Is there a way to get a second chance?

[MitchHambone]

Hello, I'm a 16yr old grade 11 high school student and i have a problem.

 

It all started in grade nine, when i met this great girl, we went out for about a month and everything was great accept for the fact that whenever i brought her up around my father, he'd always say you have to get rid of her eventually he wouldn't let me see her anymore and i had to let her go only when i talked to her about it she didn't understand, and i wasn't able to tell her the truth some time after this incident. About a year later, i told her the truth and she says its ok but its over and my feelings for you have changed.

 

Now the feelings are back more than ever, i sleep and i dream about her, i listen and i hear her voice, i talk and i hear her name! I know this might sound like an obsession to you and it might very well be.

 

But my question is, is there any way to get her back i have regained her trust and we have become good friends but i dont want to risk that friendship just to get my heart smooshed like i did to her 2 years previous. I know that i have to take a risk to make things happen, but i ask you, what would you do in my shoes? Is this something that will continue to bother me my whole life, or should i let go and try my best to move on? Is there a way for me to get a second chance?

 

Thank you in advance

 

P.S. I know this might seem bad for me to say all this and you guys might be sick after reading this, but c'mon were you not in my shoes once, some say that a 16yr old can't love, i ask you, is this true?

[Tony T]

The fact that you have a nice friendship with her is a good step in the right direction.

 

If you really do love this lady and you want her in your life for a long time, continue to be her friend.

 

The drawbacks are that she is young and she will meet and date lots of guys before she is ready to settle down. Some ladies get married when they're 18 but these days most people are putting off marriage until their mid-20s and even later. Chances are if this gal is on the ball, she'll put off marriage for quite a long time.

 

So if you try to move in now, and she responds favorably, it's almost guaranteed that you will be crushed at some point because she's not nearly ready for a long term committment. Now if it's just a short term dating situation you're after, you should let her know of your romantic interest.

 

But being her friend and continuing to endear yourself to her puts you in an excellent position for the future. Once in a while, you have to do something outside the framework of a platonic friend. Touch her on the hiney, give her a quick kiss, put your arms around her....just any little thing to keep her thinking there may be some romance there in the future.

 

Understand, being her friend may subject you to some pain because she may see other guys...even have relationships...while she is your friend. You may get ignored for periods of time...but she will be back. If that bothers you, then you have to take that into consideration. As a friend, you can't stand in her way of seeing other guys. But don't even worry about that, either. No matter who she may date, you'll always be in the back of her mind. That's a good thing.

 

I do sense that you want some romance with her now...and if that's correct, then simply let her know in bits of a period of time and then let her know plain and simply. Don't be discouraged if she rejects that idea. Just continue to be her friend. If she accepts your advance, clearly understand that because of her age it's not likely to be a keeper...at least not now.

 

If you really have patience and you show her you can be a really great companion for her through thick and thin, the opportunity for romance will surely arrive. The only thing you have to do is recognize that opportunity and move in while the window is open...before she finds someone else.

[MitchHambone]

Thanks Tony,

 

Thats what i needed to hear.

 

P.S. Thanks for taking my message seriously because few would.