Children sexually abusing adults

[Kit666]

There's this nine year old girl that I used to babysit for not too long ago when I was 19 years old. Things were fine with some struggle with some nonsexual behavioral issues, like her not listening to some of my commands to go to bed. However, after about two weeks, I saw her being sexually suggestive (like pointing to her crotch and flicking her tongue in signal for me to go down on her) and then quickly progressed to blatant interactive action. She would often try to grab at her grandfather's crotch and would succeed and laugh while he was watching television, and as usual her grandfather would scowl at her and be set in an awkward situation where he loves his granddaughter but consistently pushes her away. When I sitting for her, she'd make sexual remarks about me and also try to grab my crotch (I'm female) and succeeded in fondling my breasts. The girl's been through child therapy, but is only improving by the slightest margin and slips back. She's very, very, very stubborn. I don't know where she got it from, but her parents and family seem "normal" for the lack of a better word and seem to always try to discipline and help her out. I'm assuming it's not one or more of them as I don't have any evidence (but who knows). Nothing in the household environment changed noticeably to me during that duration and her sexual behavior may be from before I met her.

 

Has anyone had children initiating sexual activity with them (assuming you're the much older party or relative to adult age)?

[hotgurl]

the only reason I can think of her doing this is that she is being sexually abused and is mimiking the behavior.

[Trialbyfire]

the only reason I can think of her doing this is that she is being sexually abused and is mimiking the behavior.

Exactly my thoughts. Normal looking families aren't always what they seem.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

This child has been sexually abused!!! There is no doubt. Good God, I will never understand how someone can be sick enough to do this to a child. I cannot imagine how her parents consider THIS normal behaviour? Self touching yes, curiosity yes, but blatantly trying to entice adults into sexual situations??? I hope SOMEONE cares enough to get this child help.

[EC]

hmm..

 

I have a couple of friends who were abused as children and The majority of the abusers were either the grandfather or the uncle. Weird because you said she grabbed his crotch all the time?

 

But I agree that children mimick behavior so someone is obviously doing this to her which is sick Or maybe she saw it on tv?

My cousin was 8 and wanted to kiss girls because she saw it on t.v.

 

You never know. I feel bad for her though/

[Art_Critic]

There is no doubt.

 

I wouldn't say there is no doubt.. while children do mimic their surroundings it is very possible that she watched a porno or at the very least a rated R movie or has seen been watching someone have sex.. maybe her parents.

She also might have seen quite a bit of it and not just once.

 

It is odd that the GP just brushes her off and scowls at her though..

 

I think you are right that no matter what has happened whether it be sexual abuse or just plain improper viewing of adult content that the child needs to get some help..

A child isn't capable of processing info like an adult and she isn't emotionally ready for sexual issues yet.

[EC]

I wouldn't say there is no doubt.. while children do mimic their surroundings it is very possible that she watched a porno or at the very least a rated R movie or has seen been watching someone have sex.. maybe her parents.

She also might have seen quite a bit of it and not just once.

 

It is odd that the GP just brushes her off and scowls at her though..

 

I think you are right that no matter what has happened whether it be sexual abuse or just plain improper viewing of adult content that the child needs to get some help..

A child isn't capable of processing info like an adult and she isn't emotionally ready for sexual issues yet.

 

Funny you say that AC..That happened to my bf at the age of 8..by family memebers..more than once..And I always said that being introduced to that at such a young age does have an effect. But he says it has not affected him at all? Thats he is over it? But w/e I guess thats a whole other thread lol

[laRubiaBonita]

My concern is that this child gets away with these behaviors. Did you say anything to reprimand her?

 

Also, I teach swim lessons to kids, and I have been groped on numerous occasions, been kissed after, mostly by little boys, but there are the little girls that do it too. Then they look right at you to see what kind of reaction they will get.

 

It has never crossed my mind that any of these kids may have been abused, I just think they are testing the waters.

 

I think kids pick it up from other kids, TV, movies, etc…. Not always from Abusive pasts.

[Kit666]

Yes, I have told her to not only stop but explain to her that it's something that she shouldn't do that at her youth or suffer the consequences (and that's her parents' issue) and would either try to engage her in activities like her favorite board game and keep everything that is the least bit sexual or romantic out of view (or try but she insists on TV and they have daytime clothing commericials on regular TV programs that display some of what she interprets as sexuality). Like I said, she's in child therapy, and her parents are disiplining her (at least while I'm there).

