Interference from GF's Friend

[TheRock]

I've been dating my GF for 8 months and we've been talking engagement, etc. She's going to be 30 and I'm 35.

 

Her best girl friend "X". "X" is single and can't keep a guy. X and my GF are the only 2 of the girls left not married or engaged. X has slept with 6 guys since January. Everytime she's w\o a guy, she calls on my GF to go to the clubs with her so she can hopefully meet someone new. My GF feels bad and goes w\her, often having to talk to the guys friends while "X" hooks up. I'm uncomfortable w\this and don't know what to say to my GF. I'm not jealous, just don't think it's right at this point in our relationship for my GF to still be going to "hook-up" bars as her "wing-man". I think "X" needs to find more single friends to hang with. Her friend and I are often "competing to go out w\my GF on the weekend. It's sick. She feels she has to get her 1st!

 

THE PROB- This weekend is my GF's B-Day & X wants to "take her out" for her B-Day while I'm working Sat nite. She's not taking her out to be nice. She's doing it to meet new guys and using the B-Day as an excuse to get my GF to go out w\her. She often deserts my GF when she meets someone and then my GF gets hit on. I don't know why they can't just go to dinner during the week or shopping, etc. I have no prob w\them going out on the wknd. It's the fact that they're going so her friend can hook up. There's a difference b\t going out to tlk w\each other and going out to meet people. What do I say to my GF w\o sounding Jealous?

[Sevenmack]

Let's deal with the friend first: Your first problem isn't the friend. The friend can't lead your girlfriend by the nose. She has a mind of her own and makes her own choices regarding friends and leisure activities. So forget the friend.

 

The problem you have is with your girlfriend. She chooses to hang out with a friend who has some real issues with men and doesn't deal with them well. Your girlfriend also has issues choosing whether to hang out with your or her friend. And she goes to clubs with her friend, serving as her wingwoman for hookups. The latter isn't a problem; so long as she's not engaging in any funny business, she can go out to clubs if she wants.

 

What seems concerning is whether your girlfriend is choosing to hang out more often with her friend than with you. If this is so, you need to address it and lay it out for her. You want to spend more time with her, not to the point of not letting her hang out with pals and have a life of her own, but you want a deeper relationship. On that score, you need to communicate this and work towards a middle road solution.

 

As far as going out to the club on her birthday night: Again, that isn't a problem so long as she's not hooking up with other men. But so far, you haven't offered any evidence that she may be doing that. So on that end, the only thing I can say is to chill out and take her out to dinner the night before or the night after.