bossy gf

[Spike]

Hi, it's been a while since i've been in this forum, ok, I'll go straight to the point.

 

I have this gf which I have been going out for about 5 months plus, but during this time, she has been acting very bossy (wants things her way), every time when we have a tiff, it's all because of small issues which she would flare up upon. This has been happening occasionally so I sorta got used to it. I'm the one always saying 'sorry', n 'pls dun be so petty' n things like that but things still remain the same.

 

I always try to be there for her, n whenever she goes somewhere, I would wait for her n fetch her home, I'm always the one waiting...

When she comes over my place, I would be the one doin most of her chores like getting a glass of water for her or doin the bedsheet while she changes n getting her food n washing dishes...sometimes I really feel like a servant.

 

I really wonder whether she appreciates all this a not, I have brought this thing up to her b4, but she would say things like 'if I don't appreciate you, I would'nt be with you'

 

When she flares up, she would scold me f***ing bastard, Idiot..stuff like that..she can't control her temper, but I can..

 

I know that it isn't right for me to say all this out, but I can't keep all this inside of me, n I don't really want to tell my friends coz they would think I'm a wussy...

 

What should I do??

[Tony T]

You are being way too nice to this lady. She is using you and taking advantage of you. She has little respect for you. It's really hard for a woman to have respect for a guy who she can walk all over and who does all her work for her.

 

First, you need to put to a grinding halt most of the things you are doing for her. Let her do her own work and you do your work. If you want to help her on occasion, that's fine.

 

Don't EVER EVER permit her to get away with calling you a f**king bastard. There is no respect in that at all. The next time she does that, you stand up and kindly tell her that is NOT acceptable and you won't tolerate it...and it must stop.

 

If she ever calls you that name again after you have warned her, end the relationship immediately.

 

I really hate to tell you this but there is simply no way in the world this lady can like you at all or have any respect for you at this point because of the way you are conducting yourself. Women want men who will stand up to them, not bow to their every whim as you are doing. You are failing miserably at romance and she isn't even worth it. She treats you like crap.

 

You may have totally ruined it with this chick. If that's the case, remember not to be such a wimp with your next gf or you'll end up the very same way. This is NOT what women want, even though you think you're doing her so many favors. She sees you as a real sucker...and she probably tells her girlfriends all about it.

 

I'm glad you came here before this situation became even more sickening. I just wish you could see yourself from the outside. It's a pathetic picture.

[Just A Girl2]

Someone can only take advantage of you if you LET THEM. Sorry, but you DO sound like a servant. Tell her to get off her arse and get her own glass of water/food/fix the sheets. You're not her slave, are you? Of course not.

 

When you try to bring this up, her response is very telling...the one about "if I don't appreciate you, I wouldn't be with you."

 

Well of COURSE she appreciates you..of COURSE she wants to be with you.....you're her slave for God's sake!

 

I don't know what her problem is exactly (spoiled as a child? only child? thinks she's the queen?), but a relationship is supposed to be a PARTNERSHIP, not OWNERSHIP. You are not her piece of property...something to boss around, manipulate, control and take for granted.

 

Based on what you've written, she's wayyyy out of line and you're simply enabling her to carry on in this spoiled, bratty, selfish manner. What are YOU even getting out of this relationship? Don't you find it a little degrading to be bossed around and ordered around?

 

Put your foot down. Stand up for yourself. Relationships are about equality and compromise. If she insists on having her own way all the time, tell her to get stepping...and she can be single, then she'll have her own way all the time.