Condom in his bag

[Just_Paranoid?]

Something tells me I'm worried over nothing, but I found a condom in my bf's bag. He'd mentioned earlier in our relationship that 'oh ha ha, he'd found this old condom in his bag and had forgotten it was there'. It IS pretty old, not expired yet, but old. The package is all wrinkled and bent and the color rubbed off in places.

 

Last night I saw him pick something up off the floor and put it in his bag and I thought 'is that a condom?', but I had my contacts out at this point and could barely see. He did it right in front of me (as a note, we don't use condoms, ltr). The stuff on the floor was his clothes from a weekend trip to the city, which I joined him for halfway through. He spent most of his time with mutual friends of ours, and met up with some old work friends at the bars late at night (I know this is true, he let me listen to the voicemail message his work friend left him since he'd said some other, funny stuff in it).

 

When he was in the shower, I felt in his bag and found the condom. Now, this bag is pretty empty. He doesn't use it much except for meetings. If he did find the condom in there, why would he leave it in there? I mean, he IS a packrat, he hardly ever throws things away, even when they are broken, but I don't know why he would leave it in his bag. He never takes this bag places overnight. And I can't be certain that what he picked up off the floor was the condom, since I couldn't see, but why was it on his floor with his weekend stuff? I'm 90% sure he put it in one of the front pockets, and I couldn't find anything else there that might have been what he put in the bag.

 

We have a very rosy relationship, basically the best I've ever had. It's been nine months and we knew one another beforehand. Sex is at least once/day, and he is very physically affectionate, in public and when we are alone. He is always telling people how happy I make him and how he loves me (he tells me a lot too). He tells me every day how beautiful he thinks I am. Sometimes he asks me to marry him under his breath, when he thinks I'm not listening or when he thinks I'm sleeping. He's super helpful - I never have to ask him for help, he just assumes he's helping me - and he basically treats me like I put the moon in the sky. We spend every evening and weekends together and the time we spend is a blast (when would he EVER have time to cheat?). We rarely argue.

 

Should I just let this slide or should I ask him about it? And if I do ask him about it, how can I put it in a way that doesn't come across as accusatory or offensive?

[Aloros]

I'd just let it slide. Sounds like something he just left in there from a long time ago.

[norajane]

Throw out the condom and forget about it. It sounds like you have a great relationship!

[LakesideDream]

I agree with the others. It was old, and package worn, not a new addition to his phanlax. Forget about it.

 

Or..... obsess for weeks, and poison what sounds like a fantastic relationship. Choice is yours.

[RecordProducer]

No, don't throw out the condom, cuz what if he really cheats some day and does it without a condom?

 

I think he is not cheating. The condom is old. The question is not whether he is cheating, but why he put it back and not in the trash. Who knows? Ask him in a joking way. And take it lightly yourself, because nothing indicates that he is doing or intends to do something wrong.

 

The only thing that's stinky in this story is: what if he is thinking "maybe some hot chick will come along and I want to be prepared"? But probably not. Forget about it or ask him with a smile: "If you met some super hot woman who wanted to have sex with you, would you use a condom?"

[Miss_Bee]

We have a very rosy relationship, basically the best I've ever had. It's been nine months and we knew one another beforehand. Sex is at least once/day, and he is very physically affectionate, in public and when we are alone. He is always telling people how happy I make him and how he loves me (he tells me a lot too). He tells me every day how beautiful he thinks I am. Sometimes he asks me to marry him under his breath, when he thinks I'm not listening or when he thinks I'm sleeping. He's super helpful - I never have to ask him for help, he just assumes he's helping me - and he basically treats me like I put the moon in the sky. We spend every evening and weekends together and the time we spend is a blast (when would he EVER have time to cheat?). We rarely argue.

 

Should I just let this slide or should I ask him about it? And if I do ask him about it, how can I put it in a way that doesn't come across as accusatory or offensive?

 

The above tells me that you two seem to have a pretty good relationship. I really don't think that you have anything to worry about. Just let it slide. If there was other evidence other than an old condom, then i might think that something fishy might be up, but if that's all then i think that it's just what you said. He's a pack rat .

 

If i were you i would let it slide for now and enjoy your relationship.

[Just_Paranoid?]

Thanks for the replies! I feel silly for worrying now. I got him a new alarm clock since his old one would turn off if you turned it the wrong way. He wrapped up the old one and was putting it in his closet when I said "What are you doing? It's broken! Just throw it away." He dejectedly put it in the trash can, started to walk away, but then said "If I have a guest, they can use it to wake up in the morning!" and then he turned around and dug it out of the trash! *Rolls eyes*

 

What a dork.

 

He's such a packrat, but I love him to bits.

[Art_Critic]

I don't throw any condoms out until they expire..

 

Why would anybody throw those out ? What would you use if you had to use an antibiotic ?.. you would use a condom...

 

Now if he is buying new ones while you are together.. then you might have an issue..

[BlueEyedSarah]

I agree with the others who have posted here by saying just let it slide as it doesn't sound like he is up to anything like cheating.

[Miss_Bee]

I don't throw any condoms out until they expire..

 

Why would anybody throw those out ? What would you use if you had to use an antibiotic ?.. you would use a condom...

 

Now if he is buying new ones while you are together.. then you might have an issue..

 

 

She said that she was in a LTR, they didn't need condoms, which was why she was concerned that he had one in the first place.

 

That's why she thinks that it was odd for him to have one, at least i think

[RecordProducer]

Why would anybody throw those out ? What would you use if you had to use an antibiotic ?.. you would use a condom...

How would she swallow the condom?

 

The thing is - he keeps it in his bag and he put it back in the bag. She would expect that he'd say something like: "oh... my condom... put it in the drawer, honey." But instead he carries it with him outside. Maybe he is hiding it there. I wouldn't calm down until I see him take it out of the bag.

 

And if she ever needs antibiotics, he'd definitely be suspicious!

[Fiona]

It's SOOooooo obvious!! As long as you keep finding the SAME condom in his bag, you KNOW he's not cheating!!

[RecordProducer]

It's SOOooooo obvious!! As long as you keep finding the SAME condom in his bag, you KNOW he's not cheating!!

Condoms are like cockroaches - they all look the same!

[Miss_Bee]

Condoms are like cockroaches - they all look the same!

 

Yeah, but some are older and have a bit more wear and tear on the outside

[Fiona]

Condoms are like cockroaches - they all look the same!

I don't like the fat ones.