DrumMajor13 Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 It's been a rocky year since my ex broke up with me. We were first loves, together for a long time, blah blah... he broke up with me for another woman. Well, they're relationship sucked and he treated her like crap. He ended up cheating on her with me (after telling me that they were on a break)... and telling me all this stuff about how he'll always love me and i'm his best friend, the only one he really trusts and sometimes he regrets breaking up with me for her. And she's just a rebound and a mistake... but then he went back to her, for reasons unknown... but he never cheated on me physically. We stayed friends but he changed a LOT since we broke up. he used to be SUCH a good, trustworthy guy... now he drinks all the time, he shoplifted alcohol a couple times, i heard from a trustworthy source that he had told the women he left me for that he hated me and was soo glad to be out of our relationship. But i confronted him about this and he admitted to the alcohol and stealing (tho claims he only did it a couple times and doesn't do it anymore) but wholeheartedly denies every talking badly about me. So the other day, after finding all of that out, i basically told him i couldn't do it anymore, i couldn't stay friends with him because it hurt too much to watch him go down the road he's on. he claims it isn't right because "the people i heard this from are lying and always talking ****". (tho i've known these people for years and they wouldn't do that). At the moment, he said fine and gave up, but later that night had his friend call me (how mature *sarcasm*) and tell me that he talks about me all the time and asked me if i could see myself marrying him. Then today, he sent me a message simply saying "I love you". I know him, i know he wants me back... it's another case of "don't know what you've got til' it's gone" but i just don't trust him. I can't be with someone i don't trust. I'll always love him but that doesn't mean i can be with him again. I've got a lot going for me, a great career opportunity, going to school, getting my degree, getting my life back on track after losing a lot of friends after high school. The friends i gained back would never respect or trust me again. My question is... do i give him a chance... tell him he's going to have to work for it and prove to me that i can trust him and he won't betray me or hurt me again. Or do i tell him it's just too little too late and that i can't let myself get hurt again. I'm not asking for criticism, i'm asking for your honest opinion on what i should do, as if you were in this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 He sounds like bad news...for himself, for you, for his gf. I don't think you really want to get sucked back into his drama. There's no need. There are a lot of men out there and you have a lot ahead of good things ahead of you. Don't let him drag you back into a place where you have to wonder what the truth is. Link to post Share on other sites
daphne Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 Drum, You have a hard time trusting him because he's showing repeatedly through his actions that he's untrustworthy. I would believe that he has bad mouthed you. He hasn't acted remotely honorably, so the benefit of the doubt would be overly generous. Simply, this guy is a loser. He's not good for a relationship. If you want a bad relationship, take him back. If you want something better for yourself, move forward and be better to attract someone better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DrumMajor13 Posted March 29, 2007 Author Share Posted March 29, 2007 Well i did it. I told him it's a no -go and to please just let me get on with my life and respect my decision. No more calls at three a.m., no more showing up at my work, just no more. I won't lie, i'm pretty proud of myself. It took me a year to finally do it, but i finally did what's best for me and stopped believing his lies and letting him get away with everything. It's over. Thank you for your input. Link to post Share on other sites
tragicglands Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 I won't lie, i'm pretty proud of myself. That's strength of character. Well done, you. Link to post Share on other sites
Ssheena Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 BRAVO! You did put yourself first! Way to be strong. Link to post Share on other sites
capri Posted April 1, 2007 Share Posted April 1, 2007 You did the right thing. Link to post Share on other sites
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