[polywog]

Thanks justagirl for the kind words. Yes, I have always wanted to learn to kayak and since I live by a beautiful harbor that will be one of the treats I will reward myself with a kayak of my own (the ex & I share one, but I don't want to use it & never did anyway).

 

I finally called a lawyer today. Many of you have been encouraging me to do this. What lit the fire under my butt is that I overheard him talking to his book-keeper friend yesterday (she was also supposedly my friend...but NOT). He is selling his cab company today. $$$.

 

I had no knowledge that he planned to do this. They saw me enter the house, and when they thought I was out of earshot they began to discuss it in hushed tones, obviously trying to hide it from me. How f**ked up. This is the same "friend" I mentioned on an earlier post who thought he'd been "Extremely generous" in letting me stay in the house for a few months after 8 years. Warped. Creeps from another, parallel, universe of human decency. God forbid that I should know and perhaps ask for some compensation. I did help him out with the business quite a bit.

 

Anyhow, I finally decided to call a local lawyer. She was great and sympathetic. But she let me know that under the law, if there are no written agreements or records (there aren't) I'm not really entitled to anything. This is a common occurance here, and a familiar story to her. She told me that I could spend lots of money and perhaps build a case, but I don't want to. She did not encourage it. I've decided to just move on and devote my energy to my new life, and its challenges.

 

After I have been out and NC (I'm not even going to take the dog for a few weeks after I move) and he has a chance to see what it's like to miss me, and I know he will on some level as I kept the home organised and made it easy for him to persue his business, then maybe I will approach him.

 

Ya live and Ya Learn.

[polywog]

....forgot to mention that there was a large, dead, rotted, mutiliated-by-seagulls dolphin on the beach! But the dog did not even care , so I missed my chance for the smelly dead dolphin revenge scheme. Next time.

 

There's a severely injured right whale swimming around here (documented by scientists & in the local news) I hope it doesn't die , but if it does, may my dog roll in its rotten corpse.

[Art_Critic]

Anyhow, I finally decided to call a local lawyer.

 

I've decided to just move on and devote my energy to my new life, and its challenges.

 

I'm glad you did.... you needed too..

Hugs......

[polywog]

I'm glad you did.... you needed too..

Hugs......

 

Hi Art,

 

Yes, it might have been a bit fruitless, but at least now I know. I thought of you as I dialed her number, in fact! It was sort of empowering, and she was very kind and understanding...which meant a lot.

 

Life goes on....

[polywog]

OK, just a few minutes ago the phone rang and a message was left. I went downstairs to check it. It was the book keeper/false-friend mentioned on earlier posts calling to summon the ex to meet with the guy who wants to buy his cab company. I think they are supposed to be doing this transaction as I write.

 

The ex is sleeping. He's been doing that a lot during usual waking hours lately. I am ashamed to say that after I listened to the message, I deleted it.

I am a petty, vengeful c**t. But for some reason, I just did it. I am not as big a person as I thought I was. Mea Culpa. Just had to post this shameful act of mine.

[Art_Critic]

Yes, it might have been a bit fruitless, but at least now I know. I thought of you as I dialed her number, in fact! It was sort of empowering, and she was very kind and understanding...which meant a lot.

 

It wasn't fruitless... it did bear fruit..it is all part of taking care of yourself and looking out for number 1...

 

you gained by placing the call....you are taking the power he had over you back...