I really need your s now :(

[strawberry11]

Hi everyone. Im honestly so frusterated and sick to my stomach Im so stressed out about my best friend situation.

If you refer to my old posts, it sort of explains the situation. My best friend is male, 7 yrs older than me, and does NOT want to be in a relationship with me, or anyone. (hasnt been in one in over 2 1/2 years).

So basically, we had another one of those awkward talks about 3 weeks ago about how we're just friends. I have liked him in the past and still do obv. but agreed that being friends is best. He said when we talked that he felt confused b/c hes never been this close with anyone (he talks to me a lot about his depression writing struggles etc). We also both agreed that we have a weird relationship because we dont see each other as brother and sister but we also dont see each other as boyfriend/girlfriend. HOWEVER, lately I feel like Im in some sort of warped romantic relationship.

This happened the other night when I went on a date with some random guy I met at the grocery store I shop at. I didnt think Adam (my best friend) thought I'd like the guy, so he wished me a good time etc. While on the date adam asked how it was going and I suprisingly said that I liked the guy. He got really sad, and sent (through text) "Im scared you're not going to need me anymore."

The next day at work he wouldnt talk to me, make eye contact, NOTHING. He acted as though I didnt exist. It was so bad that when I got home from work I began to cry. He called me later that night and explained that he felt like a moron b/c he had no real reason to be upset with me. He said that hes just very very JELOUS and doesnt want to share me with anyone. I told him that I wasnt going anywhere and he said that if I did get a boyfriend things wouldnt be the same and it would crush him......mind you while hes telling me all this, hes reminding me that its not my problem and I should still go out with guys bla bla bla.

The thing is, I feel so confused and tense. I went over to his place the othehr night and he made me dinner and gave me a stuffed dog to sleep with at night. Also, we always cuddle, lay with each other when Im over, have our arms around each other when we walk in public. I just feel really played with. He promises me that hes not playing games with me. He thinks Im the one that plays games! He knows that I like him more than a friend (or I would if he made a move) but he doesnt and hasnt ever. Just lots of, hugging, hand holding, kisses on the cheek etc. He also told me about a bizarre dream he had where he was coming to suprise me at a new house I bought. When he walked in, I was sitting with this guy we work with and I brushed the hair out of his face. He said at that moment his heart was broken and he instantly left the house without saying a word.

 

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I know he has issues, but we all do I guess. He told me he cant control himself around me....he gets mad at me at the drop of a hat, and basically pouts all day at work if I do one little thing to irritate him. He keeps telling me that he feels insecure around me and cant trust himself....

 

I dont know...I just really need your advice people. I feel sad, lonely, and confused. What should I do?

[Not_That_Innocent]

If it's too hard for the two of you to just be friends then I think you should end the relationship. If he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you then he should at least try and be more supportive of you finding someone else. He's definitely on the fence and won't choose a side unless you make him. He's the one who should be lonely and confused, not you since you know exactly what you want, which is him.

[sunshinegirl]

Unwittingly or not, he is playing you.

 

If he doesn't want to be in a relationship (um, why not given how he acts around you??), I agree with the other poster: you should probably end the friendship. It's only going to hold you back from meeting other available men.