Hmm, what's my ex up to?

[CaliGuy]

I was just looking at the logs from my web site and noticed my ex had visited my site some 15 times in January and 20 times in February. Only 5 times so far this month so it appears to be slowing down (GOOD!)

 

I have no plans to contact her - I just think it's odd that she got engaged this past December and for the next two months she pretty much stalked me on my web site. I figure if she wanted to talk she would contact me.

 

The funny thing about the visits is several times she visited exactly 12 hours apart. She's just eccentric like that. I personally think she wanted me to know she was there.

 

The good part is I have maintained NC with her for about 6 months now. Life is good, and I am not bothered by this. Just curious more than anything else. My guess is she was having some doubts about her decision but now has come to peace with it.

 

Either way, NC from me. Life's going to good right now to mess it up by going backwards.

 

How's everyone doing, BTW!?

[RecordProducer]

When did you break up with your ex and why? Is it possible that she wants you back?

[2ndIINone]

I personally think she wanted me to know she was there.

 

would she have any reason to believe that you WOULD know she was there? Tracking logs?

[CaliGuy]

When did you break up with your ex and why? Is it possible that she wants you back?

 

Over a year ago. 15 months to be exact. Like I said, she just got engaged during Christmas time and then right after that she seems to have made a lot of visits to the web site. I know in detail where she went and what she looked at. At first she was looking at photos of me but then she would regularly read the blog.

 

I suspect that she was just having some doubts about making the right decision and since the web sites visits have halted I think she came to grips with it. At least, that is my guess. I mean most people do not spend that much time on an ex's web site unless they are thinking about them a lot.

 

would she have any reason to believe that you WOULD know she was there? Tracking logs?

 

I think she may know that I am savvy enough with a PC to figure out it's her but I don't know for sure. Either way, she did not make any attempts at contacting me so I am going to assume it was just a phase.

 

I just thought some people here may have a clue why an ex would literally spend so much time on your web site if they weren't thinking about you or having second thoughts about the person they just got engaged to.

[2ndIINone]

I think she may know that I am savvy enough with a PC to figure out it's her but I don't know for sure.

 

I happen to be a lil' savvy myself. I can honestly relate to what you're saying.

 

Why is she there??? Hmmm... well, IF she knows you can 'tell' she's been on your site... then she's definately doing it to 'get your mind goin'

Some women are E-V-I-L.

 

Now, if she doesn't know you can tell she's been on your site.... then the answer is somewhat clear. She's thinkin' about you. Wonderin'...

Think about it.... you cut her off... you moved on....sorta/kinda... you haven't acknowledged her existence in some time, right? Sooo she's snooping around.

Still E-V-I-L... hahaha

[CaliGuy]

I happen to be a lil' savvy myself. I can honestly relate to what you're saying.

 

Why is she there??? Hmmm... well, IF she knows you can 'tell' she's been on your site... then she's definately doing it to 'get your mind goin'

Some women are E-V-I-L.

 

Now, if she doesn't know you can tell she's been on your site.... then the answer is somewhat clear. She's thinkin' about you. Wonderin'...

Think about it.... you cut her off... you moved on....sorta/kinda... you haven't acknowledged her existence in some time, right? Sooo she's snooping around.

Still E-V-I-L... hahaha

 

Agreed. However, I did happen to see her last Sunday. We were like two ships passing in the night. I said nothing to her, she said nothing to me. Then she went back to the site on Weds. Looked at some pics and read the blog.

 

That's it for now. I am going to assume, rightly so, that it was nothing. I was wondering if there were some women here in a similar situation. Dumped someone, got engaged then had regrets and started visiting an ex's web site to see what they are up to.

 

I'm wondering if there is a hidden meaning to all this or if I am just being a 'tard

[2ndIINone]

IMO... if she has ANY reason whatsoever to believe you can tell she's been on your site... then she's doing it to get a reaction out of you. If not, then she's keeping tabs on you. For what reason??? It could be many.

 

I too, am goin' through the exact same thing. but not as often.

 

You wanna turn the tables?.... delete the site OR hide yourself.

Lil'missdumper or somebody might be able to help you out... similiar, but I don't think she's engaged or anything.... she's just having second thoughts of her 'dump' actions, reconnected with her dumpee, but is 'doing it with dignity' as she put it.

[RecordProducer]

I just thought some people here may have a clue why an ex would literally spend so much time on your web site if they weren't thinking about you or having second thoughts about the person they just got engaged to.

Curiosity? (If not love)

 

I visit my ex-BF's web site like once every couple months to see what's going on with him, since he insisted on NC with me. I want to check if he is well. His father had a bad brain cancer so I was going there to see if no bad news show up. Then I found out he had a GF and I was relieved and happy for him. I just cared about him as a person and felt a bit guilty for dumping him, but it was also curiosity. I would hate to know that something bad happened and I didn't even know.

