Abusive Relationship

[bluepandora87]

My boyfriend and I have been together on and off for about a year and a half. It started off really well. About a month later we had our first fight. It was a dumb fight that should have never been an issue. It happened as we were going to the bar in the parking lot. It ended with me going in and him not. At one point I went back out and tried to get him to come in but ended up breaking up with him a few moments later. Well that night ended up with me insanely drunk and pretty much hanging all over someone else. We stayed broke up and I started seeing the guy from the bar. A day or two later I went to the ex's house to get some of my things. He choked me. I didn't feel my life was threatened but it was just like "wow that was crazy." Then I left after I finely got assistance with leaving there from family. I saw this other guy for about a week. Things were not clicking. He was really super nice but I just didn't really like him. The ex was not leaving me alone. I ended up getting back with him and it just got so much worse. It went from a mild choking to a full blown abusive situation. I dealt with it for about three weeks. I thought I deserved it. But after 3 weeks it was just getting worse and worse. I tried to get out. I broke up and found someone else. He was just as bad in a much shorter amount of time. And from there it just pretty much went with that cycle. That lasted about 7 or 8 months. Well at that point it seemed like all I was doing was bringing unecessary people into my crazy life. He would harass me and them. He burned my car, beat me, belittled me, and was just really mean and nasty to me. If he would have just left and never made himself present I would have had no problem with any of the break-ups. He would call and say really nice things and go out of his way to be awesome to me and I aways believed him when he said that the craziness was better and it just never was. Well 7 months ago I got back with him. I haven't brought anyone else into this. I've just dealt with all of it in the thought that he would eventually quit and that he couldn't do it forever. Well again its seven months later and it has not stopped. It is alot more mild now then it has been in a very long time. I don't want to break up with him because at this point while attempting to make him happy I pretty much live with him. Alot of my stuff is at his house. If I try to leave he will take it all and then block me from leaving. He'll do anything to prevent me from leaving. If I try to talk to him about anything no matter how dumb or little it might be, Get called nasty things, belittled in front of everyone,I get all my stuff taken including my bankcard which is my only form of money, and so many other unpleasant things. I definitly want out this time. I'm so sick of this. I feel so helpless though. I mean I can fight back and i can restrain him for a period of time but I don't want to have to do that anymore. I want something better. I don't know what to do. I mean if I could make this work for everyone that would be great and i would take that route but at this point I'm not seeing how this could work. Nothing I've tried thus far`has even remotely worked. Something's got to give... Any advice.. changing my mindset, leaving him, fixing this anything would be great.