chaos40 Posted April 5, 2007 Share Posted April 5, 2007 Lately, my wife has been eating a lot of cheeseburgers. This new behavior has led me to believe she may be having an affair. Have any of you noticed a correlation between eating cheeseburgers and an unfaithful partner? thanks in advance Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted April 5, 2007 Share Posted April 5, 2007 Listen to your gut feelings. If these cheeseburgers are from MacDonalds, your gut should be reacting. More so in my experience with infidelity, it's more hotdogs you have to be concerned about. The smaller hotdogs, you shouldn't be threatened by, but if she's consuming vast amounts of foot long dogs, you'de better have the junk to back you up because you're in it deep. I can hear the comparison comments now... Hope this helped. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chaos40 Posted April 5, 2007 Author Share Posted April 5, 2007 Listen to your gut feelings. If these cheeseburgers are from MacDonalds, your gut should be reacting. More so in my experience with infidelity, it's more hotdogs you have to be concerned about. The smaller hotdogs, you shouldn't be threatened by, but if she's consuming vast amounts of foot long dogs, you'de better have the junk to back you up because you're in it deep. I can hear the comparison comments now... Hope this helped. They are in fact, McDonalds cheeseburgers! To make matters worse I hear that Ronald McDonald is like 6’ 4” and packing an anaconda! I’m really starting to worry!!!! What should I do??? Link to post Share on other sites
Mustang Sally Posted April 5, 2007 Share Posted April 5, 2007 Cut your losses and let her go.... Two all-beef patties with special sauce...How could you ever compete after that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author chaos40 Posted April 5, 2007 Author Share Posted April 5, 2007 Is there any way I could save my marriage? Maybe I could have her try the Atkins diet or something? Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted April 5, 2007 Share Posted April 5, 2007 Trial by Fire, It is absolutely absurd to assume that just since a correlation has been made with indifelity and excessive wiener eating that Chaos40's situation isn't completely different the others posted here and here again. :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Author chaos40 Posted April 5, 2007 Author Share Posted April 5, 2007 I think it's either Ronald Mcdonald or the Hamburgaler ... I'm almost postive Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted April 5, 2007 Share Posted April 5, 2007 Maybe its those big red shoes she's into. You should try to find a pair. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chaos40 Posted April 5, 2007 Author Share Posted April 5, 2007 Maybe its those big red shoes she's into. You should try to find a pair. Geeeezuz! you know what they say about guys who wear big shoes... right? Link to post Share on other sites
AHIWON Posted April 5, 2007 Share Posted April 5, 2007 I hope she is at least using condiments. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 5, 2007 Share Posted April 5, 2007 Lately, my wife has been eating a lot of cheeseburgers. This new behavior has led me to believe she may be having an affair. Have any of you noticed a correlation between eating cheeseburgers and an unfaithful partner? thanks in advance Start following her. See where she goes before she eats the cheeseburger. Link to post Share on other sites
jadedhalo Posted April 5, 2007 Share Posted April 5, 2007 I hope she is at least using condiments. At least, they are flavored. I am trying to see where this is going. Can someone please fill me in on what has happened here? I have read the recent posts, but I do believe that I am missing something here. HELP! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 5, 2007 Share Posted April 5, 2007 I don't think you're missing anything. The original poster thinks his wife is having an affair and the cheeseburger is the clue that she's cheating on him..... Link to post Share on other sites
jadedhalo Posted April 5, 2007 Share Posted April 5, 2007 I don't think you're missing anything. The original poster thinks his wife is having an affair and the cheeseburger is the clue that she's cheating on him..... I see. Well, I would really like to help this poor, misguided person, but don't really know where to start. I am wondering what role the cheeseburgers play. Perhaps, he thinks she is having an affair with some fry cook from Mickey D's. Perhaps, he could shed some more light on the situation.. This, I think, is a bit far fetched, but then again, I guess anything is possible! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted April 5, 2007 Share Posted April 5, 2007 Anacondas are serious business though. Not only can he meet her needs, he can also cuddle post coitally with it. What woman wouldn't want this? This isn't a serious thread. He's mocking the suspicion portion of affairs. Link to post Share on other sites
AHIWON Posted April 5, 2007 Share Posted April 5, 2007 I'd be grilling her for details. Link to post Share on other sites
manders0724 Posted April 5, 2007 Share Posted April 5, 2007 I hope she is at least using condiments. I dont think this would help. The grease from these things get all over the place. You know, napkins, pants.....the sheets Link to post Share on other sites