[CaliGuy]

Curiosity? (If not love)

 

I visit my ex-BF's web site like once every couple months to see what's going on with him, since he insisted on NC with me. I want to check if he is well. His father had a bad brain cancer so I was going there to see if no bad news show up. Then I found out he had a GF and I was relieved and happy for him. I just cared about him as a person and felt a bit guilty for dumping him, but it was also curiosity. I would hate to know that something bad happened and I didn't even know.

 

 

One every few months I could understand. With my ex, it was once every other day (and sometimes twice a day). Just recently it slowed down a lot. So far this month only 5 times but she did spend a lot of time looking at pictures on the most recent visit.

 

She may be curious or I think she could be having doubts about her decision to marry the guy she is with. I have not contacted her so that may have added to her curiosity. I don't know.

[CaliGuy]

IMO... if she has ANY reason whatsoever to believe you can tell she's been on your site... then she's doing it to get a reaction out of you. If not, then she's keeping tabs on you. For what reason??? It could be many.

 

I too, am goin' through the exact same thing. but not as often.

 

Well then she isn't getting a reaction. Not even when we saw each other the other day in passing. I just walked by and paid no attention to her.

[2ndIINone]

it sounds like the site you are talking about is MS. Correct? Ugh! I have my problems with site... Nothing but added drama for relationships and ex's. I always felt that site (for ex's) was like... two people sitting on a couch for hours and not saying a word to each other... for the simple fact, they don't have to, BUT it's a perfect way to keep tabs on each other.. that's why I just deleted the whole thing... too many stalkers, nosey people, others screaming for attention...

 

I wonder if you should've said Hi to her in passing... but in a happygoluckyjolly "I'm soooo much happier without you" kinda way.

 

No reaction, not even a "Hi" in passing, may have just showed her that you haven't forgiven her, you're still a little bitter about the breakup. Ya know?

Think about it.... after she walked by and noticed you noticing her... she may have thought to herself... "Wow, dooode cant even say Hi to me?? I must've hurt him bad..." making her ego, just a little bit bigger.

[Ssheena]

Sigh. I hate myspace.

 

Why is she looking? Who knows. Why are her visits 12 hours apart? My guess to this is because she looks when she logs on - I go through all my websites that I visit everytime I log on - ccn, myspace, gmail, LS etc..

 

She is getting a reaction, she just doesn't know that you are reacting. Your reaction is this post.

 

I suspect that while you may be over her and life is good and all that, there still might be a part of you that is sad at how things ended and that they did.

 

You could get rid of the tracker, then you wouldn't know. Just like she probably doesn't know for sure if you have a tracker or not.

 

I agree that if she is spending a lot of time on your site then she is thinking about you but just because you break up with someone doesn't mean you still don't care about them and want to know what is going on in their life. Maybe she does have regrets.

 

Get rid of the tracker, it will make it easier for you to move on and you won't wonder.

 

Best of luck.

[Kamille]

It could be that she just likes to keep up on what you are up to and no longer cares whether or not you 'track' the website.

 

She might also think that you would no longer be tracking her. So that she could catch up incognito.

 

It could be that she's looking for a clue that you are with someone else to reinitiate a friendship with you.

 

I know that right now I go check my ex's myspace to see whether his status is still on single. I am mostly over him but somehow I feel like the cycle will be complete once he finds somebody else.

[CaliGuy]

it sounds like the site you are talking about is MS. Correct? Ugh! I have my problems with site... Nothing but added drama for relationships and ex's. I always felt that site (for ex's) was like... two people sitting on a couch for hours and not saying a word to each other... for the simple fact, they don't have to, BUT it's a perfect way to keep tabs on each other.. that's why I just deleted the whole thing... too many stalkers, nosey people, others screaming for attention...

 

I wonder if you should've said Hi to her in passing... but in a happygoluckyjolly "I'm soooo much happier without you" kinda way.

 

No reaction, not even a "Hi" in passing, may have just showed her that you haven't forgiven her, you're still a little bitter about the breakup. Ya know?

Think about it.... after she walked by and noticed you noticing her... she may have thought to herself... "Wow, dooode cant even say Hi to me?? I must've hurt him bad..." making her ego, just a little bit bigger.

 

 

It's no MS, just a personal web page.

 

As for not saying anything, truth be told I wasn't completely sure it was her at first. She changed her hair color and got breast implants.

[CaliGuy]

Sigh. I hate myspace.

 

Why is she looking? Who knows. Why are her visits 12 hours apart? My guess to this is because she looks when she logs on - I go through all my websites that I visit everytime I log on - ccn, myspace, gmail, LS etc..

 

She is getting a reaction, she just doesn't know that you are reacting. Your reaction is this post.

 

I suspect that while you may be over her and life is good and all that, there still might be a part of you that is sad at how things ended and that they did.

 

You could get rid of the tracker, then you wouldn't know. Just like she probably doesn't know for sure if you have a tracker or not.

 

I agree that if she is spending a lot of time on your site then she is thinking about you but just because you break up with someone doesn't mean you still don't care about them and want to know what is going on in their life. Maybe she does have regrets.

