brunette4u Posted December 23, 2002 Share Posted December 23, 2002 do you think it is possible to love and marry someone who doesn't know everything about you...say that you cheated on them, but you vow to yourself to never do it again...Just recently, me and my boyfriend were on a "break" but didn't really agree to seeing other people, too, but i slept with a guy, who i was amazed with b/c he was a hot pro baseball player, and ONLY b/c he was HOT and interested in me...but i told my boyf. that we just kissed. Is it ok just to leave it at this, but still marry him some day, becuase i DO love him, and DON'T want to be with anyone else? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted December 23, 2002 Share Posted December 23, 2002 Not only do I think it's OK but I think it's absolutely mandatory that you keep your mouth shut because by disclosing that you slept with this guy you will end the relationship for all time....trust me on that. Men go bananas when this happens. The bigger question is this. I don't buy that you love this guy so much and I don't buy that you are ready for any kind of committment or marriage. Those facts are rather obvious if you can be so easily seduced by a hot pro baseball player. That's not the sign of a woman deeply in love. When you finally meet the love of your life, you will not have the slightest desire to be with another man no matter how hot he is or what he does for a living. If you really love someone, the last thing on your mind is cheating on them. So, first, don't say another word about this to anybody. Secondly, take a hard look at yourself and this relationship and do an inventory of your readiness for it. Perhaps a counsellor can help you sort out your feelings. But there is no way in hell you are in love and ready to marry your fiance. You haven't sewn all your wild oats and you are still obviously open to that. And, from your fiance's point of view, I'm sure he would not want to be engaged to a female who's open to screwing hot athletes she meets on a whim. Guys just don't want that sort of thing. Good luck in your decision. I hope you put yourself back out in circulation and wear yourself out on the hotties. When you're ready to settle down, you'll know it. But give your own self a break here. Yes, you may love your fiance in some fashion but it takes a lot more than love to make a lasting relationship. It takes morals, committment, correct timing, caring, communication, etc. etc. Well, on the other hand you could just tell him about your sexual encounter and it would be over right then and there. If you want an easy way to end it, tell him. The only reason I ask you not to is if you have an ounce of feelings for him, you'd want to spare him the extreme pain and hurt of finding out the lady he planned to marry and dedicate the rest of his life to betrayed him. Link to post Share on other sites
opie_wonder Posted January 1, 2003 Share Posted January 1, 2003 i believe that tony's right in that u should leave it as it is... it sounds like u truly are in love w/ this man.. and guys dont take lightly to this sort of thing and i would know. but hey it is important that u have a relationship with this guy and u should put the past behind him... u told him half of it and that is enough... dont try to get him to understand it is very difficult for a guy to undertsna this and u should it all be done. OPIE p.s. i hope that u have a happy marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
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