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Is he trying to keep me?


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I haven't let my jealousy show, nor have I expressed that I'm getting a little ticked about his little GF spending the night like EVERY single night for over the last week...if the b*tch is going to do that she might as well move in so I can move out...

 

My roommate and I have been getting along fairly well, but only because I'm hiding this jealousy and aggravation. Last night when I got home, he had cleaned the ENTIRE apt. from top to bottom, mopped, scrubbed, the whole 9. Perhaps he knows I'm pissed even though I still smile and laugh/talk etc? When I commented the clean place, he said, "well, that's why I'm here, so that Jill (me) can have a clean apartment". Cuz he knows I have such little time with work/school. So I gave him hug and went to bed. Then of course, the GF came over later, as usual, and spent the night, as usual.

 

I have not changed my mind about moving, I don't know if this is what he's trying to do, but the girls will drive me out no matter what. It sucks because he IS a really good roommate, etc. It's all jealousy driving me out. But I can't help it. I'm too stressed about other things to let this jealousy keep ruining my day!

 

A friend said, "he's trying to have his cake and it eat it, too." But how? I don't give him any cake, I only benefit him financially, so I guess thats his "cake". If I had a guy over EVERY night f*king him while my roommate had no one, you can't tell me it wouldn't bother him as much as it bothers me.

 

Now I have to spill the real reason I want to move is because I'm too jealous, cuz he knows I like living with him otherwise. I have to get the hell outta there and I won't be able to without exposing my true self!! And he'll just act like, "Oh, well, you know it happens its ok"...like it's no big deal....and it'll hurt like hell because it IS a bid deal to me...

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you really are not at all obligated to tell him any reason for your need to move.

 

just move - he already knows - he's probably just looking to get a reaction from all this - don't give him that satisfaction at this point. there is no benefit from it now.

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He also still claims "he doesn't want a relationship"...but I've never seen him spend as much time with other girls like he has been with this one...hanging out EVERY night and having sex, its almost like they don't go a single dam day without seeing each other...isn't that the symptoms of a "relationship"?

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you really are not at all obligated to tell him any reason for your need to move.

 

just move - he already knows - he's probably just looking to get a reaction from all this - don't give him that satisfaction at this point. there is no benefit from it now.

 

Well your right I can still move as planned without even discussing it further. I guess I feel obligated to be honest simply because he's my friend of many years. And if he wants a reaction, why? Just for his ego? All the girls he has calling him, etc, that's not enough for his ego?

 

I told him about wanting to move out right before he started seeing this girl. So if he really already knows why I'm doing it, how come he has to make it way worse than it already was? Yet kiss my a** at the same time?

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Lovelace,

 

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems to me that you are attracted to him, but are denying yourself that fact! It's like you are so good of friends, that if you did start dating and it ended; you are both afraid of losing that great friendship. :(

 

Though you really should move out... Male & female roommates arent really a great idea in my opinion..

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Lovelace,

 

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems to me that you are attracted to him, but are denying yourself that fact! It's like you are so good of friends, that if you did start dating and it ended; you are both afraid of losing that great friendship. :(

 

Though you really should move out... Male & female roommates arent really a great idea in my opinion..

 

You are right I don't admit attraction to him. But never thought I'd have to, anyway, since we have sexual past from years ago. He knew what I felt then, so I'm sure he knows now. But I guess coming out with it could make a huge difference, in some way or another.

 

I don't know why we thought living together could work? I did wonder deep down if it might get us together, but I never counted on it. His actions have implied he'd never want to be with me, yet other actions have given me the opposite idea. I totally think I'm guilty of both of the same things, both on purpose. I wonder if he feels the same...anyhow, what matters I guess is that we both realize this was a mistake...but last night it appeared he was kissing my butt by cleaning the apt. from top to bottom...even said, "thats why I'm here, so you have a clean place" cuz he knows I'm too busy to keep up most of the time. That felt as if he wants me to change my mind about moving. That or he thinks it'll sugar coat the fact that his new girlfriend spends the night like every single night now; little does he know, I won't let somebody practically live here for free...I'll confront that subject when the bills come. In the mean time I'm playing it cool. So actually, he seems awfully happy in this situation right now...cuz some young dumb girl is giving him some all the time. But he has me to split finances with.

 

I don't think he'll be all that happy when I suggest the GF should move in so I can move out!

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So the truth comes out! :p

 

Well, there isn't much more I can suggest on the matter. From what you've stated so far, I think you've always known what needed to be done. It's just putting those words to action!

 

The real question is: What are you waiting for?

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