careless guys

[yes]

how do I deal with the damn careless guys?

 

guys who say - ill call in an hour & call in 4 hrs. not that it matters when he calls - but if he already said in an hour, it should be in an hour!

- or guys who talk to u on the phone, and then say they'll call you back because they have to go have lunch w/ their whoever, and call back 4-5 hrs later... shdn't he call back right after lunch? considering we had smth to discuss, not just chit-chat.

 

the only way i see is to not pick up the phone if it's past "one hour later"...

 

actually mentioning it to them is useless, no?

 

also, is this carelessness a character trait, or a sign that he rlly doesn't care much? or could it be either one?...

 

thanks,

-yes

[Tony T]

I have found that time means a lot to some, very little to others.

 

It's always wrong to should on people. Demanding that somebody behave in a particular way is wrong. Expecting that someone will do anything when they say they will is setting yourself up for disappointment. Consider it a major bonus when they do.

 

I think if someone is consistently off in what they tell you, then a discussion is in order. But if you want to be happy in life, give up demanding people do things when they say they will because the majority just have no sense of urgency and no sense of time.

 

Yes, I do think people will call a lady right on the money if they consider her important to them....but, on the other hand, a smart guy probably won't do that just so her curiosity will build and she will be that much happier when he does call.

 

When a guy finds out just how important it is for him to call you on time, he'll probably do a better job it. When this really gets on your nerves, if you must allow it to, then have a talk with him...or anyone who is doing this.

[yes]

I actually did talk to him... and he said he was sorry, he didnt notice he was doing that.

 

for me, it's OK if it's just a slip now n then, but when there's a stream of carelessness, I get mad at the person. I don't like feeling like the lowest priority...

 

i think the problem is solved though...

 

thanks =)

-yes

[yes]

the problem is zero solved, apparently...

 

he said last night that he'd call me in the afternoon. it's already evening, and of course he hasnt called. now, he was studying for an exam all day, which he's writing right now, so i suppose i should give him a break. although it was his idea that he'll call me so i can wish him luck for the exam.

 

hmm,

- yes

[ACE123]

My theroy:

 

"Say what you mean, and mean what you say."

 

Anything else is just noise!

 

Cheers!

 

ACE123

[Tony T]

It's probably a bad sign and a hint of things to come when somebody doesn't keep their word, about calling, about when they will call, or about most anything.

 

It also may be a sign of immaturity or bad parental training. Who knows and who cares. You should be on notice that for whatever reason, he doesn't do what he says he's going to do.

[clia]

Choose your battles wisely. If this is a big deal to you, casually mention it to him, but not in a nagging manner.

 

Here's what I would do instead, though, because I've found that guys learn better from actions, not words.

 

If he said he was going to call in an hour and failed to call until hours later, I would either (1) not pick up the phone when he did get around to calling, or (2) not be home later on when he got around to calling. Some people might call this game playing. I don't think it is. There's no reason on this Earth why he should expect you (not saying that he does) to sit around and wait for him to call. If he doesn't call when he says he'll call, all bets are off. From that point forward, you are entitled to go on with your life and do your thing. Eventually, he'll realize that if he wants to get a hold of you, that he should call when he says he'll call. Whether he's doing this on purpose or because he just forgot doesn't matter. It's rude!

 

Ultimately, if he does this consistently, you need to decide if it's something you can live with. If not...NEXT.

[yes]

good point, clia. i did do that - not pick up the phone - he simply leaves a msg saying ohh i guess i called too late - please call me when u'r free.

 

as to whether i can live with it ... i can, easily, IFF (if and only if) it doesn't mean that he doesn't care or is taking me for granted. the fact of not calling itself doesnt bother me; but i see something behind it (i.e. calling me is low on his priority list) which is why it bothers me ...

 

 

thanks for your comments,

-yes