MEANT TO BE! or just a flirt?

[confused84]

so one day i was looking through the "cool people who don't drink" group for my college on facebook, and i happened to see this gorgeous guy. i looked at his profile, and i am not kidding you, he was THE perfect man. basically, all my weaknesses encapsulated into one person. Beautiful, Christian, funny...

so i added him. which i never do.

i really didn't expect him to talk to me or anything-- i wouldn't have if someone added me.

but then i got a message from him saying that i looked like a really cool person and that he hoped we could get to know each other at school. i sent back a message agreeing... then there were a couple more comments, etc, but nothing really big.

i go to a very large college, so the probablility of me actually meeting this guy was very low. i didn't think we'd ever really meet-- but i hoped.

i saw that one of his favorite books was Mere Christianity, and i had wanted to read it, and that just inspired me to start it. so i borrowed my roommate's copy and began taking it with me everywhere to read in hopes that he would stumble upon me and start a conversation.

then one day, it happened! i was in the dining hall, reading, when he came up to me and started talking to me about the book and about being a Christian, and about CS Lewis. we acted like we didnt know who each other was... pretty sure neither of us wanted to be the weird "ive-seen-you-on-the-internet" person.

so then i started running in to him everywhere. one time i was pointing to where my seats at a ball game were in order to show my friend, and i pointed right at him without knowing he was there first! he came up and talked to me, etc.

i also ended up accidentally going to the same church as him the first sunday i was at school, and he was in the same pew. haha...

he is in a singing group-- SO HOT-- and he actually RAPS this song that was my theme song for a long time.

i ran into him in the dining hall, library, everywhere... and i was always really nervous and couldnt think of what to say clever or cute, so i ended up just saying hey, how are you? and that typical thing.

so after we met over Mere Christianity, he sent me a message saying to let him know if i ever wanted to "talk about our boy CS Lewis over some coffee!" so i said of course, we should do that soon!

and then...

he got a girlfriend.

i mean, we hadnt really had a real conversation at that point, but i was wayyy disappointed that he was taken

come to find out he is also a huge flirt... i mean he knows he is gorgeous.

he also sent me a really sweet, totally random message one time that caught me off guard... but it wasnt like, i like you or anything.

so i didnt run into him for a while, except for a random Hey once in a while.

BUT...

they broke up:D

and then i started running in to him again

one day i was reading Mere Christianity again, and a different guy came up to ask me about it...

so i decided to leave my Perfect Man a comment telling him that had happened and saying it reminded me of this other time, with this other guy.... (HIM)

so then he didnt answer me for a long time (i dont think he gets on facebook much) and i had kind of given up until he said "mere christianity should be required reading for all christians! and also, it makes for a great pickup line when you see a girl reading it and you wanna talk to her"

I WAS SO EXCITED.

i didnt say anything back but THEN

i was at this dance party, i had been dancing for a while, and then i was standing at the drink table, when all of a sudden he came up to me, started dancing with me, and then said "i hate to break this facebook relationship by taking it to the next level..." and then he put his arm around me, we joked back and forth, i said some DUMB things im sure because i was so dumbfounded, and then he gave me a side-hug when he left

pretty much a great moment

then the next monday i was sitting outside with my friend, reading a decidedly different book-- Good in Bed

so of course... he came down the stairs beside where i was sitting, and to my excitement he sat down next to me. of course he picked up my book, which was extremely embarassing. but he said "mere sexuality? good in bed... after marriage?":laugh: hahaha

and so he joked about that, asked me how my weekend was, etc, etc... and im sure i looked like a FOOL.

finally he said "well im gonna have to go before it gets so hot out here i have to start taking clothes off" and i said "i dont know if i'll be able to handle that after reading this book" and he said "yeah you probably wouldnt be able to restrain yourself-- but im sure you would be good at whatever we were doing because of all the knowledge youre gaining..."

that time he didnt really touch me or anything... so it couldve been flirtier, especially considering he acts flirty with everyone... but he also referred to the fact that he had just randomly stumbled upon me next to the stairs because he decided not to take the indoor escalator that day... God wanted him to rescue my lost and over-sexualized soul, he said... hahaha.

and then i said, well the escalator was broken today... so he said "well i guess God didnt give me an option!" so basically, God meant for him to rescue me...

someone added a picture of him kissing this girl on the head, but the next day it was untagged-- maybe he took it away so as not to mislead people? so it wouldnt look like he was taken? i dont know.

then i saw him a few more times later that week, and he flirted a little more...

so last night i sent him a message saying i couldnt count on coincidental meetings any more. haha...

he hasnt answered yet, hes not that big of a facebook person, but i am scared i was too forward, that i am getting my hopes up, etc...

it scares me because whenever i think something good will happen with a guy, it blows up in my face.

and he is probably just a flirt... UGH.

HELP. am i making something out of nothing?