lostindenver Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 First I warn you this is going to be long, I will try to keep it as short as possible though. About 2.5 months ago, I started messing around with one of my friends and co-workers, a female. I am also a female and had never had any sexual experiences with the same sex besides harmless and meaningless kisses with my close girl friends. Anyway, she was in a relationship at the time (about a year and a half) and was living with her girlfriend. I knew this the first night we messed around, but really did not think about what was going to come of this. Not even a week after it started her and her gf broke up because her gf saw text messages from me and someone else. Since then, her ex moved out of their apartment, her and I have spent a lot of time together and she often spends the night at my place. Since everything began, I knew she wasn't looking to start a relationship with me and she didn't expect to develop feelings for me. I also knew the kind of person she was when in a relationship. I know, from being her friend, that there were other times that she had cheated on her girlfriend and that I wasn't the only one. However, I can't help how I feel and have developed strong feelings for her. She knows this and has also developed feelings for me, but I don't think as strong as mine. Since her and her ex broke up they have still talked and even talked about whether or not they could work things out. She talks to me about these things and asks for my advice because since day one I have asked her to just be honest about what is going on with her and her ex as I always knew there was a strong possibility that they could get back together. Anyway, this situation is complicated on so many different levels: the whole ex thing; we're co-workers; and not to mention she is black and I am white so there are obviously cultural differences as well. So my question is not what should I do. I know I should not be making her a priority when she is only making me an option (if that). I have plenty of people telling me that I should take control of the situation and just walk away. Easier said than done. I know that she cares about me and really values our friendship; as do I. And it would kill me if our friendship was affected by this which it very well could be. But the fact is, more than likely, her and I are going no where. She's getting the best of both worlds, and meanwhile my feelings are only growing stronger for someone that I can't even express them to whole heartedly. I know I should end this, but my question is how do I do it without hurting our friendship. I know I am going to hurt and that it is going to be VERY hard for me to do. I know it means that at first things are not going to be on good terms with her and I. How do I force myself to do this thing that I really don't want to do? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostindenver Posted March 28, 2007 Author Share Posted March 28, 2007 can anyone give me any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts