Does he really love me??!!!

[precious_jenny]

HHHhhmm,this is pretty hard to start with,but i do believe that i can get some advise that i can work on,and hope all of you will say something about my experience..

 

I was in my 1st yr college when i started communicating with him..I wasn't really that much interested about having someone or being in a relationship,coz at that time,i never had experience of having a serious relationship or having a bf. Until this guy came along.. So i meet this guy through internt,writing letters,chatting and until i was kinda bcame intrsted to him.. I was nver into some sort of dating,esp. on the intrnt coz i knw there are lot of guys who are cheaters and who just wnt to play feelings of other ppol.. But i got hooked up with this guy.. He really convinced me the way he calls me everyday(sometimes twice a day),write sweet letters about how he felt for me,and it just turns me on.. My parents doesnt knw anything about this until they find out,and they were really upset that i did hide it,coz their always strict and overprotective to me..Thats why i nver had a BF,and his the first one! When he knew that my parents know already,he wnts to talk to them on the phone and convince them that he wnts me and his really interested about me.. Later on,i ddnt knw that he was in my country,he said he was having some seminars,and he did called me aftr church and said his coming and wants to meet me,so i said "there is no plane coming here?",and then he said "im going with a private plane"..So i was really excited but anxious about what im going to react or do when his finally on front of me..so i was pretty anxious about everything..and then later on,he landed with a private plane and at that point,he really mke me believe that,his really true to me.. So he did face my parents and propose to marry me,i was just shocked,i nvr expcted it to happen,but it was true.. So my parents were really bothered and emotional at that times,they always try to convince me to think the right things for my life.. I know they dnt wnt me to marry but at that time i did love this man trully,and thats the first time i felt that feeling,so i decided that i wnt to marry him..So it went out too fast..It was 4 mnths prepation for the wedding,and it went out very well,we had a vry nice wedding..and i thought,i was the luckiest woman alive,i just feel perfect..So i was waiting for my VISA to get approved,so i stayed in my country and my husbnd used to visit me once a month for 1 week or 5 days..It was really a hard time for me,coz i dnt wnt him to be far away from me but i dnt have choice but to wait till me visa get done..So finally my VISA was cleared,and i can be able to come to USA,so i was happy to think i'll be with him forever,although,i'll be missing my family and my place were i always used and i was born with..So first few months was kinda perfect,until suddenly i find out the most miserable thing.. My husbnd was cheating on me.. He did cheat on me,since i knew him,or i may say since he start communicating with me.. It was really a disaster for me,ive been so depressed,i feel like i wnt to die and dnt wnt to live.. I dnt know what to do coz i did give my whole life,my everything,my love that is really vry strong towards him.. Can u imagine,i did accept him for who he was,and love him and mke him as my evrything and he did this to me?? I was 18 yrs old when i marry him and he was 55yrs old,and have a daughter who was older than me from his first wife who died about 4yrs b4 we got married.. And i did find out that he does have 3 more children from another woman,whom he had when his first wife was still alive(i felt sad for her so much).. And i did find out that when he do visit me in my country,he also meet dffrnt women who doesnt knw that his already married and still he pretends to be a widowed man,and he did it to a lot of girls,and he was doing this since the time b4 we meet.. And he got some women who used to call him but he nvr answer when im around,and i knw who they are,so everytime they call,it mkes me confirm bcoz he alwys try to ignore them,but do call them when im not around.. It was really a miserable for me.. I ddnt feel angry to those girls coz i knw their all victims,and im vry upset coz i nvr expct that my husbnd could do this to me,coz i did believe & trusted him so much! And when i told him about that,he just keep lying and denying everything that i know,he always said im just crazy and he never listen to what i say.. But even though,he makes me feel better,he makes me laugh,cry,and be touched for his kind words that u would nvr imagine that he could cheat,coz it doesnt look like he can do that at all..HIs a very nice,very kind to all people.. He always try to say how much i mean to him,and how much he loves me,and tell me that i did change his life,and i was everything..i dnt wnt to believe it but i can feel his love,it just mkes me cry everytime he said he really loves me..He always tries to say,"remembr,ur the one i marry,ur the one i choose,not the other women".. Even though he doesnt say a word,he mkes me feel his love,but it just hard to believe on my part,coz i knw until now,his still do cheat on me.. I dnt know what is the right to think.. I knw he did cheat on me,but i can feel that he loves me..I do love him so dearly,its not even funny its just crazy in love with him.. Im trying to save our marriage but everytime he broke my heart,it mkes me feel to surrender but later on,i'll be bck again.. I dnt knw what the right thing to do..it just to hard to leave him,coz i do love him so much.. Now,we do have 2 sons,and i dnt wnt to create a broken family,as what American couples used to have..Is it a mistake if i wnt to have a happy family?? Even though i knew that my husbnd is doing cheating?? I was kinda like trying to sacrifice my whole life for him,but for how long?? Im just a human being..im not god.. I dnt knw,but i just keep my faith that maybe someday he could really love me trully..Coz i do believe God has a reason why he sent me this man.. Im just devastated about my situation.. He cheats but still i can feel that he loves me.. DOes he really love me at all?? What do u think?? Can u give me some advise??? How can i mke him love me??? I am an attractive woman,who got lot of admirers,a vry sweet one(u cnt imagine,i can be the sweetiest),a down to earth person.. and i dnt have idea,what are the things he really wnts from them that he doesnt feel or seen from me?? Its just so weird!! And if i do imagine,i can have a lot of guys if i wnted to,but i dnt coz im loyal to him.. how i wish he could feel the same way..i just dnt knw..say something... ??? Do send ur idea..wat u think?

