He's being so strange! WTH does he want?!

[Guest]

Okay, so here is my VERY long story all summed up: I've got it so bad for my close guy friend, and I dont know what to do.....

 

One of my close friends (who kinda gets around btw) had a weekend fling with this guy, P. He was a frequent customer at a bar I worked at. Well, I didnt know who he was untill my friend was in one night, and pointed him out. A week or two later, I introduced myself, nothing major. Another month goes by, and he bought me a drink on an early night. Another couple weeks, and I found out I was pregnant from a very short-term ex BF. I switched jobs, and started working at a new bar across town. P starts coming there, too. I got off work early one night, he offered to buy me a drink, but I told him I was pregnant. Thats cool, he says, and we start playing pool, chatting. Just friends, customer, whatever-nothing flirtacious. Well, we ended up going to another club in town that night, talking alllll night, going to the casino, and just talked the whole time. We ended up talking the next day, and I went to his house for the weekend. We had such a great time, and we've pretty much talked every day, or seen each other every week since then. We go out, we have so much fun, and I am more comfortable with him after these 10 months than I was with my ex after 4 years.

 

Well, the first time we really hung out, we were both very clear on where we stood about relationships. I didnt want one, and neither did he. I think maybe thats why we are still getting along good-- no pressure. We have slept together, more than a few times, but its still not just a convinence thing. He still comes over & I go there even though I've not been able to do anything like that in months cause the baby. And even when we were fooling around, everything was fine about not having feeling overloads. He has gone on a few dates over the past couple months with this girl, and hes been physical with her. His policy is, if he sleeps with one person, he wont sleep with the other. So basically, I'm (supposedly) not getting anymore from him. Supposedly.

 

Well, here lately things have been so weird! We went on an actual date last week, the first official ''no baby on board'' night out for us. We had a blast. Just dinner, a couple drinks, and some pool. Oh, and we were hyped up on Red Bull & drove the people at Fred Meyers nuts. But he was so different to me the whole night. I just noticed him looking at me when he thought I wasnt paying attention, he was overly talkative (so not like him), and just.... different. I asked him why he was being weird, and he said it was just cause we actually got to go do something, he was fine, blah blah blah. I dropped it, but its still there. He came over the other night, just to hang out with me & my kids, watch a movie, chill out. Okay, keep in mind we have been platonic for months now. That night, he was all over me. This is probably going into the TMI area, but we were making out for a good 3 hours. I swear the only reason we stopped is because I only had my baby a month ago, and cant do any of that yet.

 

I've slowly come to realize over the past 2-3 months how much I actually DO want to be with him. I really care about him, we get along amazingly, and it just feels right emotionally. But I dont know whats on his mind. He says he doesnt want a relationship, but then he completly acts the opposite. He is here a couple times a week for no reason, just to see me, and he lives 20 min away. He came to the hospital when the baby was born. He'd do anything for me if I asked. I get the feeling he's trying to feel me out to see if I really want more than a friendship, but he's never going to come out & ask if I do. I dont know what I should do at this point. I honestly would rather have him as a friend than nothing, and I dont want to scare him away, so I havent brought it up. I've hinted around, like the other night. We were talking about this chick that he went on a date with, and how she wants way more than he's willing to offer. He was complaing about girls not beliving him when he says he doesnt want a relationship. He asked why I wasnt freaking out yet, and I told him I didnt know, but I would fall for him in a second if I'd let myself. He's always telling me he doesnt know what to do with me; he wants to avoid me but just cant-- he keeps coming back (not sexually!) for more.

 

I know he cares about me, but I dont want to lose him. He is one of my two best friends, the other being a girl I've known for 6 years. I want to feel him out for how he really feels, but I dont know how. How can I figure out if he's serious about what he says, or if his real feelings are sneaking out in his actions? I dont want to be obvious, and I cant just talk to him about it.

 

He comes over all the time