Bachelor Party Dry-#ucking...a Q for Men

[oh_what_am_I_doing]

The chick was trying to make a buck and has NO interest in your fiance most likely.

 

It should make absolutely no difference why the stripper did it or whether or not she enjoyed it. The reasoning that a wife needs to be concerned with, is why did her husband do it? There's absolutely no excuse for that kind of behavior. It's completely unacceptable. IMO, if a guy wants to have a bachelor party, then he needs to do it before he asks the girl to be commited in the first place. Once you're in a relationship, it's cheating. Once you ask her to be your one and only, there is no more dry *ucking with strippers. Especially a week or so before the wedding? Give me a break.

[MrsHellFire]

Ew.. your fiance is completely nasty if this thread is legit. Honestly, I thought you first meant dry SUCKING and that is bad enough. Dry Fcking? Gross.He found any excuse attainable to rationalize his behavior to you. How the hell did you find out?

[lindya]

Ew.. your fiance is completely nasty if this thread is legit. Honestly, I thought you first meant dry SUCKING and that is bad enough. Dry Fcking? Gross.He found any excuse attainable to rationalize his behavior to you. How the hell did you find out?

 

 

Dry sucking? In which parts (other than the obvious) is that a popular pastime?

 

Now I'm feeling paranoid about the dry-kissing couple in my avatar. What on earth must people be thinking of me!

[McFadden]

Isn't it pretty hard to find a guy that will agree to this "no strippers ever" rule? Even if they do most of them will just lie about it behind your back. As least this guy sounds like he fessed up about it. Syrup and chocolate on top of his clothes? Ew..

[LucreziaBorgia]

Well, its been a while now. Wonder how this situation turned out?

[Krytellan]

So, if you can give me some male perspective on this one...I'd appreciate it. By the way...did I mention I was sitting at home pregnant and not able to have a wild Bachelorette party...yet I sent him off and told him to have a fun night and drink a beer for me?

 

I hope by male perspective you meant female We have a few resident experts on strippers, bachelor parties, and pornos... and it seems you have their perspectives.

 

My question is who the heck told you what happened???????

[reef man]

So, here we go. I have fallen in love with a man and fallen out of trust. Over the course of my life, I've dated many men who treated me very well, unfortunately, I never truly loved them. Now I am dating a man with whom I have found a strong love. Here's the kicker...he's made a few bad choices over the last year that have collectively lost the trust I had in him.

 

Prior to his bachelor party, none of them included cheating; but, they did include lies involving women. I've tried to grow an understanding that people will make mistakes, including myself and have decided that love really is worth blurring the lines (in some cases) and working through problems. Even trust issues.

 

Now the Bachelor Party and how it pushed the "blurry" lines. My fiancee was laid out by a naked stripper, had syrup and chocolate poured all over him. She stradled his crotch and dry #ucked him, shoved her chest in his face, etc. He claims it is ok because he didn't hire her, and he didn't touch her back. (other than his dk and her psy with fabric in-between and her bare chest on his bare face.)

 

Now, my problem. Does a nude woman dry #ucking your fiancee not constitute cheating?

 

Well, I don't think it constitutes cheating, but it is certainly inappropriate if you don't feel comfortable with it and in my mind it is damn disrespectful either way to you.

 

Does it have to be actual intercourse to be considered infidelity?

 

Nope. I'd consider kissing infidelity.

 

Let's complicate things a bit...he had promised me he'd never let a stripper touch him, nor would he give one even a dollar. So, not only has he been humped by a naked woman with her tties in his face; but, he broke his word to me as well. He knew I didn't like strippers at bachelor parties b/c I don't believe an engaged man should be getting his jollies from any naked woman other than myself...but I did not forbade him, I trusted him to handle himself appropriately.

 

You told him how you felt. And he did it anyway. Major disrespect. He should be in the doghouse for a long time.

 

On the other hand, if he broke his promise to you, and basically crapped all over your feelings, maybe you might not want to marry him.

