Will she ever come back???

[rokkyr]

How do I get her back?

Last year at the end of of December 2005 I broke off with my girlfriend of 7 yrs because we seemed to be stuck in a rut. We had both had long term marriages., and both got divorced around the same time. When our relationship blossomed. We had a great 7 years of course there were ups and downs during it. Mainly because neither one of us wanted to commit but generally is was really good. We lived in separate house but we stayed (mainly at hers ) every day and night. Just living together but both paying our own bills etc. Some life altering things happened in the months just before the break. That made me think of where our lives, particularly mine was going. I decided to break up and try being single for a while, at the end of 2005 we split. She was devastated. We still remained friends. Throughout the year. I play golf and was playing golf with a woman once a week that used to be both our friends, She did in the early days of playing golf with her ask me if I felt any romantice between us. I said No I liked her just as a friend, we got along well, (I taught her golf and she paid for the games.). I had no romantic feelings for, we were just friends. In March 2006 the golf friend filed for her own divorce. But even though we were just friends my ex felt we were seeing each other romantically, we were not however. any way to cut a long story short I finshed playing golf with that lady friend in Nov 2006 ..My ex and I had remained good friends all year. At the end of 2006 I knew I loved my ex so much and I felt that I wanted to reconcile but not like before this time get married and share everything. When I told her this........... Bam she shut me out. Told me that she was over me. We could be friends but nothing more than that. She did not love me. She said it took her 9 months to get over the heartache of losing me. Now she is moving on. It has been 10 weeks since I asked her to come back. We have a some lunches and a couple of really nice talks and just when I think we are working it out she goes back to being angry and shuts me down again. Because I called too much after a week of no contact.

Is it over ????? or do I stand a chance of getting her back???? . Now because I bugged her too much, she said she did not want me not to call her or anything, she will call me if she wants too. After about 10 days she did call me. It was a nice chat. Then about ten days later again she called again. Again it was nice . Finally I asked out to dinner and we went out it was a real nice evening. But I got a bit pushy and held her hand, she would let me for a while then pull away. We are talking a bit now nut as soon as I mention repairing our relationship . She says we can be just friends. Can anyone please answer me?......have I lost her forever? I love so her so much what can I do? I was a comlete fool. Will some please answer what they think.

[Guest]

You need to do whatever she is asking you to do if you want to even stand a chance. Let her know you will be there anytime she needs you or wants to talk. Apologize again for hurting her and then leave her alone and let her think.

[CaliGuy]

You took the chance of breaking things off and these are the repercussions of those actions. I'm sure you felt strongly before about breaking things off but I would have sat her down and communicated better. This is the same mistake many men have been making for years.

 

LACK OF COMMUNICATION

 

To top it off, you waited almost a year to try and repair the damage while her heart was broken. How can she be sure you won't do the same thing again?

 

The best advice I can give you is to let her go. Let her be free to come back to you if you choose. You can, if you'd like, send her a letter confessing that you made a huge mistake and you know she is the one. You can apologize and say whatever needs to be said.

 

Then let it be.

 

If she wants to come back, she will. The letter will give her the opportunity to know how you really feel. When people are hurt as badly as you hurt her, you can expect that it will take them a long tiem to get over those feelings of resentment.

 

Time, my friend, time after the letter alone for her to figure her head out. There is NO GUARANTEE she will come back. So send the letter and then move on with your life.