Napa Man Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 Well were do I start.. I am in a relationship with a great women. We have fun together and have talked about marriage. We have been going out for about a year, so we have done the family thing and been on a few vacations. Marriage was seeming more and more possible.... Then back in December my ex girlfriend (of 6 years) calls me out of the blue and we ended up going out for dinner. Now me and this ex its not just dinner. We have always had this animal attraction towards each other and before the night was over we have sex. I told her after that that we cannot do this, however she does not know about the other girl. Again something happened around March and we started seeing each other again. I feel really bad because I am cheating on both of them. I really love my ex because she is amazing and has always been understanding. My current GF is also great, however the sex is like no other with my ex. We have sex about 5 times a night and it is intense. I have never felt this with anyone else... My ex wants to marry me, however I have created lots of lies. I have told her that I have a lucrative business and this is why I do not see her and travel all the time. I love her, but how do I tell her the truth about the lies as well as the current GF. How do I devastate my current GF by this. I am in pain and don't know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
manders0724 Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 you are the poster guy for an *******. not to be too blunt, but i dont think you deserve either of these girls. telling them both different lies to get them both to be with you. i think you need to tell them both the truth about it all, and not expect either of them to want to be with you after this. however if whoever you choose you want to be with cares about you enough and trusts you, they might give you a second chance. DONT expect this tho. i must repeat that you need to tell them both the truth cuz although its hurting you a little, it will hurt them both MUCH worse Link to post Share on other sites
BlackSwan Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 Yeah you really did it. I just went through this. Found out my so-called bf was cheating on me the whole time, and he was cheating on his other gf the whole time with me. He lied lied lied to both of us. When I found out, I sent her an email and we talked on the phone for 4 hours comparing lies he told both of us. Neither of us wants anything to do with him now. It's such a huge betrayal to both! You need to come clean with both of them because if you don't, the truth will come out sooner or later one way or another. It will be a lot worse if one of them finds out and tells the other. You need to be honest and hope for the best. No way you can start a marriage built on a big bunch of lies, anyway. Why didn't you break up with your current gf when you and the ex got back together? Link to post Share on other sites
BeachBlonde Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 I hope you at LEAST have the courtesy to admit to your current girlfriend about your infidelity so she can let you go and find someone worth her time. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but with you saying that you're hurt, you just sound selfish---did you ever think about how hurt your current girlfriend who you were so "happy" with would be, before you started messing around with your ex? Well, there's not much you can do about this situation now. Either cut off all contact with your ex and admit your cheating to your girlfriend, or break up with your girlfriend and continue messing around with your ex. I hope you let your current girlfriend go though, and learn from this---it's obvious that you aren't ready for marriage with her like you thought you were. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 it's obvious that you aren't ready for marriage with her like you thought you were. He's not ready for marriage to anyone. Napa Man, tell both ladies what you've been up to. You can't make a lifetime commitment to either one of them, not if you start it off by lying and cheating. Both ladies deserve to know who you are and what you are capable of before making any sort of decision about marriage to you. Link to post Share on other sites
littlepiggy1 Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 I am in pain and don't know what to do. Short of seppuku, you're in quite a clusterf*ck. And you've no one to blame but yourself. First thing I would do is recongize that you have problems with self-control and being honest. I would seriously recommend counseling to sort yourself out. Second, tell the truth to both, then don't be surprised when they get royalled pissed and never want to see your face again. Then learn from that mistake and do your best not to repeat it ever again. Link to post Share on other sites
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