Just friends?

[Tepen]

Ok, so I have been best friends with this girl for over a year now. She and I just click, we think alike, we do pretty much everything together, we enjoy spending time together. We talk about everything, and we never seem to stay mad at each other for very long when we argue.

 

I've had friends before, but nobody like her. She is like my "other half", and vice versa. We're just friends. We've kissed. We've engaged in clothed forms of sexual stimulation. Last night it went furthur and she actually removed her bra. These are a series of incidents that have been going on for a little over 6 months.

 

We like each other ... a lot. The problem is, there is NO SPARK. We've kissed, but it feels kinda dead to both of us. She is not sexually attracted to me, and I am undecided. We laugh about it and joke about how we'll probably get married anyways because it seems to be our "fate" and say how we're both doomed. We joke about it, but it really IS a problem.

 

We don't know what to do. I like her a lot. I have expressed an interest in an actual relationship with her, but she just does not feel that way about me. Both of us are frustrated and confused with the situation, because it seems out of our control.

 

I somehow don't think we're able to stop, because we DO connect on a deeper level and that connection is not just something we can ignore. At the same time though, we don't seem to have a physical attraction to each other, but still have physical needs.

 

I can't speak for her, but I don't think either of us would be happy with any lesser relationship with somebody else. I also know that in the end we might opt for a lesser relationship because we can't find that spark.

 

So I guess my question is, how do we fix this? Is there anyway we can create a spark?

[WarriorRB35]

maybe you two are afraid of what will happen to your friendship if you become more and are maybe afraid of losing the other person if something goes wrong......im in a bit of a situation like that...good luck

[2ndIINone]

So I guess my question is, how do we fix this?

"WE" can't fix it.... but you can.

A person CAN create attraction and make themselves more attractive to another. Providing you do everything right.

 

Simply put....and I can see this just by reading your thread.... she sees you as a 'friend'... but not only as a friend, but like.... one of her girlfriends. Don't take that the wrong way... even though it sounded sooo wrong. But think about it for a minute. If you act like a 'friend' ... you become a 'friend' in her eyes.... therefore, no attraction.....

 

Don't be a 'friend'... but rather... a man. A man worth dating and getting involved with. She currently feels 'safe' with you. Safe is good, but NOT good when trying to progress from friendship to something more. Many many things you can do will make her start to see you differently... your hair, your clothes, join a gym, gain some independence, some confidence, attitude.... etc.... Flirt with her as if SHE can't have you or as if the two of you couldn't/wouldn't work. Attraction takes time.... don't be afraid to date others.... cause she has to see that YOU are attractive to other women... you'd be surprised how you'll look in her eyes after that.