moredeborah Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 Hello. My boyfriend of 1.5 years and I are having an arguement that has lasted 3 days now and I want to know other's opinions. Now, both of us are attractive and on the vain side. Having said that, I spend a lot of time primping... doing my makeup and my hair (I have long hair so it takes awhile...) anyway it can take 30 mins-1 hour if I felt like it to look as perfect as I want to be. But I choose not to do that on a daily basis because it's too exhausting and for the most part, I guess I don't really care that much. I only really get all dolled up if I'm going out. My boyfriend hates that. He thinks that I should be dolled up at home as well. He thinks that it's shallow and he gets jealous when I only get pretty for people I don't even know but be super casual at home. And I explained to him that it's a lot of work to get all pretty and I just want to be comfortable when I get home. I work at a very professional place and I already spend time in the morning getting ready. Anyway, he reminded me that he works somewhere where the girls are all superperfect and dolled up (he works for a designer) and in his opinion they aren't even as pretty as me and then he goes home and sees me in sweats 90% of the time. Well, we have come to the consensus that's pretty much a balance, but I'm not happy about it. I honestly feel like I'm going to resent him (I told him this, but his basic response was that I need to get over it) if after a long day at work I have to get pretty. Any thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 Tell him those dolled-up girls at work also spend 90% of their time at home in sweats. If he went home to them all the time, he'd see them without hair and make-up and he'd complain they only get dolled up for work and to go out. You might also consider yoga pants instead of sweats. They are super comfortable, and they have a real nice shape to them (usually boot cut, lower waist and hug your butt), and come in lots of colors. It might be enough of a step up that he can appreciate your assets while you are still comfortable. Link to post Share on other sites
Author moredeborah Posted March 22, 2007 Author Share Posted March 22, 2007 Tell him those dolled-up girls at work also spend 90% of their time at home in sweats. If he went home to them all the time, he'd see them without hair and make-up and he'd complain they only get dolled up for work and to go out. You might also consider yoga pants instead of sweats. They are super comfortable, and they have a real nice shape to them (usually boot cut, lower waist and hug your butt), and come in lots of colors. It might be enough of a step up that he can appreciate your assets while you are still comfortable. I told him that! And then he again brought up the fact that I only get dressed up to go out and that's not fair to him.... ugh I just surrendered that battle really. Oh, and thank you so much for the Yoga pant advice. I actually have those (hehe!). Link to post Share on other sites
radionovice9696 Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 my feelings are..your NOT there to play dress up 24/7...maybe some HOT outfits in the evening...but this is his drama about u dressing up all the time...tell him to take a hike...relatioships are a balancing act...does the good outweigh the bad... Link to post Share on other sites
nicki Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 Tell him, "Yeah, I know what you mean. I work with so many hot guys in expensive suits. I'd really like to come home and see you wearing one while you are relaxing on the couch...and how about putting on a g-string for me and a bow tie around your neck....geesh, you never dress sexy for JUST me anymore. I'm really needing more here." Then storm into the bathroom and turn on your vibrator. Anyway, what is HE wearing around the house. I bet t-shirts and boxers, or an old pair of jeans. If you feel like you want to look cute and be comfortable at home, Nora had a great idea about the yoga pants. The gap body or Old Navy has great lounge wear (camisole tops, yoga-like bottoms.) When I'm at my boyfriend's place, I usually take a shower when I get home and change into something comfy. My boyfriend loves coming home to an apartment that smells of my girly lotions...so maybe appealing to his sense of smell will work. Really, though, he should like you look without makeup...and be "wowed" when you dress up to go out. He could look at it like you are dressing up for him, not others. Afterall, you only really care if your man thinks you're hot! Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 My boyfriend hates that. He thinks that I should be dolled up at home as well. He thinks that it's shallow and he gets jealous when I only get pretty for people I don't even know but be super casual at home. He is trying to control you. Tell him that if he don't like it, then he can hit the road. Link to post Share on other sites
EvilLaceyWinters Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 He is trying to control you. Tell him that if he don't like it, then he can hit the road. I don't think he is trying to control her. He probably wants her to look sexy when he comes home to spice the mood up for a sexy bedtime. Nothing wrong with that Link to post Share on other sites
radionovice9696 Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 whats the saying....mom during the day...one HELL of a w***e at night...i dont know call me crazy...one other questin...hows ur sex life... Link to post Share on other sites
nicki Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 Nothing says "sexy" like wearing a see-through man's white undershirt (armless to show off those shoulders, and braless to show off other things.) Wear one with a pair of his boxers. I've never known a man who didn't LOVE that little combo. Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 I told him that! And then he again brought up the fact that I only get dressed up to go out and that's not fair to him. omg, boo-friggin'-hoo! Whatever happened to giving the person you love *unconditional* love? If my guy gave me conditions for his happiness, I would kick him in the balls. Link to post Share on other sites
radionovice9696 Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 gr8 oral skills can turn any mans attention Link to post Share on other sites
Author moredeborah Posted March 22, 2007 Author Share Posted March 22, 2007 whats the saying....mom during the day...one HELL of a w***e at night...i dont know call me crazy...one other questin...hows ur sex life... Sex life is good. Lately it's been sparse but it's a medical reason on my part (which will be gone in 1 wee). But usually it's really good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author moredeborah Posted March 22, 2007 Author Share Posted March 22, 2007 I don't think he is trying to control her. He probably wants her to look sexy when he comes home to spice the mood up for a sexy bedtime. Nothing wrong with that Oh I agree. I don't mind getting pretty for that... I just can't do it ALL the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Swingwithyou71 Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 Oh I agree. I don't mind getting pretty for that... I just can't do it ALL the time. When he asks you to dress up, does he want you in nice clothes or something freaky? maybe there is something wrong with him? Maybe he has a fetish he has not told you about yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Author moredeborah Posted March 22, 2007 Author Share Posted March 22, 2007 When he asks you to dress up, does he want you in nice clothes or something freaky? maybe there is something wrong with him? Maybe he has a fetish he has not told you about yet. I'm positive it's not that. I know he wants a hot outfit, shaved legs, shaved (down there) perfect hair and makeup done. We've done some freaky stuff, but he's never really taken interest in fetish wear. Link to post Share on other sites
TheEvilEdge7 Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 Does he wear a suit or a tux while he's at home lounging? Granted, if he comes home, the same time every night and you looked exhausted and frumpy, it can get stale, as I'm sure you wouldn't want to come home the same time and see him in ripped underwear. Everyone needs a break. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted March 23, 2007 Share Posted March 23, 2007 Lately it's been sparse but it's a medical reason on my part (which will be gone in 1 wee). I wish I could piss my troubles away. But seriously... his insistence that beauty is really skin deep is a bit much. I love the idea of being appreciated even with my strange morning hair. Thinking that my partner thinks less of me because I'm not "perfect" is a lot more than annoying. Set the bunnies on him. Link to post Share on other sites
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