outofdarkness Posted April 5, 2007 Share Posted April 5, 2007 This is the funniest thread I've read so far...and..I agree w IWWH...it's the big red shoes... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 5, 2007 Share Posted April 5, 2007 I'd be grilling her for details. I love the play on words! Too funny. I only hope we are not making too light on someone's situation. I think the user thinks that his wife is having an affair with someone that works there. He just doesn't know how to put it into words. But, I gotta agree.....Gotta be the shoes! lol Link to post Share on other sites
jadedhalo Posted April 5, 2007 Share Posted April 5, 2007 I'd be grilling her for details. I love the play on words! Too funny. I only hope that we are not making light of a user's situation.....I honestly think that the user thinks his wife is having an affair with someone at McDonald's. Who knows? But, I have to agree......gotta be the shoes. Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted April 5, 2007 Share Posted April 5, 2007 Well don't jump to any conclusions! Have you checked her panties for mustard stains? Does her breath smell like pickles after being out on her own? If so I think you got a bigger problem. Communication is key here. Most likely she is boinkin' the Burger King. He probably treats her like a queen, something you most likely don't do! Or has she had any lesbian experiences or spoke of having a sexual encounter with another woman? I would follow her and see if she is hanging at Wendy's. Of course she could just be getting off with Jack in the Box.... but there is nothing wrong with releasing sexual tension with masturbation to porn and a good vibe. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveLace Posted April 5, 2007 Share Posted April 5, 2007 Tell her if she doesn't stop that you will go to Wendy's. Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted April 5, 2007 Share Posted April 5, 2007 1990sA visit to McDonald's makes your day ([COLOR=#0000ff]United Kingdom[/COLOR])1990sMcDonald's - It can happen ([COLOR=#0000ff]United States[/COLOR])2000We love to see/make you smile2000Put a smile on2001There's a little McDonald's in everyone ([COLOR=#0000ff]Canada[/COLOR] only)2001Things that make you go 'mmm' ([COLOR=#0000ff]Australia[/COLOR], [COLOR=#0000ff]UK[/COLOR] and [COLOR=#0000ff]New Zealand[/COLOR])2002Every time a good time2003[COLOR=#0000ff]i'm lovin' it[/COLOR] (the [COLOR=#0000ff]Justin Timberlake[/COLOR] slogan song) GEEESH! I just found this. Recent slogans for this place. We thought they were selling cheeseburgers when indeed this is nothing more than subliminal advertising for a prostitution ring run through MD's and the money is being laundered in cheeseburgers. I think we are on to something, and CHAOS, I fear you are not the only victim. Somebody call 60 minutes, quick! Link to post Share on other sites
AHIWON Posted April 5, 2007 Share Posted April 5, 2007 In order to better understand this woman, we are gonna need to know what kind of buns she likes. I bet she finds Randy on Trailer Park Boys extremely attractive. The cheese burger hoarding shirtless bastard. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chaos40 Posted April 5, 2007 Author Share Posted April 5, 2007 This is a serious thread. I have several very valid reasons why I'm suspicious which, I will list here. 1. The time it takes to drive from my home to the local McDonalds is approximately 4 minutes. The average time it takes to be served through the drive-up window is 3 minutes. This amounts to a total of 11 minutes taking into consideration the trip going and coming plus the time it takes to be served. On average it takes my wife approximately 13 minutes to come back home after a trip to Mickey Dee's. Can anyone offer a realistic explanation of this time variance? 2. The cheeseburger is technically a sandwich which leads me to believe that she may be into the 2 on 1 thing. If this is true I will be devastated! My next piece of evidence is very deep, symbolic and may prove beyond all doubt the existence of higher being who is guiding us through the use of written codes and miraculous signs. Let's take a moment to examine what type of cheeseburgers she actually eats. She always orders a "A double whopper cheeseburger with extra mayo, ketchup, onions and large fries". Based on this startling fact and a program about the bible code shown on the history channel I decided to attempt and decipher the text above to see if I could find a code interwoven into the sentence describing what she eats. Prepare yourself, the results are SHOCKING! I was able to dissect several key words and phrases in this text which PROVE beyond all shadow of a doubt that GOD is speaking to me through the use of codes and warning me of her deceitful behavior See below A double whopper cheeseburger with extra mayo, ketchup, onions and large fries She is sleeping with another man She is cheating on you infidelity she slept with him All of these words can be derived from the sentence above. I am 100% confident this is NO coincidence! Link to post Share on other sites
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