frannie Posted April 21, 2007 Share Posted April 21, 2007 No need for apologies. It's good to hear that it CAN be that simple. I know my exMM felt the same although sometimes I read comments on here that make me doubt that. Y'know "if he really loved you, he would be with you no matter what" etc. I admire you, him and others who do what you're doing for sacrificing your own happiness for the sake of your childrens'. That's not to say I have any disrespect for those who leave either (as I did myself - although with my son). You do what you have to do. PS WBA, I don't know your story. Are/were you in love with someone else? I shall try and get some time to read your past posts. I don't know if anyone else has answered this, but yes, he is in love with someone else... he's in love with me And I know what you mean about the 'if he really loved you' posts. But it's not about someone 'really loving you'... its about what's the best thing to do and what feels right. And if someone needs to be with their children then that's what they need to do. What the devil does meeting another woman have to do with that? You can fall in love and NOT give up on current responsibilities. Link to post Share on other sites
overandout Posted April 22, 2007 Share Posted April 22, 2007 He is also in love with his wife. But they never reveal that to the OW. Life shows us that mm who truly do love their OW actually leave home because they want to have a full time committed relationship with that person. The world is full of mm that have left their spouses to marry the OW eventually. It doesnot mean that they do not love or neglect their responsiilites towards their kids. It means that they truly fell in love with the OW and did not want them as a side dish but wanted to grow old with them. These men adjusted to seeing their childrean and maintaining responsibilities to former wives and children whilst moving forward into a loving relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted April 22, 2007 Share Posted April 22, 2007 Question: For those MPs who are genuinely unhappy in their M and genuinely love their OP what are their reasons for not leaving? Do you think it is because the one's who stay with the W don't have the courage to leave or are less selfish, or do they just not love their OP as much as the men who DO leave? It would be great to hear answers to this from MPs who have been in this sitch. I was just wondering as my now exMM chose to stay with his W, even though (he says) he is unhappy and (he says) he loves me (or loved!) So many people say that if the MP loves you enough then he/she will leave whatever the consequences. I do think this is mostly the case as far as MPs without children are concerned but what about those with? My exMM thought I was extremely brave for leaving my partner and father of my son. I wonder if I was just very selfish (I didn't leave for MM I might add!) This said, I do think it is slightly easier for women as they tend to get custody of the kids. I personally think it is braver to stay and be in an unhappy M than it is to get up and leave. What are your views? IMO....marriage is not taken seriously by one or both partners....the vows now read..."till death do us part, or anything that I deem wrong or do not like about you". Possibly not so much selfishness, just making a bad choice and not seeing the person for who they really are and jumping into marriage for whatever reason....the true colors are there in the beginning, they are just unseen. They stay for many reasons.....security, an inability to accept change....so then comes the cheating as a "fix".... Most are very emotionally immature and are in desparate need of help....we can come up with all kinds of excuses and justifications for cheating, but bottom line, it is immature and selfish. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted April 22, 2007 Share Posted April 22, 2007 Most are very emotionally immature and are in desparate need of help....we can come up with all kinds of excuses and justifications for cheating, but bottom line, it is immature and selfish. Exactly. Not only is it immature and selfish to the BW/BH, it's also a lack of respect for the OM/OW. If you expect someone to share you, you devalue all parties by putting yourself before everyone else. Add the continuous need to lie to get what you want and you have the profile of a cheater. A liar and a selfish coward. Link to post Share on other sites
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