Claims she wants me but cant be with me....

[Broken_Up_But_There]

Me n my x were together for a year and a half...From tha beginning we had numerous things counting against us. She was asian i am black...She culdnt get out that much n a whole lot more...but we had a great relationship...u kno....goin to movies sumtymes sneakin over to her house...her being accepted to my house....she was my first love and broke my v-card..she was pregnant at one point in i was styll there willing to stick it out.i tried my hardest to do everything i culd and can still do for her...but its like she doesn't notice n e thing i do when she's argueing with me....when we argue she tries to runn off tha fone or u kno jus run frum the situation...i like to work things out so i wont hav a problem with her...so i basically make her stay on the fone and we eventually work it out that nite....when we do hav arguements over stupid things it gets bad....i mean bad to tha point where threats r made....

 

many times before howevr, she gets too influenced by outsiders when its our relationship....like when sum new kid came n town and she chylled with him evrywhere....even tryed to plan leaving town with him....howevr i trusted her still becuz me n tha guy became extra cool....she switched up goin to homecoming with me based on whether or not he was going....she denies it..but he tells me himself thats wut happend....now they rnt friends like that but, her cousins came n town on my burthday....two days be4 my burthday we went out to eat and had a great time....and then on my burthday she gets mad cuz im constanly calling her n she culdnt even tell me happy burthday...i get into it wit her gurl cousin who takes her fone n keeps on hangin up on me...i later call bac n apologize...she has me on speaker whn like 5 of her guy cousins r playing round wit me on tha fone making threats...of course imma make them rite bac....but i didnt kno i was on speaker...so now tha whole family mom and dad included hates me....they say they dont want to hear from me n e more....n lately she's been hanging wit her cousins a lot...bad crowd...but she claims she needs a lil freedom which i understand but when i call and i get ignored or not picked up on its a completly new her....she, like i said earlier, gets too easily influenced...i dont get it....i giv all i can...she started smokin also....

 

i feel bad n send flowers and a letter apologizing to each family member in the house and out....her parents say o well...n still dont want me round....she tells me there goin to get a restraining order against me...but wut recently set it off is yesterday she acted pretty cool wit me at scoo n then later i check her page n it says *** me(my name)...and then she has pictures of her n sum other guy on there....one of her cousins friends....yet she trys to explain everthing as a joke...i dont kno wut to do n e more....dont want to b a quiter but i need her u kno...i cryed n front of her my bestfriend my parents and even a counsler at one point in our relationship and she obviouslly still doesnt see how much i care...i wuld seriously kill for her.she thinks i want sum gurl that i supposably asked to tha movies past friday....n she says she loves me but cant b with me rite now....based on wut i wrote...wut do i do?

[LakesideDream]

Teen angst, ain't it illiterate?

[vivrantflo]

Hey man, how's it going? From the sound of your post, it appears that you two have gone through a lot things..more downs than ups.. I've been through a failed pregnancy situation before, and it's a very traumatic situation for a woman to go through. On top of that, the constant arguing, which leads to threats is never really a good thing either.

 

It sounds like the two of you are really young, and if that's the case man, you shouldnt worry too much about her.. She's playing a lot of silly games, and these games are hurting your heart. You don't want a woman that runs around town with another guy.. or has family members hanging up on you, or parents that want a restraining order against you. Way too much drama for a young man like you to handle.. You did a very honourable thing by apologizing to her parents for your actions on the phone, and that does show character.

 

One thing that I have learned the hard way bro, is that you can't force someone into wanting to be with you. I understand u love her man, but if she's not giving you the proper respect you want in a relationship, then you should move on. Don't call her, email her, anything like that. Give her space.. you'll eventually hear from her again, but hopefully after you've gotten over her, and realized what you want in a relationship. How nice was the girl you took to the movies? If the first date went well, and she's a nice girl, why don't you take her out again and see how that goes??

 

First time giving advice here.. hope it helps! Good luck!

[Javelin]

I couldn't make out a word of that...

[AHIWON]

I can't figure it out either. I keep seeing this more and more. I'm gonna start calling it "the text messaging generation"

[Trialbyfire]

Your first love will always be someone special but I think it's time to move on. She's avoiding the confrontation.

 

Btw, staying by her was a good thing when she was pregnant but it truly is your responsibility too.

[mental_traveller]

Well in this case I know exactly what to do. Basically you have to pull away from her, pay her no attention at all, and have fun hanging out or dating casually with some other girls. Make sure she finds out about it (she probably will anyway, I just mean don't be shy about what you are doing or try to hide it). It will drive her nuts that you no longer appear to care about her or give her attention, she'll get jealous about you hanging out with other girls, and chances are that she'll get back in touch and want to hang out with you again. If she *doesn't* respond at all, then that's bad news because it means she really is not into you at all. In which case forget her and just move on.

 

The trouble is that you seem to be really into her, and it's extremely hard playing cool & ignoring someone if you have fallen hard for them. Try your best though, think of it as training for the future Sometimes younger women get a bit smothered & put off if the guy seems to love them too much; whereas if you are a bit more distant and more of a challenge, they respond and want to win you over. So play it cool and watch how she reacts.

 

The real question though is do you want to do this? She sounds rather immature, easily led, it's not like she is going to be your soulmate for life. There's way too much drama in this relationship. So really I don't think you should try so hard to keep her. Just have fun and take it more casual - act more like a player than a lovesick fool. I'd say the best thing would be to just meet some other girls, have fun with this Asian girl too if you feel like it, but overall try to care a bit less about her and be more independent. You won't be losing anything and you should come out of it better-off. If you're lucky, you might even end up with you two being casual f*ck-buddies, meanwhile you're free to find someone you might be into a bit more.