 

I do agree that it doesn't have to be sexual abuse by other people that caused her behaviors; it may be the media or other kids or catching other couples in sexual acts.

[jmargel]

Kit.. this is advice I got from a psychologist when we thought our niece was being sexually abused.

 

Next time this child does this, ask her if any of her family or friends play any sort of 'touching games with her'. See what her reaction is. If she doesn't want to answer, don't pressure her. We were told by the psychologist that if she doesn't answer to wait a few weeks and ask again. Let her know that you are there as a friend and that anything she says to you will not get her into trouble.

 

It's her way of asking for help. Does she grab her father's crotch or any other males? If not, then I would suspect maybe the grandfather might be in on something.

[Green]

My concern is that this child gets away with these behaviors. Did you say anything to reprimand her?

 

Also, I teach swim lessons to kids, and I have been groped on numerous occasions, been kissed after, mostly by little boys, but there are the little girls that do it too. Then they look right at you to see what kind of reaction they will get.

 

It has never crossed my mind that any of these kids may have been abused, I just think they are testing the waters.

 

I think kids pick it up from other kids, TV, movies, etc…. Not always from Abusive pasts.

 

I really agreed with alot of what this post said. Heck I was never sexualy abused and I remember enjoying getting a peak at the forbiden fruits or going for a grab of a womans boobs. It was never anything sexual for me as a kid I just walked around holding my thing like it would fall off it I didnt. Than again go with your gut instict if you think shes being sexualy abused go report it, or check out the credentials of her psychiatrist if you have been given his name, I mean if he's a real proffesional Im sure he'll report it to the police if he determines grandpa is a child molester...

[lei66]

It has never crossed my mind that any of these kids may have been abused, I just think they are testing the waters.

 

 

 

 

 

I think kids pick it up from other kids, TV, movies, etc…. Not always from Abusive pasts

You cannot actually believe that this is from TV....or a movie other than porn....I have never seen this behavior from any child.... ITS WEIRD....It's not testing the waters...I have never ever seen a kid act like this....and to act to this way with adults??? Come on.....

She would often try to grab at her grandfather's crotch and would succeed and laugh while he was watching television

I don't care how much TV she's watching....

I saw her being sexually suggestive (like pointing to her crotch and flicking her tongue in signal for me to go down on her) and then quickly progressed to blatant interactive action.

This is not normal behavoir for I child that has watched some inappropriate shows on TV....

.

When I sitting for her, she'd make sexual remarks about me and also try to grab my crotch (I'm female) and succeeded in fondling my breasts.

IMO anybody that has really read this post and thought about these actions that this child is demonstrating....could not say that this is caused by TV....it is not normal...and if you say it is or minimize it to being caused by TV it would make me wonder what kind of person you are....

You definately should report this....This is not right....

[chryssy83]

Based on years of experience working with low income and disadvantaged kids, I think that there is a strong possibility the kid is being/has been abused and it would be worth asking her about it. Also talk to her family about it and if they don't pursue it hotline the situation. Better safe than sorry.

[whichwayisup]

I agree with Chryssy and I was just going to say the exact same thing. Something is going on with her, she's acting out aggressively in a sexual way.

She's more than likely been sexually abused, touched inappropriately.

 

Afew years ago a friend of mine did some volunteer work at a charity for under priviledged families, and she told me one of the families had a little girl who was sexually abused by her uncle. She acted out, more or less the same way you're describing in your post.

 

Good luck and I hope the child gets the help she needs!

[curly1]

I had a younger sister who, at about the age of 8, was trying to french kiss my step father. While in a joint therapy session with my mother, I mentioned this. My mother (in her infinite denial) replied that she was just repeating actions seen on TV. Both therapists in the room gave a resounding "NOOOOOO". They said that children do not repeat what they see other adults doing. They repeat what they see other children doing. If 2 adults are making out or having sex on TV, the children see that as an adult act and don't tend to repeat it.

 

Just thought I would share that, for what it is worth. Please call the hotline. Worst case scenario - nothing is happening and an investigation shows that. I wish someone would have cared enough to call a hotline for me when I was a child. People suspected...no one bothered to act. Don't make that mistake.

[Art_Critic]

They said that children do not repeat what they see other adults doing.

 

I'm going to disagree with you on this Curly..

Our children are watching and learning from us every day. They watch how we talk, how we eat, how we react to situations and how we relate to others.

 

Children learn period.. they don't discriminate what they learn or from whom.

and they most certainly do not have the emotional maturity to deal with sexual situations that they may have learned about from whatever source.

