dating another race

[Patty]

This really upsets me.Theres someone I know from my family who thinks its wrong to date someone of a different race.I certainly think its absolutely ok if your in love with that person and if that person treats you nice.It upsets me when I hear a person say that they want no blacks in the family cause if the person is a nice person then I feel theres nothing wrong with that.Someone in the family says they want no black grandchildren,I just feel its wrong.In my opinion,I just feel this is wrong.

 

 

 

Patty

[quankanne]

I've always thought that it was more important to see what's inside a person's heart (is he or she a good person, someone I can trust?) than the color of that person's skin. It's kept me out of a lot trouble.

[Tony T]

I don't think you need to be in love with somebody to date them. As far as dating someone of another race, that's a personal decision to be made completely by the two parties and is none of anybody elses business.

 

I also don't think it's productive to worry about what other people think...unless you're running for political office or you are on trial in front of a jury.

[HokeyReligions]

Well said Tony.

 

I was in a very hot debate on another forum about dating a different race, and marriage to a different race.

 

It turned into an argument that no one could win because there is no right or wrong answer. It's subjective and what one person might think racist - others may not.

 

I may get in trouble here, but I'm entitled to my opinion so I'll state it. I would be very uncomfortable dating someone of a different race. There are a thousand reason's why and none of those reasons are because of hatred or because I think my race is better than any other race. I don't think that at all and I don't think that everyone who feels uncomfortable about dating outside their race is automatically a racist.

 

Besides generational issues, there is still a lot of institutional racism in the world and that can be discriminatory against and for EVERY race, and they have nothing to do with hatred or believing one race is inferior or superior to another. A lot of it is marketing to cultural issues, which can be interpreted as racism or become discriminatory.

[Tony T]

I don't think it's wrong for not wanting to date somebody from another race just as it's not wrong for not wanting to date somebody who is shorter or taller, uneducated or overeducated, somebody who abuses drugs or alcohol, etc. Many of us favor blondes, or brunettes, or whatever. There are among us who prefer those who smell a certain way...use a certain perfume or cologne.

 

Everybody's entitled to their own personal preferences in a person they may consider dating...and even more so, marrying.

[pinkroses]

that there is no right or wrong answer to dating outside your race. Because someone doesn't like the idea or wouldn't do it him/herself doesn't automatically mean they are racist. They could be, but it's not something you always know for sure. Some people are outspoken about it, where others could be quietly racist in their hearts. Some don't readily open to the idea because they are inexperienced with it, or have never fallen for someone outside his/her race. Some may love other races, but they just wouldn't be comfortable dating or marrying them.

 

No one can be naiive to the fact that you're going to run up against prejudice and challenges when you partner up with someone of another race. You can't expect everyone to be understanding and accepting. You just have to decide and determine that you and your partner have a love that is willing to withstand that opposition, and in time the boundaries of colors and differences can fade.

[sweetnblonde307]

[color=red]I am totally in love with my boyfriend of 10 months, he is black and I am white. He treats me so very wonderfully and I do my best to treat him just as good. We love each other very much and plan to get married someday. You dont date a race you date a person--regardless of their race. [/color]

[katybird]

I find black men attractive. I find them VERY attractive... yet I would almost never date a black man. I have, a couple of times, and I'm not completely shut off to it - I just figure that dating is complicated enough without bringing race into it. Frankly, I am only a little concerned about what my white friends and family might think - I am much more nervous about what black people will think. To be blunt, I don't really want to deal with hostility from black women.

 

Plus, there are still so many issues about race and none of us are truly innocent of them. I don't want to fetishize someone just because they're taboo or whatever.

 

I think that black men are gorgeous, but I notice that I tend to find black men attractive when they're slightly "ghetto" or something - I like white guys who are intellectual and quircky - but a black man who looks like an NBA star/rapper is very sexy to me. I know that that is fetishizing on my part and I don't think anyone deserves that.

 

I know that many white men fetishize Asian women - and I've talked to plenty of Asian women who find that annoying. Like, "no, we're not your delicate little submissive geisha." It's one thing to honestly appreciate physical characteristics - like my finding lanky young men with gorgeous chocolate-colored skin attractive, or a man finding a petite woman with lustrous dark hair attractive - but race is more than that - it involves ethnic and cultural signifiers that can push some mightly strange buttons in us.