[LucreziaBorgia]

Im trying to save our marriage

 

Honestly, there is nothing to save. He may love you in his own way, but he will continue to cheat on you for as long as you remain married to him.

[outofdarkness]

HHHhhmm,this is pretty hard to start with,but i do believe that i can get some advise that i can work on,and hope all of you will say something about my experience..

 

I was in my 1st yr college when i started communicating with him..I wasn't really that much interested about having someone or being in a relationship,coz at that time,i never had experience of having a serious relationship or having a bf. Until this guy came along.. So i meet this guy through internt,writing letters,chatting and until i was kinda bcame intrsted to him.. I was nver into some sort of dating,esp. on the intrnt coz i knw there are lot of guys who are cheaters and who just wnt to play feelings of other ppol.. But i got hooked up with this guy.. He really convinced me the way he calls me everyday(sometimes twice a day),write sweet letters about how he felt for me,and it just turns me on.. My parents doesnt knw anything about this until they find out,and they were really upset that i did hide it,coz their always strict and overprotective to me..Thats why i nver had a BF,and his the first one! When he knew that my parents know already,he wnts to talk to them on the phone and convince them that he wnts me and his really interested about me.. Later on,i ddnt knw that he was in my country,he said he was having some seminars,and he did called me aftr church and said his coming and wants to meet me,so i said "there is no plane coming here?",and then he said "im going with a private plane"..So i was really excited but anxious about what im going to react or do when his finally on front of me..so i was pretty anxious about everything..and then later on,he landed with a private plane and at that point,he really mke me believe that,his really true to me.. So he did face my parents and propose to marry me,i was just shocked,i nvr expcted it to happen,but it was true.. So my parents were really bothered and emotional at that times,they always try to convince me to think the right things for my life.. I know they dnt wnt me to marry but at that time i did love this man trully,and thats the first time i felt that feeling,so i decided that i wnt to marry him..So it went out too fast..It was 4 mnths prepation for the wedding,and it went out very well,we had a vry nice wedding..and i thought,i was the luckiest woman alive,i just feel perfect..So i was waiting for my VISA to get approved,so i stayed in my country and my husbnd used to visit me once a month for 1 week or 5 days..It was really a hard time for me,coz i dnt wnt him to be far away from me but i dnt have choice but to wait till me visa get done..So finally my VISA was cleared,and i can be able to come to USA,so i was happy to think i'll be with him forever,although,i'll be missing my family and my place were i always used and i was born with..So first few months was kinda perfect,until suddenly i find out the most miserable thing.. My husbnd was cheating on me.. He did cheat on me,since i knew him,or i may say since he start communicating with me.. It was really a disaster for me,ive been so depressed,i feel like i wnt to die and dnt wnt to live.. I dnt know what to do coz i did give my whole life,my everything,my love that is really vry strong towards him.. Can u imagine,i did accept him for who he was,and love him and mke him as my evrything and he did this to me?? I was 18 yrs old when i marry him and he was 55yrs old,and have a daughter who was older than me from his first wife who died about 4yrs b4 we got married.. And i did find out that he does have 3 more children from another woman,whom he had when his first wife was still alive(i felt sad for her so much).. And i did find out that when he do visit me in my country,he also meet dffrnt women who doesnt knw that his already married and still he pretends to be a widowed man,and he did it to a lot of girls,and he was doing this since the time b4 we meet.. And he got some women who used to call him but he nvr answer when im around,and i knw who they are,so everytime they call,it mkes me confirm bcoz he alwys try to ignore them,but do call them when im not around.. It was really a miserable for me.. I ddnt feel angry to those girls coz i knw their all victims,and im vry upset coz i nvr expct that my husbnd could do this to me,coz i did believe & trusted him so much! And when i told him about that,he just keep lying and denying everything that i know,he always said im just crazy and he never listen to what i say.. But even though,he makes me feel better,he makes me laugh,cry,and be touched for his kind words that u would nvr imagine that he could cheat,coz it doesnt look like he can do that at all..HIs a very nice,very kind to all people.. He always try to say how much i mean to him,and how much he loves me,and tell me that i did change his life,and i was everything..i dnt wnt to believe it but i can feel his love,it just mkes me cry everytime he said he really loves me..He always tries to say,"remembr,ur the one i marry,ur the one i choose,not the other women".. Even though he doesnt say a word,he mkes me feel his love,but it just hard to believe on my part,coz i knw until now,his still do cheat on me.. I dnt know what is the right to think.. I knw he did cheat on me,but i can feel that he loves me..I do love him so dearly,its not even funny its just crazy in love with him.. Im trying to save our marriage but everytime he broke my heart,it mkes me feel to surrender but later on,i'll be bck again.. I dnt knw what the right thing to do..it just to hard to leave him,coz i do love him so much.. Now,we do have 2 sons,and i dnt wnt to create a broken family,as what American couples used to have..Is it a mistake if i wnt to have a happy family?? Even though i knew that my husbnd is doing cheating?? I was kinda like trying to sacrifice my whole life for him,but for how long?? Im just a human being..im not god.. I dnt knw,but i just keep my faith that maybe someday he could really love me trully..Coz i do believe God has a reason why he sent me this man.. Im just devastated about my situation.. He cheats but still i can feel that he loves me.. DOes he really love me at all?? What do u think?? Can u give me some advise??? How can i mke him love me??? I am an attractive woman,who got lot of admirers,a vry sweet one(u cnt imagine,i can be the sweetiest),a down to earth person.. and i dnt have idea,what are the things he really wnts from them that he doesnt feel or seen from me?? Its just so weird!! And if i do imagine,i can have a lot of guys if i wnted to,but i dnt coz im loyal to him.. how i wish he could feel the same way..i just dnt knw..say something... ??? Do send ur idea..wat u think?

