Professional photagrapher using me in a strange way! What does he want? Help!!!!

[Anna being lured into hell]

I went to see this professional photographer to get new portrait photos done a couple of weeks ago. We were talking while he took the photos and during the converstation I mentioned that I was a professional singer.

 

He got all excited and asked me if I wanted to come back later that night to do a jam session with him playing a sophisticated electronic keyboard. Since I had nothing on that night I said, "why not", so I went back and jammed with him for a few hours. It was interesting, but tiring because I'm not really a pop singer.

 

The next day he called me and told me he had recored the session and that there were some great things that had come out (I thought it was garbage music)and asked me if I wanted to come back to do it again. I told him I wanted to, but that I had financial problems and would appreciate a little pay. That was fine, so I came back, jammed and he paid me fifteen dollars.

 

After the session he made me some food, we talked and he told me I could make lots of money modelling if I lost a little weight because I had a nice body. It was true that I found him a bit attractive as well, but I didn't "show" any "signs".

 

The next week he went away on a photograph assignment in New York for a week, then called me back the same day he had gotten back to ask if I wanted to come down that night to do another jamming session. I was busy for the next two evenings, so I came a couple of days later.

 

Only this time, this singing really tired me out and I felt as if he was taking advantage of me because there would be moments when I would tell him I was tired and he would keep on playing the piano, or switch to another theme. I ended up staying there over three hours. At the end I was sure he was going to pay me more that time, but he only gave me another fifteen dollars!! I dryly hinted, "and how many hours was I here? The next time I'm going to have to get more businesslike".

 

He told me not to worry, that everything would be okay and that he'd "take care of me". I left feeling depleated, and wanted to cry because I felt I had been used again. (This man has LOTS of money!!!)

 

The next day he called me to tell me he wanted to use a segment he had recorded for film music and I would get payed twenty dollars. (What an insult)

 

I told him nicely that I really didn't have time to waste anymore and that I pay sixty dollars an hour for my own voice lessons (trying to hint to him that his pay doesn't even cover the cost of my lessons), but then he said, "You don't have to do this if you don't want to, it's just experimentation and practice and it opens other horizons for you"

 

I told him I didn't think I could come back anymore, but he tried to persuade me to return just to pick up a recording he had made for me on a cassette.

 

What does this guy want? It is really confusing. Is he only interested in using my voice, or is he attracted to me as well? How should I handle this situation? Refuse to do anymore jam sessions unless he pays me at least thirty dollars an hour? (I think I showed him I didn't value myself highly enough at first my asking so little) Is this guy a bit perverse? It is so dangerous because I feel he has power over me now.

[Caroline]

well

 

sounds a little strange...i think if he really thought you were good a singing he would have paid you more money to stay because he didn't want to let you go...sounds to me that he justs wants to see you and maybe have somebody sing with him....little bored maybe?...if he wanted something else i am sure he would have already done something by now...did you ever notice him look at you in a strange way or touch you???if not then i see no harm...but on the safe side,i would stay away...

