Whats she doing?

[Guest]

I love my girlfriend to pieces but lately its getting more and more obvious that she has been lying to me about things for a long time. Not big things mind you, nothing that would warrant me dumping her but they are starting to mount up.

 

Where to begin... Okay, I first started feeling jealous a few weeks ago when she started talking to an old friend of hers again after a few years of only occasional texts and emails. I know for a fact, (since she told me), that she used to talk to this guy for hours and hours on the phone and text all the time as well as send postal letters and pictures to each other. She also said that she used to think she was in love with him but it wouldnt have worked because they live so far apart.

 

Now, she went to visit this guy, just as friends mind you, and ended up sleeping with him and therefore cheating on her boyfriend at the time. Although granted he was violent and abusive but still. She has always maintained that she would never be able to cheat because she doesnt have it in her. Well what was that if not cheating?

 

Anyways, these days she is always texting him, or chatting on MSN and whan I question her about it its always we are just chatting, its nothing to worry about, we are just friends and so on. I might have been able to accept that if I hadnt caught them doing some serious flirting a while ago and talking about what could happen if he comes up here to visit her.

 

So I call her on it and she breaks down in tears apologising for it and say it was a one off, it wont happen again, she cant help it because she is a flirty person and I let it go. But she still spends all night after I have gone to bed chating to him or texting him from bed. I ask her to come to bed and she is never tired when he is online, but funnily if he isnt online she then wants me to come to bed and makes me feel bad if I dont. However shestill maintains that they dont talk about anything sexual or flirty anyways so why am I worried?

 

Next, I was searching for batteries today for my digital camera and going through all the places where there couild be some I could borrow. How about in her "special toy"? What should I find but a little note folded up inside written by her almost a year ago exactly about how she was having text sex with a WOMAN one night while I was in bed and going on about how good it was, how much she wanted to do it for real and how she was going to try and get into contact with this girl more closely. I have noticed her before being overly flirty with blokes she has spoken to on the net but I have never called her on it.

 

Now Im wondering where I stand, she has maintained throughout our four year relationship that she could never cheat on me and that she never spoke dirty or rude to anyone either via her phone or the net but I dont know if I can believe her anymore. If this sort of stuff has been going on for this long with her lying about it what else has she been lying about? What else has she been getting up to with either this "old friend" of hers or anyone else after she has packed me off to bed? We have all sorts of "private" pictures I have taken on this computer, are they for my eyes only anymore?

 

Please could someone tell me if I am just being paranoid and jealous or do I have something to be worried about?