 

So when he has already screwed things up and broken trust, promised no stripper would ever touch him, been dry #ucked a few weeks before the wedding...should I get over it or should I look for a man who respects me

 

I'd say look for a man that respects you. This guy obviously does not.

[reef man]

The bachelor party wouldn't bother me. The chick was trying to make a buck and has NO interest in your fiance most likely. A guy in front of his friends, especially if they are all drinking, is unlikely to play the church lady and say " no touching tsk tsk"

 

BUT, you alluded to some other " bad choices" he made that caused you to lose trust in him. If you explain further you might find me backing you up on THAT front !

 

good luck !

 

Very true everything you just said. However, the issue here is, her fiancee knew about her feelings on the matter, and he didn't care. He let a stripper grind him anyway. He doesn't respect her feelings. And that is something nobody needs.

[playdoughdays]

Can I add something? when I was married, my husband told me that nothing ever happened at strip clubs or bachelor parties..He told me that bouncers would break your arms if a guy tried to touch. He said women were ugly, skanky,,whatever. His friends always agreed. I still had a problem with it,,and luckily for me, I'm divorced and am in a relationship with a man who has great morals. When I was single,,after a 17 year marriage, I met men who confessed to me what really went on in the clubs and especially private parties. Most of these men where male friends who had no reason to hide anything from me..i wasn't going to nag.

From girl on girl masterbation with toys, to men being allowed to use the toys on the women, to girls straddling faces of the men to grasp dollar bills with their crotch and hump lollipops,to quick private parties behind closed doors, this stuff goes on at Bachelor parties. Many of the partakers are married men, much of the time the groom is too drunk to do anything. THe code of men is strong,,no one will tell. Same in strip clubs,,back rooms with not too many limitations. I speak of Michigan,,don't know what else is going on in other states.

Bachelor parties are considered a rite of passage nowadays..where did men learn this from and why do women accept it.. Are they that desperate to get married.

Here's a great link to a site written by a bride to be who's groom tried to convince her that it was normal to do this...their marriage didn't last.

http://www.indiebride.com/essays/cole/index.html

I wish women would open up their eyes,,what kind of a man will you be marrying?

[Carbine]

He claims it is ok because he didn't hire her' date=' and he didn't touch her back. (other than his dk and her psy with fabric in-between and her bare chest on his bare face.)[/quote']

 

That's one of the typical excuses used to condone the sort of behaviour you described. Unfortunately, it doesn't hold. If he's old enough to be let into a strip club, then he's old enough to be able to say "No" (or "no thanks" if he has any manners, which it doesn't sound like he has).

 

Now' date=' my problem. Does a nude woman dry #ucking your fiancee not constitute cheating?[/quote']

 

As someone else said, you'll know in your heart if you've been 'cheated' upon. Different people feel differently about what constitutes cheating. Personally, I feel that it's cheating without a doubt. C'mon, I mean, he was intimate with another woman, regardless of other factors coming into play. To me that's all that really matters.

 

Not all men are pigs...am I right?

 

You're somewhat right...not all men are pigs - up until their bachelor party. Then they transform into not just pigs but rabid warthogs .

 

Really, the whole bachelor party thing is so stupid and generally pointless. How on earth can a man be ready to marry someone but at the same time behave that way with strippers in order to celebrate his last night of 'freedom'?? Seems like a massive contradiction to me...

[lindya]

Bachelor parties are considered a rite of passage nowadays..where did men learn this from and why do women accept it.. Are they that desperate to get married.

 

I read this

 

http://www.indiebride.com/essays/cole/index.html

 

...and my immediate instinct was that despite her preoccupation with "this is all about me..." these guys were not so much humiliating the bride to be, as humiliating the strippers. Making three of them have sex with eachother on a towel while they watched - there's a "final scenes of Requiem for a Dream" air about that. If I found out someone I was going to marry carried on like that when he was out with the guys, I think I'd be concerned less about the potential for infidelity, more about whether I was perhaps getting married to someone who didn't have much in the way of taste, soul and heart.