 

Get rid of the tracker, it will make it easier for you to move on and you won't wonder.

 

Best of luck.

 

 

It's not a tracker, I just know her IP addresses. Of that I am absolutely positive.

 

The thing is, if you just "care" about someone you check on them occassionally (once or twice a month at best.) If you are obsessing over them, I have to think you visit their web page a lot and do so timed like she did.

 

Am I sad the way things ended? Sure. Is the end of my life? No, not really. I'll meet someone else of that I am sure. And I do truly believe that if she was having serious doubts that she would make an effort to contact me when the time is right.

 

The thing is, I don't want her back the way she treated me before and she'd have to have made a complete transformation for me to even consider going down that road again.

 

Once bitten, twice shy.

[CaliGuy]

It could be that she just likes to keep up on what you are up to and no longer cares whether or not you 'track' the website.

 

She might also think that you would no longer be tracking her. So that she could catch up incognito.

 

It could be that she's looking for a clue that you are with someone else to reinitiate a friendship with you.

 

I know that right now I go check my ex's myspace to see whether his status is still on single. I am mostly over him but somehow I feel like the cycle will be complete once he finds somebody else.

 

True but how often do you check? In her case, it was quite often and looking over old pics and always reading the blog. The blog I can understand if she just wants to know what is going on in my life but the pics as well? Kind of weird.

[amaysngrace]

How long were you two together and how long has she been with this guy? Did she know him from before?

[whichwayisup]

This is a dumb question, but how do you know she's looked at your personal website? Does she have to log in, or do you know her IP address? I am just curious. I mean, it could be her future hubby checking out your site if she isn't logging in to view it.

 

Just curious more than anything else. My guess is she was having some doubts about her decision but now has come to peace with it.

 

Don't try to figure it out. Remember, curosity killed the cat.......

[amaysngrace]

Remember, curosity killed the cat.......

 

.....but satisfaction brought him back!

[CaliGuy]

How long were you two together and how long has she been with this guy? Did she know him from before?

 

About 2 years. She met him in Nov of '05 when I went home for my mom's funeral in mid Nov. In early December, they started dating so I booted her out of the house.

 

They've been dating since then (15 months) and just recently got engaged in December. We had some contact last May-Aug but since then I've not made an efforts to contact her. So basically I have gone 7 months NC.

 

She is the type of personality to be overly worried about making a mistake. I think that may be the case with this guy but again, other than stalking me on my web site she has made no efforts to contact me.

[whichwayisup]

.....but satisfaction brought him back!

 

Yeah I knew some smart ass was gonna say that......

[CaliGuy]

This is a dumb question, but how do you know she's looked at your personal website? Does she have to log in, or do you know her IP address? I am just curious. I mean, it could be her future hubby checking out your site if she isn't logging in to view it.

 

I know her home and work IP addresses. Easy to find, just check the IP address in the header of the email they send you. Then check that against the IP addresses that have visited your web site.

 

I am 100% sure it's her.

 

Don't try to figure it out. Remember, curosity killed the cat.......

 

I'm curious but not reacting. As I have stated many times before, she has made no effort to contact me and when I saw her last Sunday she was still wearing his ring. I am assuming all is well in her camp and that the visits were based on her re-evaluating her decision. Since the end of Feb the visits have slowed down (only 5 this month). I did see her fiance and he gave me a dirty look on Saturday. My guess is that he caught her looking at my web site and maybe that is why the visits slowed down. He has no reason to be upset with me as I have done him no wrong.

[amaysngrace]

Karma is a bitch. So she basically left you for him while you were having personal tragedy? Nice.

 

I think any relationship that starts off that way would be doomed by guilt. Unless she's heartless which she sounds to be.

 

Guilt is a hard thing to get rid of.

[CaliGuy]

Karma is a bitch. So she basically left you for him while you were having personal tragedy? Nice.

 

Yes, and though I have forgiven her for that, I have not forgotten. She would have to apologzie profusely for me to even consider dating her again. She was only looking out for herself and in my time of greatest need, she left me standing there in a pool of sorrow.

 

I think any relationship that starts off that way would be doomed by guilt. Unless she's heartless which she sounds to be.

 

Guilt is a hard thing to get rid of.

 

I think she is selfish, not heartless. The relationship didn't start that way, it just ended that way. And I do imagine that if she has a lot of personal guilt over the way things ended it would be extremely difficult for her to swallow her pride and apologize. She is extremely embarrassed to be caught in the wrong.

[amaysngrace]

I do imagine that if she has a lot of personal guilt over the way things ended it would be extremely difficult for her to swallow her pride and apologize. She is extremely embarrassed to be caught in the wrong.

 

Yeah but she's only fooling herself here. I can't see how she could have made a good choice with this new guy when she still had a fire burning on your stove, so to speak.

 

If she left you when you were down that really says a lot about the person that she is. Sorry to say this but I think only a piece of crap would do something so rotten.