loveknot Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 It is like we are some how afraid of each other - not wanting to talk to each other. In the art class, our communication is normal but as soon as it is over, we engage in an endless conversation at the parking lot- sometimes, it is me who ends it. One night, it was cold and everybody was in rush, we engaged in a conversation( it was her who started) but she never noticed it was cold. Am I missing something here? Perhaps, perhaps not. The other night, we were talking to each other about something on artwork but she was kind of lost not knowing what she was talking about. When I am talking to her she doesn't look anywhere else except my face. Iam confused !!! Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 It is like we are some how afraid of each other - not wanting to talk to each other. In the art class, our communication is normal but as soon as it is over, we engage in an endless conversation at the parking lot- sometimes, it is me who ends it. One night, it was cold and everybody was in rush, we engaged in a conversation( it was her who started) but she never noticed it was cold. Am I missing something here? Perhaps, perhaps not. The other night, we were talking to each other about something on artwork but she was kind of lost not knowing what she was talking about. When I am talking to her she doesn't look anywhere else except my face. Iam confused !!! I saw this and didn't know how to respond because I didn't know the context. I read some of your previous posts. First off, pardon me if I am wrong but I'm guessing your not from the U.S. or Anglo culture - are you European or Asian or South American by chance? What is your wife's nationality? And if you don't mind my asking, which country are you in now? It just gives me background, that's all. Seems to me like the Japanese girl is interested in you. I will tell you that, generally speaking, Japanese women do not necessarily feel guilty about cheating on their husbands. That's not an indictment of Japanese women; it's just pointing out that there are cultural differences at play here. Japanese women do not feel guilt; they feel shame, which is similar but not the same. Guilt is internal; the voice inside your head which says "Ya know, this is not a very nice thing to do". Shame (or the fear of shame) is the voice inside your head that says "If I get caught doing this, there will be some major drama I don't need". If she wants to have an affair with you, the key question in her mind will be "What's the cost-benefit analysis here? Can I get away with this, and what would happen if I do get caught? Is it worth it?" Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveknot Posted March 29, 2007 Author Share Posted March 29, 2007 I would appreciate if you only give some constructive ideas on my comment. Iam here to look for ideas on what could possible mean all those signs I have been getting from jap girl. Any ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 I would appreciate if you only give some constructive ideas on my comment. Iam here to look for ideas on what could possible mean all those signs I have been getting from jap girl. Any ideas? As I said, it would seem that she is interested in you. Japanese women are very shy and typically feel comfortable talking to men they feel comfortable with. Often they will put on a smiley face and be nice to people they have no interest in, but if she is initiating the conversation, and if she is smiling at you, and if she seems to enjoy talking to you, I would say she's interested in you. Japanese women are typically aware of personal space, so I would not expect her to touch you or anything, but based on your account, I think she's somewhat interested. Japanese women also feel more comfortable in groups of people at first, and then, when they feel safe around you, they will feel more comfortable with you alone. I want to be clear: I'm not encouraging you to cheat, but you asked and I responded. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveknot Posted March 29, 2007 Author Share Posted March 29, 2007 You seem to know the Jap culture! what's your opinion if I invite her for a coffee next time? Do you think that 's crossing the traditional jap rules? Remember, Iam the one taking the decision at the end and you should not feel sorry just because you are helping me out in this "lost in translation thing". Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 You seem to know the Jap culture! what's your opinion if I invite her for a coffee next time? Do you think that 's crossing the traditional jap rules? Remember, Iam the one taking the decision at the end and you should not feel sorry just because you are helping me out in this "lost in translation thing". That's as far as my advice goes, bud. Link to post Share on other sites
Dadaal Posted April 1, 2007 Share Posted April 1, 2007 Women are always mysterious, it is difficult to read their intentions. Reading your post and taking into account the comment of the other member, I'd suggest you not to go further into discovering her inner feelings. It may mean that she just enjoys your conversations and respects you as a good classmate. Some married women still do give men some flirty signs but be careful of your intentions. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveknot Posted April 3, 2007 Author Share Posted April 3, 2007 Women are always mysterious, it is difficult to read their intentions. Reading your post and taking into account the comment of the other member, I'd suggest you not to go further into discovering her inner feelings. It may mean that she just enjoys your conversations and respects you as a good classmate. Some married women still do give men some flirty signs but be careful of your intentions. Thanks for your advice. Link to post Share on other sites
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