suckmykiss Posted March 23, 2007 Share Posted March 23, 2007 Putting are child through this? My husband and I married young (20 and 22)and for 5 years. We divorced right after our daughter was born. The divorce was nasty and alot of pent up stuff. 4years later we are close and we seem to be getting those old feelings back. We have dated others but not to seriously. I realize still in love with him and we've gotten older and matured alot. I'm not sure how he feels. Doesn't matter at this time because I'm not sure I should pursue this. Is this something I pursue? What if it doesn't work out? Wouldn't it be awful if it didn't and our daughter was put through us splitting up? Link to post Share on other sites
Author suckmykiss Posted March 24, 2007 Author Share Posted March 24, 2007 Please, any opinions? Or anyone who has gone through something similar. Thank you for any advise. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 I am probably not the best person to advice you on this as i have no children of my own. Yet I see my friends, a few of whom are single moms, struggle with the issue of letting someone in on their family life. On the one hand, I understand that children put a lot of stock in the idea of their parents being together and that this is why you would be hesitant to go this way. Does she remember the two of you together at all? Is this something she has ever enquired about? On the other, I don't see why you would treat getting together with your ex any differently then dating someone else altogether. Start slow. Ask family or friends to babysit and go out on dates once in awhile. Only let your daughter know about it once it gets to a point where you are certain that this is something that is working out. Then introduce the idea to her slowly yet again by first attending school and community events together (unless you already do that). Link to post Share on other sites
Author suckmykiss Posted March 24, 2007 Author Share Posted March 24, 2007 I am probably not the best person to advice you on this as i have no children of my own. Yet I see my friends, a few of whom are single moms, struggle with the issue of letting someone in on their family life. On the one hand, I understand that children put a lot of stock in the idea of their parents being together and that this is why you would be hesitant to go this way. Does she remember the two of you together at all? Is this something she has ever enquired about? On the other, I don't see why you would treat getting together with your ex any differently then dating someone else altogether. Start slow. Ask family or friends to babysit and go out on dates once in awhile. Only let your daughter know about it once it gets to a point where you are certain that this is something that is working out. Then introduce the idea to her slowly yet again by first attending school and community events together (unless you already do that). I very much appreciate the response. Thank you. I have no idea what to do. I'm torn between being with him but it if it doesn't work out I don't want it to hurt our daughter. No, she is only 4 and has seen us together, but has never know us as a coup.e. I treat this differently because if it doesn't work out again we still have to see each other. And I don't want to let our daughter down. Our child is getting to an age to realize marriage/boyfriends/girlfriends... I think it's great advice to take it slow with out her involved and see where it goes. Thank you so much. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 I realize still in love with him and we've gotten older and matured alot. I'm not sure how he feels. Two questions. Why don't you know how he feels? Why haven't you asked him about it? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author suckmykiss Posted March 24, 2007 Author Share Posted March 24, 2007 Two questions. Why don't you know how he feels? Why haven't you asked him about it? Mr. Lucky Good question. If I do ask him and he doesn't feel the same way, I feel like I lose more than remaining oblivious. We have a very good relationship now after alot of hard work. I just dont know how he feels. He says things that let me know he's still attracted to me, and he cares about me and I know that he loves me. But I don't know if it's only because he's me exh and we have a child. I don't want to mess anything up by making the wrong move. Lately, we've spent time together but he's pulled back or I've pulled back. It's confusing on what direction to go with this. I want to keep our child as the number one priority. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 It's confusing on what direction to go with this. I want to keep our child as the number one priority. Well, I hate to sound like Dr. Laura, but the best thing for your child would be an intact family with Mom and Dad. You don't want to come across as a love-struck teenager, but couldn't you say something neutral like "I'm wondering how you see me these days?". Or just ask him out on a date Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
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