co-worker and BF the aftermath

[Guest]

I'm so down and deflated. I had posted a few months ago about my BF co-worker who was relentless but kind of subtle. It was really bad for awhile, she controls the circle of office friends, a tight clique. So she would send out invitations all the time, seriously, up to 4 times a week.

 

I should probably give the history, I'll put a link up if I can find the post. Basically, this girl was really disrespecting me by going after him.

 

All poachers have different methods, hers were arranging group gatherings with a lot of alcohol, and she was always paying him a bit too much attention. Also being really touchy with him. And catty to me. She would even do it with her wuss of a boyfriend standing right next to her. I was a wuss because I never called her on it, I guess I hoped my BF would, but he is really into avoidance, keeping workplace problems to a minimum. She is all about drama. I wish I had punched her in the face. The difficult part was, for a few months, my BF would not stop going to her invites, and I had a choice to go, but if I did not he would go without me.

 

Eventually he realized it was that or me, and he started to turn down the invites.

 

My story was the same as any other story, it caused a lot of grief and pain because it was like pulling teeth to finally get my BF to see what was going on and for him to start turning down her invitations consistently.

 

So what is wrong now? Well every week his office has an in office happy hour, and it bothers me that she will come up to him and talk to him, and he will be responsive. I feel that after all her intentions were made clear, and he admits that for some reason he can see she does not like me, that may have spurred her on more to upset me-that he still talks to her.

 

I think he should be dismissive of her, curt, a few sentences and walk away. It really bothers me that she is still getting what she wants. I think that even if I had had a balls out confrontation with her, my BF would still accept her conversations when she approaches him because he is always saying how important it is to keep things smooth with his co-workers at all times.

 

What I'm trying to say is--am I being disrespected by my BF here? Just because she temporarily stopped the touchy-feely stuff, she is always coming up to talk to him or hug him hello, shouldn't he be more curt?

 

He even admitted to me he thinks she had bad intentions towards me, and wanted to see if she could steal him away from me or at least get him to respond to her advances in front of me to cause a row, at the very least.

 

So knowing he admits this, it really disappoints me that if he is ina circle of people and she comes in too, he will talk to her and be fairly normal.

 

I think he is just making it more difficult between her and I because next time if I go to a party she will approach him to talk and see how I am so unwelcoming and how he is not. I am retroactively angry and want revenge, after all her BS, I need to see him just once be mean to her. I don't think he ever will be unless she outright says something really nasty about me, but these kind of poachers are too smart to do that.

 

Sorry to ramble. why can't some guys just grow a pair? I think it will be like this until he or her relocates. I trust him, but I hate that he talks to her whenever she approaches him, for as long as she wants to talk. He says it is only small talk, but I feel like she is thinking "wow, after all my come-ons and the fact his GF hates me-he still talks to me-fantastic! "