xenonsrt10 Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 I am getting sick of this "lets be friends" bullcrap. Can you all help me out by explaining what it means and what is could mean down the road with me and this girl. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 It can mean anything: - I never want to see you again, but I don't want to say that because I'll look bad, so 'let's be friends' though I have no intention of ever contacting you - I can't figure out any other way to end this break-up conversation, so 'let's be friends' but I'll never contact you - I want to end this amicably even though I have no intention of actually being friends with you - I'll take your calls if I'm not busy or dating anyone - I'll string you along as my back-up until I meet someone else - I'll string you along as my back-up even if I do meet someone else - I actually like you and still want to be friends, but I have zero interest in getting back together and I feel no chemistry with you - I might consider getting back together if I don't meet someone else after I date around for a while - I'm still in love with you and would take you back in an instant (when said by dumpee to dumper, of course) Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 It means you are f****d. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 - I'll take your calls if I'm not busy or dating anyone - I'll string you along as my back-up until I meet someone else - I'll string you along as my back-up even if I do meet someone else I'll add -- I never want to date you or have any kind of physical relationship but i will use your adoration to feed my ego and hopefully this "friends" thing is enough to do that. I am of course assuming - I think rightfully so - that you want to date this girl as boyfriend/girlfriend but haven't. Correct me if I am wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xenonsrt10 Posted April 8, 2007 Author Share Posted April 8, 2007 actually i dont mind either way. i just dont like being confused on the "friends" thing. I would rather her just be direct with me than be misleading.Good advice though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xenonsrt10 Posted April 8, 2007 Author Share Posted April 8, 2007 if it means on of the negative things listed above, I would be greatly dissapointed. however i can give you a couple details why/or why not it might be one of those scenarios: -any time i call her, she answers and at the same time she had a choice to pick up/or not pick up the phone. -she will stop and talk to me anytime i see her -she definately acknowledges me so it is a little different, but the only question that remains is: would it be appropriate to ask her out to lunch or something as a "friend"? thanks:cool: Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 if it means on of the negative things listed above, I would be greatly dissapointed. however i can give you a couple details why/or why not it might be one of those scenarios: -any time i call her, she answers and at the same time she had a choice to pick up/or not pick up the phone. -she will stop and talk to me anytime i see her -she definately acknowledges me so it is a little different, but the only question that remains is: would it be appropriate to ask her out to lunch or something as a "friend"? thanks:cool: Your friend is not interested in you romantically if she said "let's be friends". So anything you do from this point forward, must be with the understanding that you will not be dating her, and may have to listen to her tell you about other guys she fancies or starts dating. Can you handle that? Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Your friend is not interested in you romantically if she said "let's be friends". So anything you do from this point forward, must be with the understanding that you will not be dating her, and may have to listen to her tell you about other guys she fancies or starts dating. Can you handle that? Exactly NJ. OP -- Can you handle that? Link to post Share on other sites
JazzyFe07 Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 O.k. these advices are good but the main thing about the famous three word sentence "Lets be friends" means that the person that you are with is not comfortable with having a relationship with you. Also they might just see the two of you as just friends and nothing else. What you should do is try to elevate your friendship. Why won't you guys just go out and do something fun like go to clubs, dinners, or maybe you can come up with something to do at your house. As you do these things, then the person that you're with might be able to change the way they feel and that's the key road to a relationship. However, if there is no affect then just leave it alone and maybe you guys were just better off as "just friends." All you have to do is keep cool and don't stress over this because its not worth it. People change as time goes by!!!! JAzzyFe Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Y Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 Another great post by NoraJane. I agree completely. Link to post Share on other sites
DOA Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 It's pretty simple. She's not interested in dating you romantically. Don't wait around for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 It means you have to conform to her rules and forget about sex if you want to hang around her. Is this what you want? Link to post Share on other sites
Author xenonsrt10 Posted April 9, 2007 Author Share Posted April 9, 2007 it really isnt what i want, but i am intrigued to see what happpens. she told me straight up once that she was a huge introvert and being an introvert myself, you tend to cover and hide your real feelings for people. i also am interested to see what her sexual preference actually is, because her supporting the gay community openly in a class full of 45+ people disturbs me. Perhaps it is worth finding out more.... Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 Think of "Let's be friends" as the complete and polar opposite of "Let's f*ck". P.S. Rofl at westernxer Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 it really isnt what i want, but i am intrigued to see what happpens. she told me straight up once that she was a huge introvert and being an introvert myself, you tend to cover and hide your real feelings for people. i also am interested to see what her sexual preference actually is, because her supporting the gay community openly in a class full of 45+ people disturbs me. Perhaps it is worth finding out more.... You don't have to be gay to support the gay "community", you know. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 I would recommend not being friends with her but keep it to acquaintances. If you like her sexually then you are just holding yourself back from meeting someone who will like you that way by hanging with her. She will never see you that way and you will just frustrate yourself wondering why she can't feel the same as you. Do yourself a favor and keep it to a "hello" level. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xenonsrt10 Posted April 12, 2007 Author Share Posted April 12, 2007 sounds like a plan to me yamaha. it will be tough keeping it to that level but i shall try. does it hurt asking her out to lunch once in a while thought? Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 sounds like a plan to me yamaha. it will be tough keeping it to that level but i shall try. does it hurt asking her out to lunch once in a while thought? No, as long as it's just once in a while. Once you find that other girl that does feel sexual towards you then it will not hurt you one bit to ask her to lunch. You just need to channel your feelings in the right direction, for now ( towards a gal who feels the same as you ). Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 13, 2007 Share Posted April 13, 2007 The basics... sometimes it means - i really just want to be your friend other times it means - i want sleep with you and other people too Link to post Share on other sites
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