Loneliness.

[Lights]

What do you do when you're feeling lonely, and in daily life you have no real access to non-cliquish, non-judgmental people with whom you have anything in common?

 

As it stands now, the last of my remaining friends is now out of local range, and will soon be leaving a much longer distance away.

 

I dunno. Maybe it's just me whining. But sometimes I feel I could use a casual meetup with good friends now and then, where I don't have to fight my way through backward tribalism or schoolgirlish cliquishness (even at my ancient age, I see the latter phenomenon right before my eyes in workplaces and other locations), and where both/all can talk about things without having to forever watch one's step.

 

What are your thoughts?

[Not_That_Innocent]

Awww - I feel for you. I have a hard time trusting people, therefore I have a hard time keeping friends. Seems like I always trust the wrong people and end up getting hurt, which makes me isolate myself. I have been feeling very lonely as well. I think that is why I spend so much time on this board. People would be surprised to know how lonely I am because I am viewed as very friendly and nice and it's very easy for me to make friends. But I end up pushing them away for some reason or another. Where do you live? Maybe we can be friends.

[knaveman]

This may sound odd, but have you ever thought of going into a neighborhood bar by yourself? I have gone to a bar that's new to me alone and just sat at the bar having a couple of beers. Someone will almost always talk to you and I have even made some decent friends( not great just decent) Bars are still great social experiences, everyone there has a story and usually if you indulge them they will indulge you too. Just a thought.

[Lights]

Awww - I feel for you....People would be surprised to know how lonely I am because I am viewed as very friendly and nice and it's very easy for me to make friends. But I end up pushing them away for some reason or another. Where do you live? Maybe we can be friends.

 

Thanks, that's very nice of you. I tried to message you with the answer to your question.

 

This may sound odd, but have you ever thought of going into a neighborhood bar by yourself? I have gone to a bar that's new to me alone and just sat at the bar having a couple of beers. Someone will almost always talk to you and I have even made some decent friends( not great just decent) Bars are still great social experiences, everyone there has a story and usually if you indulge them they will indulge you too. Just a thought.

I don't know then; things must be different where I come from, and nightlife and I have a history of never getting along. Although I often have gone to bars alone, nothing of the sort has ever happened. (I hate bars, and do not go at all anymore, but I often go alone to other places.) But thanks for your thought.

 

I dunno. I'll see what I can find. Thanks all.

[Starry-eyed]

The way our society is today and the fractured families and transitory communities all make it a challenge for many of us to make friends or feel connected, especially as adults. And I do think that's why the internet and message boards are so popular!

 

Lights, have you thought about approaching one person in the clique, and maybe the clique isn't so clique-y after all, or maybe the people are more interesting than you think. Maybe if you just start to be friendly with one of them, you might find yourself included or just liking them more. Just a thought.

 

Then the old stand-by advice: pursure your interests or hobbies and you might make friends, or volunteer somewhere. I don't know that I would go into a bar alone (I don't drink much), but maybe that is worth a try. I've always had a hard time making real friends, too, so I can relate. And it's easier for me to make casual friends with guys than with girls, but sometimes I just really want girl friends.

 

Or just hang out here more!!