not sure...

[Maxwell]

I'm feeling particularly sad tonight. My girlfriend of five years and I broke up 6 months ago. The relationship just fizzled out. It wasn't about cheating or anything like that as I am a monogamous person when in a relationship. I'm not really sure what happened. I do know however that I was not happy when we ended the relationship and thought it was the right thing to do...I still think it was the right thing to do. We lived together for about 4 years. Our relationship since the split has been amicable. We have not had any intimate encounters with each other since the split. I have not been with another woman since, feeling that I would be completely useless to any woman at this point and don't feel that it would be fair of me. I was doing alright for the first few months but now feel the sadness and lonliness creeping into my life. I didn't see her much at the beginning and now see her occasionally (every couple of weeks) for a coffee or a bite to eat, just to check in with each other. Although happy to see her and catch up, these encounters leave me feeling hollow and empty. The whole ordeal (breakup) has made me question alot of things in my life. Sometimes a certain song or situation can trigger a wave of emotions that I'm not particulary sure how to deal with. I suppose I am a little depressed about being alone and feel sorry for myself at times. I realize there will be another person in my life in the future and that things can only get better from here. I've never questioned why we broke up or thought about getting back together with her as I think we would end up in the same place somewhere down the road. I don't have any questions to ask in this post. I guess I just wanted to write down the way I am feeling as some type of cathartic process I hope/know I'm working through. I don't really have anybody to speak to about this type of thing and appreciate this opportunity to do so.

 

Bye for now and good luck with whatever ails you.

[Tony T]

What you're going through is perfectly normal...all the feelings. I'm not sure of the wisdom of getting together with her every week or two, though. That shouldn't happen until the healing process is totally complete. You are obviously not over her yet.

 

Healing takes some people a lot longer than others. I've always envied those who can just run find someone else almost immediatley. I can't do that. For some people, it takes two or three years to reach the point where they start getting interested in pursuing other love interests.

 

Be patient with yourself, stay busy, do nice things for yourself, and stop seeing this lady until you are over her. Opening wounds every few weeks is just plain nuts! You have absolutely no reason to check in with her every few weeks unless you have a child together or own a business together.

[Chickie]

do you rip off quickly or do you slowly tear it from your skin?

 

I prefer the "rip" method. This way it is done, overwith and it is truely less painful.

 

I suggest you rip her from your life. And then find some quiet time for you and then get on with it.