SOS... slept with a boss....

[Guest]

Please, if you are criticizing me for what i did... don't.. i need advise, not telling me how wrong I am. As you are not in the situation and you don't know...

 

i am married.. he is married.. he is a boss in a different group.. i am working with him on many projects...we both in marriages that we want to keep for the sake of kids...we love our spouses but not in love....my marriage is alright... i don't know how is his as he always say his wife is yelling at him for being late and there are financial issues....

 

anyhow.. the feelings that i have for him have been for 2 and half years..i finally know it was love.. i am in love him and care about him a great deal. he knew it all along but never said anything about it....many times he actually encouraged it...

 

we had many fun conversations about nothing...he calls me and i call him for just talking...we flirted a great deal over the past 2 years....

 

we traveled overseas together two times.. first time....we are getting close, but i did not let things happened because i know if we did, then it will ruin the "friendship"....

 

the 2nd time, about three months ago.... things did happen..he was sick (exhausted and too much drink).....he asked me to make sure he is ok and passing out in his room... i agreed to take care of him and not leave him alone in his room until he feel better.... so i stayed with him in his room...

 

he went to take shower.... and i was avoiding to see him naked.... then he was in bed.....and i was putting cover on him (he had robe on).. then he wanted to take shower again and not be able to walk straight.... so i walk with him to the shower and took off his robe for him.. he went to shower again and came back with a towel... i asked to his towel off as it is wet.. and then put cover over him...

 

he was having chill and shaking so bad....so i asked him what would make him better.. he said massage.. so i give him a full body massge and the whole time i was avoiding his private part... he tossed and turned after the massage and the sheet fall off and i could see his naked body...

 

then i turn the light off....and want to make him to sleep...i held his hand and he stroked my leg... then he hold me down and told me the we are not suppose to do this and don't tell anyone... i said ok... my mind went blank... we sort of did,, but he was impotent and then i did give him a bj and he came....

 

i left his room a few hours later as i don't want to wake up in his bed.... this happened again one night later and next night.. we did not have intercourse, just handjob and a bit of bj....i told him i like him more than a friend.. and asked him if he felt the same.. he said he does not know.....but he said we are good friend.. he then said it happnened for the best.. i asked what it means. he said he does not know.....

 

we left as it is and when are back at work... he tried to make things easier and pretended things normal and we still flirt.. but i do not know how to behave around him.. .i use to can tell him that i miss him...now... i can't....

 

i somehow felt he set me up for the first night... yes, he was drunk.. but he puked enough and his mind was very clear..... if it was a drunk thing... then how to explain the 2nd and 3rd time....

 

if you are a man.. or woman has some sort of experience... please advise me if he really set me up for this and if he is confused as well as i am.... what i want to know is he only want to do me... or he has feelings for me as well.... and he is just confused.... should i bring up this up with him and tell him how i really felt? i want him... but not plan to be part of his marriage.. or will not give up my marriage and i don't want to end this as i really in love with him....