She keeps in contact with me...but why?

[badian]

Here's an update to the above situation.... (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend in Germany Situation posted March 15th.)

 

I admit....I did start to wonder about her feelings. There's a good chance I might go back to work in Germany, but not for her. (this summer) So, like an idiot I wrote a letter about how I wanted to get back together..... her mixed signals, the pics she sent, etc. blah, blah, blah.

 

She wrote me back saying that it's not going to happen, we both moved on, and that she's in a relationship, and she just wants to keep in contact with me. Then she calls me the following week. Apologizing for the mixed signals, admits to being confused, sorry that she hurt me, and doesn't want to argue. I just said, "no it's my fault...you're German and you're just being friendly", and none of this means anything.(the last part...I didn't say, but sure as hell thought it!) And I said, "hey now I know where you stand. Best of luck to you with your relationship and plans and I can truly move on."

 

Ok, but why keep in contact with me? We not going to get back together, so why keep the contact. I don't call her, she calls me, once a month. And I don't know why...I feel, I just humor her, but I told her when she started this thing, to keep it cool, don't compare me to him, and don't mention your current bf. I don't want to know anything about him. And her response to me wanting to keep the contact simple...."Just like an American...you want to keep it so simple....I don't want it simple." I thought, I was going to choke her through the pc microphone, she has issues.

 

I keep telling myself that this "contact" isn't going to last long. If I do go back to Germany this summer for work, a good part of me doesn't want to even tell her or let her know that I'm in the country. She says if I do come, I will come visit you....the funny thing is that I'm not sure that I would want to see her, the bad thing is I will be in the next city over..about an hour away.

 

And all of this "contact" while she has a boyfriend. It really makes me wonder....the poor bastard has no idea that his girl, calls her ex, sends pics, request pics, and really wants know if I'm dating. Great start for a relationship! She's not even respecting the guy she's with. And it makes me wonder....was she doing that ****, while she was with me? I'd like think not....but it does make me wonder.

 

Please advise...next steps or at least how to look at the madness....

 

I'm not dating, just meeting and talking to women...totally casual but I feel it's really none of her business.

 

Badian

[CaliGuy]

She isn't sure about the guy she is with but she wants to keep you on the back burner just in case things don't work out.

 

Do you want to be second best? If so, keep staying in contact with her. If not, break off the contact. If she really wants to be with you she'll make it happen. You don't have to do a thing.

[thecount]

Here's an update to the above situation.... (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend in Germany Situation posted March 15th.)

 

I admit....I did start to wonder about her feelings. There's a good chance I might go back to work in Germany, but not for her. (this summer) So, like an idiot I wrote a letter about how I wanted to get back together..... her mixed signals, the pics she sent, etc. blah, blah, blah.

 

She wrote me back saying that it's not going to happen, we both moved on, and that she's in a relationship, and she just wants to keep in contact with me. Then she calls me the following week. Apologizing for the mixed signals, admits to being confused, sorry that she hurt me, and doesn't want to argue. I just said, "no it's my fault...you're German and you're just being friendly", and none of this means anything.(the last part...I didn't say, but sure as hell thought it!) And I said, "hey now I know where you stand. Best of luck to you with your relationship and plans and I can truly move on."

 

Ok, but why keep in contact with me? We not going to get back together, so why keep the contact. I don't call her, she calls me, once a month. And I don't know why...I feel, I just humor her, but I told her when she started this thing, to keep it cool, don't compare me to him, and don't mention your current bf. I don't want to know anything about him. And her response to me wanting to keep the contact simple...."Just like an American...you want to keep it so simple....I don't want it simple." I thought, I was going to choke her through the pc microphone, she has issues.

 

I keep telling myself that this "contact" isn't going to last long. If I do go back to Germany this summer for work, a good part of me doesn't want to even tell her or let her know that I'm in the country. She says if I do come, I will come visit you....the funny thing is that I'm not sure that I would want to see her, the bad thing is I will be in the next city over..about an hour away.

 

And all of this "contact" while she has a boyfriend. It really makes me wonder....the poor bastard has no idea that his girl, calls her ex, sends pics, request pics, and really wants know if I'm dating. Great start for a relationship! She's not even respecting the guy she's with. And it makes me wonder....was she doing that ****, while she was with me? I'd like think not....but it does make me wonder.

 

Please advise...next steps or at least how to look at the madness....

 

I'm not dating, just meeting and talking to women...totally casual but I feel it's really none of her business.

 

Badian

My ex did this while she was with me. She called her ex all the time, went to a wedding with him, and parties. Till I found out. Oh, I so sorry. Now she wants me back. No thank you.

 

Girls like that can not be trusted.

 

Caliguy is right. Do you want to be sencond best? I don't think so. I like to think you have more respect for yourself. Let her go, if she wants you she knows how to reach you. But think long and hard before you take her back. Becareful for what you ask for....

 

Caliguy is