Dadubwa Posted April 3, 2007 Share Posted April 3, 2007 My girlfriend (Jill) and I have had our ups and downs. So we broke up. Last night. The thing is (let me try to keep this short)... The way we got together was at a party totally smashed and we made out. I had a girlfriend (Kara, of about a year and a half) at the time, everything was PERFECT between Kara and I, at the time. I felt awful, but was still very attracted to Jill. (I had been friends with Jill for almost 4 years at that point). She was one of the most carefree people I've ever known. So we both decided to date (when we made out Jill told me she had been crushing on me since the day we met). I told Kara I didn't think we could ever date because I what I did to her...but decided we'd keep in touch though. I suppose I was trying to impress Jill or something when I told her that Kara and I weren't speaking. Time slipped by (within 6 weeks Jill moved in) and about 8 months into our relationship Jill began to change A LOT. She was very aggressive, very controling, she made me see all the bad things about my friends and I lost some of my closest friends ever (4 of them actually), but she took care of me, and loved me SO much. She wanted to know everything though, my passwords, who I had been talking to...all of that. She would ask me constently if I had talked with Kara, and I denied it to avoid any confrontation. Soon enough she found I had been e-mailing Kara ever since we started dating. I've never seen anyone so angry in my life. I promised not to talk to Kara ever again...but the problem is my feelings for Kara never really changed, because she was always such a good person, and so kind, and forgiving...completely different from Jill. About a month ago, Kara IMed me online...we chatted for a few, and I told her that I honestly shouldn't be talking to her because of the promise I made to Jill. She ended on a happy note though....2 days later...she IMed me again... she confessed to me she was still in love with me and never stopped thinking about me...and I agreed. My feelings stayed pretty much the same for Kara, after our conversation I told her we needed to live our own lives for now (since she has a boyfriend), I told her I was in love with Jill and I owe her all of my heart, so I would no longer talk to her unless and until Jill and I broke things off. Last night Jill broke up with me. I deserved it. But she doesn't know I had talked to Kara...(she did have a dream about it.).... I loved Jill with all my heart, I changed everything about myself to mold her life style, and her to mine. But that wasn't enough for some reason our love connection broke off after she moved out (last month). WHAT DO I DO!? Please I need help..PLEASE. Link to post Share on other sites
mistizzle21 Posted April 3, 2007 Share Posted April 3, 2007 You told Kara you're still in love with her, but now you're in love with Jill? What the hell? No really, what the hell. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dadubwa Posted April 3, 2007 Author Share Posted April 3, 2007 There is a difference... Kara...I always had a connect with her, a strong personal connection to her because she's so like me, and we have the same type of emotional feelings twards one another....so it's sort to say I FELL in love with her. Where as Jill...I always thought she was attractive but never thought of her as a dating type...until I found out she was...and we started dating...I realized we're so different, but everything seemed so new and fresh...and then I LEARNED to love her. Does that make more sense? Link to post Share on other sites
krzr Posted April 3, 2007 Share Posted April 3, 2007 you should have gone with the one you fell in love with rather then the one you learned to love. connections like that are what we look for thats what ppl refer to as soulmate stuff but its just meeting someone u have a connection with not ness the "one" cause i think there are alot of great ppl out there to connect with. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 4, 2007 Share Posted April 4, 2007 I think for a while you need to be alone. You can't go back and forth between relationships. If you love Kara, then keep her as a friend for a little while so you can get over the loss of Jill. It's not fair to Kara to get emotionally and physically involved with her right now, even though you still have feelings for her. She also could be hurt that you two broke up and you got together with someone else so quickly afterwards.....Give it time. I wouldn't get back with Jill, you know she's not the one for you, she's very controlling and has her own issues, plus the other night you got a little taste of the other side of her.. Link to post Share on other sites
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