I feel for you. I know what it's like to trust someone totally and then have that trust thrown away..I would say to you that in my opinion, he took advantage of you being so young and tells you what you want to hear and what he needs to say to keep you with him. I don't know whether or not he loves you, but I do know that cheating is never ok..Yes, he says and does sweet, kind and loving things, but by cheating, he is not respecting you. If he's not willing to stop then you should not spend the rest of your life wondering what he's doing and what other women he's with. This is no way to live..and I know...It's miserable and from what you say, he does not want to change.

 

Many of the things that he is saying to you are very common things for a cheater to say to his wife...I don't feel like I tell you what to do, but I would try talking to your parent's..They obviously love you and want the best for you. I am sure they would help you in this situation. Don't shut them out...You and your children need family to support you and help you make some decisions. Good luck and keep coming back to Love Shack..The people give really good advice and are very kind and caring..

[Enema]

For the sake of all that's good and holy.

 

Paragraphs!

[chaos40]

maybe.. maybe not

[Island Girl]

For the sake of all that's good and holy.

 

Paragraphs!

 

GAWD yes! It is soooooooooooooooooo difficult to read otherwise!

 

You'll get more responses in the future if you use paragraphs!

[justagirlforever]

I have to agree. Even skimming is impossible and I've tried a few times now. Sorry

[chilatte]

I think you from what you wrote that your husband is a manipulater and has taken advantage of you. He doesn't sound like he deserves any women if he can't be a mature responsible adult and respect women, especially his wife. I do not think he will stop his behavior. He probably thinks you will never leave him. I mean he has manipulated you to marry him and leave your country and family to come to the USA and now you have two kids with him. He probably thinks there is no way out of this marriage for you. It is YOUR choice though to live this way or set yourself free from this man, although I know it is very dificult to live on your own as a single mother. I don't think he really loves you or you would be the only women for him. Do you have any friends or other family here that can help you? I think you deserve more and a happy lifestyle and I don't see that in your life with this man from what you have written.

 

On a side note, I think it is a little rude to just post about this womans typing and not about her problem. Give her a break, I am sure she did the best she could to express herself. I know it was a little difficult to read but I had no trouble reading each word. I am sure next time she will do better with your writing advice but I am sure she is not feeling a warm Love Shack welcome and I am sure the last thing on weighing on her mind is her typing.

[justagirliegirl]

It is rude to post on a public forum in a way that makes it difficult for the average reader to get through a post.

 

There are many people who have disabilities, like me, who wanted to read the post but was unable to because of a big block of text.

 

When you post, you want as many people to read it and respond so please realize that people can't deal with huge blocks of text and the horrid im speak.

 

I assume that everyone who posts here has had a basic education. They know how to use a computer. I assume they were taught basic writing skills in school.

 

Please use those skills! You'll get more replies.

 

I still want to read OPs post but unless someone breaks it up so it doesn't look like a large black mass, I won't be able to.