I would appreciate some input on this matter, thank you.

[Guest]

So, I just started dating my boyfriend Paul back in late December, but we've both been in crap relationships and decided instantly that we were The One for each other. We fell totally and madly in love. We've also both done some stupid things in the past and he told me he wanted to move in with me, have kids with me, marry me, and that he would never do anything to hurt me. (Sidenote: I'm 22, he's 26.)

 

A couple of weeks ago, I did something kind of stupid. I'm a very jealous, insecure person. Very. It's so bad I think I have some sort of anxiety disorder. I'm also very secretive. So, naturally, I really, really wanted to know about his past. I had one of his friends' girlfriends give me any "information" that she knew of about his exes. We got in a fight about two weeks ago because I got drunk and told him. She was mad at me, and he was livid. He couldn't believe I didn't trust him.

 

So anyways, his best friend just broke up with his girlfriend of like, four years. So, naturally, he wanted Paul to go with him to the bars to help him pick up chicks. I of course, was not invited. I went for like, two months spending every night with Paul. Now, he's with his best friend a couple nights a week without me.

 

After the whole insecurity thing happened, he went to the bar with his friend. I told him to call me when he got out, because he said he needed a ride. He never called me. I called him about fifty times, and he finally shut off his phone. (!) He called me at 11 the next morning to tell me how sorry he was and how drunk he had gotten, and his phone ran out of battery.

 

So, I looked at his Myspace and there was a comment from one of his exes about how it was "so great to see you at the bar two times this week!" I got livid because I wasn't there either time and he had not mentioned seeing her! I called him and asked him about it, crying, and he told me how jealous and insecure and "needy" I was being again.

 

So far, we've pretty much gotten over the ordeal but sometimes he'll throw in the whole "you're so needy" crap and say he's just joking. I AM needy.

 

Tonight him and his best friend are going to the bar, again, and I'm not invited, again. He said "don't be one of those stupid girls that call me every two seconds, baby". So I'm not going to call him. At all. And I'm not going to freak out about anything. Also, his best friend mentioned that he "HAD" to go because if he didn't, he would be the only dude there! (!)

 

If I say anything to him about being with a bunch of other girls, or even joke about him getting some "other action", he says his feelings get really hurt and that he would never do anything like that to me. He says that we're at the point of our rlationship that I should trust him. I just hope I didn't anger him to the point of him breaking up with me for someone else. He also doesn't seem as interested in me anymore as he did at the beginning, but I know, I know...the honeymoon stage. Yes, I know.

 

What do you all think about this, guys? What do you think I should do? Should I back off and give him more space (even though he didn't need ANY space until after I pissed him off so badly two weeks ago!)?

 

Thank you so much!

 

Adrienne

[Dadubwa]

just take it easy for awhile....learn to trust him, because you obviously don't....if he does something that's awful...is he doesn't good.....either way he'll prove whatever needs to be proved to you himself.

 

good luck!