 

I do agree that it bears looking into to find out why this child did this thru some sort of child therapy or a few sessions with a counselor that is trained in this type of thing.

[Topper]

The OP did say the child was in therapy. I'm sure the Therapist is well aware of this child's behavior. If there was or is on going child abuse it would have already been reported by the Therapist. from what i have read here I can't automatically say that she was abused I for sure can't dismiss that possibility either.

I do Know that some kids become very sexual at a young age. This girls behavior is way more then what would be considered in the normal range of experimentation.

If you could get the name of the girls therapist, it might help you as her baby sitter to get a better understanding of how to deal with her sexual advances toward you.

[curly1]

I don't disagree that they learn. The absorb everything in their environment. What the shrink explained to my mother is that if a child sees an act between 2 adults, they are not likely to repeat it with an adult. Perhaps with someone on their own level (another child)....but not with an adult. They see that it is an act between two grown ups, not a grown up and a child. If they want to "play" grown up, they do so with other kids. They don't go to Daddy or Grandpa to try out the new cool thing they saw on TV. I am not a psychologist...just passing along the info from what they explained to me, and I may not have articulated it very well the first time around.

[Art_Critic]

I don't disagree that they learn. The absorb everything in their environment. What the shrink explained to my mother is that if a child sees an act between 2 adults, they are not likely to repeat it with an adult. Perhaps with someone on their own level (another child)....but not with an adult. They see that it is an act between two grown ups, not a grown up and a child. If they want to "play" grown up, they do so with other kids. They don't go to Daddy or Grandpa to try out the new cool thing they saw on TV. I am not a psychologist...just passing along the info from what they explained to me, and I may not have articulated it very well the first time around.

 

I have seen children kiss other kids because their parents kiss each other..

I have seen children hump other kids because they saw their parents having sex.

 

I can't see a basis for that particular therapist to say that a child doesn't repeat adult-adult behavior..

A child repeats swear words that he/she hears adults say to other adults.

 

I could go on..

 

Children do mimic adult-adult behavior.. maybe in the situation your family therapist was involved in warranted that kind on discriminating learning..

[Topper]

Out of the millions of years of human evolution and history, family groups shared the same sleeping area. Kids would often see and hear good old Mom and dad having sex. It still goes on today in less affluent parts of the world. It might only be in the Last 100 years or so that children have been regulated out of the Adults bedroom.

No matter what This kid we are talking about seems to have some extreme form of behavior mimicking adult sex acts.

[curly1]

I have seen children kiss other kids because their parents kiss each other..

I have seen children hump other kids because they saw their parents having sex.

 

I can't see a basis for that particular therapist to say that a child doesn't repeat adult-adult behavior..

A child repeats swear words that he/she hears adults say to other adults.

 

I could go on..

 

Children do mimic adult-adult behavior.. maybe in the situation your family therapist was involved in warranted that kind on discriminating learning..

 

I think you are misreading my post. What I was saying is that kids don't repeat those behaviors on adults. They may repeat them with their peers, as you have noted. A child may hump another child because they see sex on TV. However, they don't typically try to hump an adult.

[Green]

ah this old thread pops up again. If I were a baby sitter and I saw some young girl try to make out with her granpa or grab his junk it would disturb me. It wouldnt nescisarily mean the kid is being abused but I probably would go and report it anonymously and stop going to that house... end of story. Personaly I did alot of weird **** as a kid and I was never abused I used to remember enjoying to bronsky my face in womens tits when ever I got the chance very easy to get away with when ur a kid by the way.

[MrsHellFire]

Turn the family into the Department of Child and Family Services or whatever they are called now of days. Honestly, they try to reprimand and punish HER for this behavior? What are they? Nuts and idiotic? She's being sexually abused- I have little doubt. There is nothing wrong with reporting your suspicions to the department. They will investigate and see if there is reason to believe she is being harmed.

[MrsHellFire]

 

I do agree that it doesn't have to be sexual abuse by other people that caused her behaviors; it may be the media or other kids or catching other couples in sexual acts.

 

 

No way.. trust me.. SEEING sexually explicit episodes on tv or in real life is a LOT different than being SEXUALLY ABUSED. I once saw my mom having sex with a man as a child and never pulled any of that sick behavior. Much less with FAMILY MEMBERS! There is something screwy going on most definitely! Someone is treating her more like a sex object than a daughter or granddaughter for her to react in the ways she does. Two completely different things between catching someone having sex and actually being abused by family members!