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i cheated. i dont deserve him anymore.


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I moved to Sacramento recently and made a few friends. Me & my boyfriend decided to choose a long distance relationship. Everything was great. I mean we had our ups & downs But overall things were perfect. We don't see each other as much as we used to. But its mostly every 2-3 weeks he comes over for the weekend.

I was hanging out with one of my friends i met. He just happened to be a guy. He took me to a party and it was my fault. i thought i could trust him. i was having too much fun i decided to drink alittle too much. Even though i told him when i first met him i have a boyfriend, he took advantage and we had sex. When i realized what was happening I got my things & left. I was so ashamed of what i did I had to write my feelings out because i was to scared to admit to anyone i cheated on my boyfriend. I was always against cheaters. I hated anyone who would do anything like that.

I decided that i would not tell him because i knew things would be over forever. And i couldnt stand losing him. I know keeping something like that from him is the worst thing i could possibly do. But i couldnt think of another way to say it. So i wrote about it in my diary to get it off my chest.

He came over a few days ago. I was at work. I had a weird feeling in my tummy. I couldnt think the whole day. Something wasnt right. All day long i had this "feeling". i knew something wasnt the same. I got home & he looked the door to my room. i knocked & he finally opened it. i could tell he was crying. He hugged me & said "i did something wrong" i already knew. He read all the things i was ashamed of. Stuff i wish no one ever knew about me. He knew i cheated on him. He screamed & yelled at me the whole day. I couldnt say anything, all my trust was gone. All my words ment nothing. My whole life will never be he same.

He wants to try to make it work. But im so scared he will never get over what i've done to him. i regret it down to the very bottom of my heart. I wish i never hurt him. i cant stand myself. i feel so depressed. in a way i wish he would leave me because i deserve nothing but hate from him. It hurts me that he wants to stay with me. I will never do anything like that again in my life. it affects me so much i cant even live with myself and what ive done.

Even though i was "drunk" theres no excuse for what i did.

Im giving up my whole life to be with him.

no more parties, no more drinking, no more being alone with people.

i lost his trust. and now i have rules.

IM trying so hard to prove im worth his time.

im scared he might take advantage of what ive done.

i dont know what to expect.

please help me anyway you can.

advice anything.

thanks for reading.

---

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I moved to Sacramento recently and made a few friends. Me & my boyfriend decided to choose a long distance relationship. Everything was great. I mean we had our ups & downs But overall things were perfect. We don't see each other as much as we used to. But its mostly every 2-3 weeks he comes over for the weekend.

I was hanging out with one of my friends i met. He just happened to be a guy. He took me to a party and it was my fault. i thought i could trust him. i was having too much fun i decided to drink alittle too much. Even though i told him when i first met him i have a boyfriend, he took advantage and we had sex. When i realized what was happening I got my things & left. I was so ashamed of what i did I had to write my feelings out because i was to scared to admit to anyone i cheated on my boyfriend. I was always against cheaters. I hated anyone who would do anything like that.

I decided that i would not tell him because i knew things would be over forever. And i couldnt stand losing him. I know keeping something like that from him is the worst thing i could possibly do. But i couldnt think of another way to say it. So i wrote about it in my diary to get it off my chest.

He came over a few days ago. I was at work. I had a weird feeling in my tummy. I couldnt think the whole day. Something wasnt right. All day long i had this "feeling". i knew something wasnt the same. I got home & he looked the door to my room. i knocked & he finally opened it. i could tell he was crying. He hugged me & said "i did something wrong" i already knew. He read all the things i was ashamed of. Stuff i wish no one ever knew about me. He knew i cheated on him. He screamed & yelled at me the whole day. I couldnt say anything, all my trust was gone. All my words ment nothing. My whole life will never be he same.

He wants to try to make it work. But im so scared he will never get over what i've done to him. i regret it down to the very bottom of my heart. I wish i never hurt him. i cant stand myself. i feel so depressed. in a way i wish he would leave me because i deserve nothing but hate from him. It hurts me that he wants to stay with me. I will never do anything like that again in my life. it affects me so much i cant even live with myself and what ive done.

Even though i was "drunk" theres no excuse for what i did.

Im giving up my whole life to be with him.

no more parties, no more drinking, no more being alone with people.

i lost his trust. and now i have rules.

IM trying so hard to prove im worth his time.

im scared he might take advantage of what ive done.

i dont know what to expect.

please help me anyway you can.

advice anything.

thanks for reading.

---

 

Hey,

 

Get over it. Your guy is cheating too. Don't think for a minute that those long term relationships work.

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Hey,

 

Get over it. Your guy is cheating too. Don't think for a minute that those long term relationships work.

 

Sometimes relationships do actually work and neither person cheats.....

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LaughMachine
Hey,

 

Get over it. Your guy is cheating too. Don't think for a minute that those long term relationships work.

 

 

Wow what a negative reply. But hey could be true:(

 

Don't beat your self up over it. Most people who cheat don't even give a rats butt about it at all.

 

People make mistakes, were sinners remember? Learn from your mistakes and if he wants to stick it out with you than you are getting a great opportunity because if I was him I'da already left your ass haha Just kidding

 

Good luck

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Oh here we go.

 

Hey 1DB, seeing as you look down your nose at oh EVERYBODY on loveshack, why DO you waste your time on here?

Your little "pearls of wisdom" wisecracks are harsh and mean.

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LaughMachine
Oh here we go.

