frankie81 Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 Hi I need some feedback. ok so I've been with my bf since last April. He had been travelling around OZ and got back in jan, while travelling he met a girl from sweden we live in the uk and they travelled together for 6 months as bf and gf. They made all these plans and she was supposed to come over here and then bailed at the last min so he went over to sweden in feb last year and at this point they were still an item, he was going to move over there with her but it all went pear shaped and she changed her mind and said it was not what she wanted but lets stay friends. So i met him a month or so later and we said going out etc. Everything was fine between us and then we went away for a small camping holiday and when we got back i applied for a job down south and got it. so we moved after six months together and moved in together in this new town etc. Anyway everything was fine, but before we moved his ex from sweden had called him at his parents and left a message i saw it but said nothing and eventually it turned out we discussed it and he said he didnt ring her back and that he was really into me and that the fact that we were moving together should indicat ehow he feels. Anyway months pass and we go to the internet cafe in a nearby town and he checks his emails and has loads from the ex, so i ask if he emails her and he said not while your here. anyway i know his password and can;t resist a look at the emails very naughty i know and i should have done it because i have opened a can of worms! It turns out he has been emailing her up until we moved saying he thinks about her everyday and really misses her and that she should come and see him it may mess things up with me but **** happens to quote! by the way he wrote to her and sent her gift while we were going out! she wasn't that interested till he wrote to her and explained he had a new gf. Anyway the emails appeared to have dried up since we have moved down here, until yesterday i was out and got back and rang him and asked where he was he said the internet cafe! When he got back i asked if he emailed family and friend and he said you know who i was emailing! so i had to look today at work very naughty i know! But the email he sent yesterday says he thinks about her everyday and i'm not mentioned even though he said he mentioned me and it says i miss you 2! I'm ok with him emailing her and i only looked because at xmas he said that they would still be togethr if they lived near each other! i feel like bit of a runner up prize. i have given him the opportunity to end thid relationship with me if he aint happy etc and he says no everything is fine i want to be here with you! then y his he emailing his ex gf i miss u and i think about you all the time! By the way he doesn't know i have read the emails ! am i just a fill in?is he keeping his options open? say if it doesn't work out between us he could call her up and go over there. he said to me he would like to see her again but they would not be jumping into bed etc. but if its just a friendship why is he thinking about her everyday? he alsotell me he doesn't do bday and presents and valentines day and i never got a card however i know he sent flowers and card and a necklace to her the latter while he was with me! am i just wasting my time? please help look i know i should not have looked at the emails! thanks:( Link to post Share on other sites
LittleWoman12 Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 It sounds like he's two-timing you. I think if he gets the chance to be with her and you're not around, you could only imagine what they'll do. He is just a man being the scum of the earth that they are known to be. I would confront him and than kick his ass to the curb. Or, you could ask if he would like her to come and live with the two of you and have a threesome? Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 ooh I really dont like that. Sounds like he is still holding on to this girl. Holding on to any little sign of hope that she will come back to him. I think you should admit to reading the e-mails. Because now you are going to act all weird with him..he's going to be wondering wthell is wrong with her, sending him running to e-mail his ex some more. I think if you had the 'cojones' to read the e-mails..then you should just admit you messed up and read them, and then confront him straight up about his ex. Your living with the guy already right? You need to nip this in the bud NOW! Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 and that she should come and see him it may mess things up with me but **** happens to quote! Sounds like he loves you very much. i feel like bit of a runner up prize. Well, that's better than third prize. You have nothing to worry about with her. She isn't really interested in him, beyond a bit of attention. And the odd necklace. It is a lot more worrying that he seems to be using you for comfort until he finds someone else to play with. i have given him the opportunity to end thid relationship with me if he aint happy etc and he says no everything is fine i want to be here with you! Why, oh why, would you ask a question like that??!! "If you don't want me, then you can throw me out. Oh, you do want me? OK. Cool." Link to post Share on other sites
LittleWoman12 Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 Sounds like he loves you very much. Well, that's better than third prize. You have nothing to worry about with her. She isn't really interested in him, beyond a bit of attention. And the odd necklace. It is a lot more worrying that he seems to be using you for comfort until he finds someone else to play with. Why, oh why, would you ask a question like that??!! "If you don't want me, then you can throw me out. Oh, you do want me? OK. Cool."He doesn't love you and the necklace he wants to give her is a pearl necklace and not the kind that comes from oysters. Dump him before he dumps you. Get over it. Link to post Share on other sites
noxnoctisangela Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 He doesn't love you and the necklace he wants to give her is a pearl necklace and not the kind that comes from oysters. Dump him before he dumps you. Get over it. agreed...he doesnt love you and is using you as a back up if things dont work out again with ms. sweden...get rid of him. Link to post Share on other sites
Dadubwa Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 Let me make this easy for you. Sure if they were e-mails saying "Oh I miss you, I think about you everyday" a little sketchy...but ya know what? Great friends are great friends and great friends will think about great friends and honestly...that's OKAY. Sending gifts...telling you "No I don't do gifts"...on top of the e-mails. BREAK UP WITH HIM. He's not only keeping his options open...he's emotionally cheating on you. Bring it up, you're not wrong. Say "I want you to know I read those e-mails, I want you to know...I'm second best to you...and I want you to know that's not okay with me" Second best sucks, you deserve better. Link to post Share on other sites
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