I went to see this professional photographer to get new portrait photos done a couple of weeks ago. We were talking while he took the photos and during the converstation I mentioned that I was a professional singer. He got all excited and asked me if I wanted to come back later that night to do a jam session with him playing a sophisticated electronic keyboard. Since I had nothing on that night I said, "why not", so I went back and jammed with him for a few hours. It was interesting, but tiring because I'm not really a pop singer. The next day he called me and told me he had recored the session and that there were some great things that had come out (I thought it was garbage music)and asked me if I wanted to come back to do it again. I told him I wanted to, but that I had financial problems and would appreciate a little pay. That was fine, so I came back, jammed and he paid me fifteen dollars. After the session he made me some food, we talked and he told me I could make lots of money modelling if I lost a little weight because I had a nice body. It was true that I found him a bit attractive as well, but I didn't "show" any "signs". The next week he went away on a photograph assignment in New York for a week, then called me back the same day he had gotten back to ask if I wanted to come down that night to do another jamming session. I was busy for the next two evenings, so I came a couple of days later. Only this time, this singing really tired me out and I felt as if he was taking advantage of me because there would be moments when I would tell him I was tired and he would keep on playing the piano, or switch to another theme. I ended up staying there over three hours. At the end I was sure he was going to pay me more that time, but he only gave me another fifteen dollars!! I dryly hinted, "and how many hours was I here? The next time I'm going to have to get more businesslike". He told me not to worry, that everything would be okay and that he'd "take care of me". I left feeling depleated, and wanted to cry because I felt I had been used again. (This man has LOTS of money!!!) The next day he called me to tell me he wanted to use a segment he had recorded for film music and I would get payed twenty dollars. (What an insult) I told him nicely that I really didn't have time to waste anymore and that I pay sixty dollars an hour for my own voice lessons (trying to hint to him that his pay doesn't even cover the cost of my lessons), but then he said, "You don't have to do this if you don't want to, it's just experimentation and practice and it opens other horizons for you" I told him I didn't think I could come back anymore, but he tried to persuade me to return just to pick up a recording he had made for me on a cassette. What does this guy want? It is really confusing. Is he only interested in using my voice, or is he attracted to me as well? How should I handle this situation? Refuse to do anymore jam sessions unless he pays me at least thirty dollars an hour? (I think I showed him I didn't value myself highly enough at first my asking so little) Is this guy a bit perverse? It is so dangerous because I feel he has power over me now.

[Richie]

I would certainly stay away from him the moment i feel, he has power over me. Why do you allow him to continue the session when you are tired. He is manipulating you. What if he mixes something in your food and take some porno pictures? Anything could happen. Stay away. Or accompany with someone.

 

-Richie

[Anna responding]

well sounds a little strange...i think if he really thought you were good at singing he would have paid you more money to stay because he didn't want to let you go

 

I am a professional classical singer, and this is how I earn my living. I played him a CD I made which he wanted to copy, but I didn't leave it with him, so he KNOWS damn well that I am good at what I do. Actually, I don't think he has any idea what it takes to do the kind of singing I do as he's never been to the opera.

 

if he wanted

something else i am sure he would have already done something by now...did you ever notice him look at you in a strange way or touch you???

A couple of times he's massaged my shoulders and during the jamm sessions sometimes I get the impression this gives him some sort of weird satisfaction. He is just getting over a break-up with his girlfriend who was a model, and what annoyed me was that after a session that we did he played a recording that he had done previously with his ex-girlfriend reading poetry in Italian over his piano playing. He wanted me to translate what she was saying and I told him it was too difficult to translate. He also played me a recording that he had saved on his answering machine of a guy speaking in Italian to his ex-girlfriend (when she lived with him)on a message. He wanted me to tell him if I thought there had been anything intimate with the guy and his ex because he didn't understand Italian.

 

This happened the first time I came over. Now he tells me to forget about him ever having asked me to "spy" for him because he has gotten "over it".

 

He won't tell me his age (he says he likes to forget age)but I imagine he is between 45 and 50. His ex was 23 and I am a few years older than her.

 

I just don't know what's on his mind or if he just wants me there to play the role of a listner while he talks about his past. I just don't get it, but he is certainly harmless in the sense that he wouldn't rape me. He is more dangereious in a psychological manner. Right?

 

Should I confront him and ask him what he really wants from me or just stay away??

[Richie]

"He is more dangereious in a psychological manner"

 

You have understood that something is wrong. Then why do you want to confront him or ask him? What is your gain? After all these things, i don't know why you want to keep in touch with him. I don't understand, when you said "she massaged my shoulders". Is your boyfriend or your husband? Why do you allow a stranger to massage you? Then why do you even consider translating the italian message? Don't do anything which you don't like to do. If he makes you to do which you don't like, he has got the control over you. something is seriously wrong.

 

I would stay away from people who are weird or unfathomable. If you still want to stay in touch, don't allow him to touch. Be very assertive and professional. Fix the rate whatever you like. When the time is over, just get off regardless of him playing the piano. Don't have unnecessary chat which is not related with your business. Translating his ex.girl friend song is not your business. If he urges you, fix the rate for that too. You don't beg him. Right? Then why do you allow him to make you to continue singing?

 

Take care,

 

Richie