 

Hey 1DB, seeing as you look down your nose at oh EVERYBODY on loveshack, why DO you waste your time on here?

Your little "pearls of wisdom" wisecracks are harsh and mean.

 

 

She lives in her own world and her own perception of it is NEGATIVE. Probaly because It's all shes seen.

 

Pretty stupid to actually leave that comment because even if she percieves that to be true it PROBALY ISN'T.

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Oh here we go.

 

Hey 1DB, seeing as you look down your nose at oh EVERYBODY on loveshack, why DO you waste your time on here?

Your little "pearls of wisdom" wisecracks are harsh and mean.

 

Thank you,

 

Just constructive criticism. The truth hurts the romantic most.

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LaughMachine
Thank you,

 

Just constructive criticism. The truth hurts the romantic most.

 

 

This is the internet though. How would you at all be able to even slightly judge her boyfriend, you literally have no idea what kind of guy he is.

 

 

Truth does hurt. Psh when It's backed up with facts and evidence. Get out of your perception, it isn't reality........

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This is the internet though. How would you at all be able to even slightly judge her boyfriend, you literally have no idea what kind of guy he is.

 

 

Truth does hurt. Psh when It's backed up with facts and evidence. Get out of your perception, it isn't reality........

 

 

He's a guy. My favorite kind!

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LaughMachine

Well believe it or not there are guys out there who don't cheat. I know it seems like it but there are some...

 

You can't just give advice to someone acting like you know the truth behind their relationship.

 

You are one dead Bia. lol sucks

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so you think all guys are cheaters?

or all long distance relationships are doomed?

i know for a fact my bf would never do that.

after me doing that **** to him, how he feels

he would never want anyone to be hurt how i hurt him.

so stfu

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Well believe it or not there are guys out there who don't cheat.

 

true, true

 

Most people who think all guys cheat have either been cheated on loads, or are cheaters.

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so you think all guys are cheaters?

or all long distance relationships are doomed?

i know for a fact my bf would never do that.

after me doing that **** to him, how he feels

he would never want anyone to be hurt how i hurt him.

so stfu

 

NO smiffers. You have had the misfortune to have a LS poster reply to you who has little compassion for others and views this whole website as a joke where they can get their laughs.

NO all men aren't cheaters.

 

YES you did a terrible thing, and there is no way you can change that.

 

Unfortunately you have damaged the trust in your R, and it will take a VERY long time to rebuild that, and youneed to be prepared for the fact that you may never be able to rebuild it.

A LDR needs trust to work.

Your BF may not be able to forgive you, but the best you can do for nowis to be a good GF.

Don't smother him or pester him. Give him time.

 

Good luck

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so you think all guys are cheaters?

or all long distance relationships are doomed?

i know for a fact my bf would never do that.

after me doing that **** to him, how he feels

he would never want anyone to be hurt how i hurt him.

so stfu

 

The relationship isn't doomed if you accept reality. If he loves you that much, he will forgive you. If you love him that much, you won't hurt him again. Just be honest with him and yourself. Feeling he doesn't deserve you is just wrong. That is a decission for him to make. For your sake I hope he doesn't believe 'once a cheater, always a cheater'.

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The relationship isn't doomed if you accept reality. If he loves you that much, he will forgive you. If you love him that much, you won't hurt him again. Just be honest with him and yourself. Feeling he doesn't deserve you is just wrong. That is a decission for him to make. For your sake I hope he doesn't believe 'once a cheater, always a cheater'.

 

OMG is that a sincere post I see before me?

 

And one I agree with.

Good advice 1DB.

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OMG is that a sincere post I see before me?

 

And one I agree with.

Good advice 1DB.

 

 

It's reality.

 

As real as I am...Your too rosey.

 

It goes both ways.

 

If I where her, I would prepare myself for that day 30 years from now when she playfully says 'Don't you trust me?' and she gets a kneejerk response referencing this event. Then again, how do you prepare for that?

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well heres another thing. we will both be moving back to our hometown in 2 months. so we will see eachother everyday. this LDR was only for a few months.

you said dont smother him. he tells me to call him.

but when i do he sounds annoyed.

im confused. if i dont call ill make it worse.

but i feel like im making it worse anyways.

 

he says he forgives me. that he could never leave me.

hes giving me a second chance. which im kinda iffy about.

im scared hes gonna just realize what he is doing & break up with me.

im prepared for that. i just cant get that outta my head.

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It's reality.

 

As real as I am...Your too rosey.

 

It goes both ways.

 

If I where her, I would prepare myself for that day 30 years from now when she playfully says 'Don't you trust me?' and she gets a kneejerk response referencing this event. Then again, how do you prepare for that?

 

Yeah, true.

 

i am not rosey, i just try to look at things objectively.

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Am I missing something here?

 

What kind of relationship did you have anyway, if he comes to your place and reads your diary......I thought that is considered a...no, no.

 

Did he go through your phone bills and read your mail?

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Good point, but shes not really in a good position to be challenging that really is she?

 

unless she wants to risk the R ending altogether.

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we were together for a year. he would come visit me.

he was bored while i was at work.

so i guess he was looking through my stuff & found my journal.

i had alot of crap i didnt want anyone to know.

& he found out what i did.

thats it.

 

ohhhh now he wants to check my messeges on myspace.

i cant complain cause if that happened to me id be like that too.

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How the hell do you delete a message....

 

I meant......this is tragic:

 

"ohhhh now he wants to check my messeges on myspace.

i cant complain cause if that happened to me id be like that too"

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