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Seemingly endless depression...


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lonelyronin

I'm going to feel really bad about making this thread- I'm just new, my first post... and I'm already asking for help without helping others.

I do want to get this off my chest for the longest...

 

I feel like my life has been completely wasted so far. All my efforts in vein, and all my decisions worthless.

 

I'm 16, constantly depressed, and always at home, and I know its my fault. For being me.

 

I'm the "nice guy", always giving, not expecting anything back. My life is constantly a "go to school, go home" schedule, and I've noticed (since about 12 or 13) that I've been home at least 19/20 weekends.

 

I have "friends", but they do their thing, and I'm left out, probably not even given a consideration. I'm not sure if it has to do with my uncharacteristically giving nature, my intellect, my face, body, etc. (I'm very self-judgemental) Thing is, of course, I want to be with them. I want to go out weekends instead of playing WoW sobbingly leveling characters.

 

I'm not even sure if it can be fixed anymore, i've almost given up all hope about it, almost ready to face this seemingly uncontrollable thing called fate and destiny- being it lonelyness.

 

 

I'm trying not to ask for help, really, I just want to know if there's anyone out there, just like me by chance. If you want to help, please do.

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I think two things would solve your problem:

1) positive thinking with a lot less self-analysis/criticism

2) actively getting out and being more engaged with people, if that's what you really want.

 

For 1 I suggest a good book on self-hypnotism, and a commitment to giving it a try for at least a few weeks. Also I'd suggest a bit of patience, because you're young, and your life will change all by itself. For the better. Whether you worry about it or not.

 

For 2 I suggest you tackle 1 for a short while, and then hit up your friends to spend some time with them. They may just think you're not interested. But a little bit of effort could pay off, if you really want to make a change. I repeat though, you need to work on 1 more than anything.

 

Don't be hard on yourself.

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Trialbyfire

Some good advice given by johan.

 

Do you ever initiate anything, like asking your friends to do something interesting? Don't be afraid to try something new.

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lonelyronin

thanks for the replys, johan and Trial

 

To answer your question Trial... No, I don't remember if I did or not ever, if I did, It didn't get me doing whatever my friends were doing...

 

Thing is, the only times they really talk about what they are gonna do for the weekends is when I'm indirectly in the conversation..., I would love to say, "Hey, can I join yall?", or something like that, but I'd get the feeling I'd be eavesdropping and creeply always listening in...

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Trialbyfire

Why not plan something and ask them to go instead? Maybe a game of paintball, a pro-baseball or basketball game. I have no idea what you like to do.

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Trialbyfire

Time to expand your interests, for your own personal health and well-being. If there are any sports that are of interest to you and a gym you might consider joining, do so.

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