Should I contact the ex??

[Tigerlily]

I'm back again with another dilemma (why does everything happen at once, huh?) By the way, thank you to all who replied to my previous posts. Hopefully I can be of assistance oneday :-).

 

2 years ago, my ex and I split up after a one year, very intense, happy relationship. On Saturday night, I saw my sister's boyfriend (let's call him "Z"), who told me that he saw my ex a couple of months ago (a bunch of the boys went out for the day and he came along too). He told me that my ex was asking about me, how I've been etc and apparently, he said to Z that I'm the best girl he's ever met but he felt too young at the time and that he thinks about me a lot. Z said to me "he loved you". I said, "I know". He said, "No, he really loved you" and then proceeded to tell me how he's a great guy etc and he asked him to have a beer with him sometime. I just thought it was strange that my ex would say this to Z. These guys haven't talked in ages and my sister was with Z when I was with the ex. Also, l believe my ex has a girlfriend. Hmmmm.

 

Now, I've bumped into my ex about 3 times since we split up and I've always wanted to say hello but didn't know if I should. You know, it's kind of awkward when they're the one who dumped your arse. Granted, I'm sure it would be awkward for him too. I've thought about emailing him on occassion but didn't know if that would be a wise move. I really didn't know what he'd think of that. I did feel like a bitch ignoring him though. We used to get along great.

 

Basically, I want to send a short 'n' sweet "hello, Merry Christmas, hope you're well, take care" email. Before I do so, I need an objective opinion - what do you make of my ex's comments about me? Based on this info, would it be wise to drop him an email??

 

Once again, thank you for your invaluable input and time taken to help lil 'ole indecisive me!! (I know - I'm a shocker!!)

 

Cheers :-)

[Ally Boo]

I dont see how an email would hurt. I mean, you are just being nice.

[Just A Girl2]

First thing....why did you both break up in the first place? Who broke up with who? Was it a nasty breakup or pretty civil?

 

I think that's very flattering, to have been told by Z, the things your ex was saying about you to him.....sounds like this guy really DOES still love you.

 

But do you think your ex currently HAS a g/f?

 

I say go for it, mail him ! (you positive you still have his email address/a working addy?) Someone needs to get the ball rolling, so to speak. Perfect excuse to do it, Christmas and New Years being around the corner. PERFECT! However you write it though, try to make sure it doesn't just appear to be one of those "canned emails" that people send out to everyone in their address book.....make sure it's personalized so he KNOWS it was sent specifically, and only, to him. :-)

 

Then let us know how it goes! This is sort of exciting, do you think?

[Debster]

And ask yourself: what do you really want to happen?

That might help you find the answer.

 

Sometimes it's nice to return to an ex when lonely, but sometimes returning to the scene of the crime can do more harm than good.

 

I'd do some soul searching to discover what's best for you.

[MichelleyBelly]

I think you should totally go for it, for his comment on I was too young at the time is sooooo true sometimes. I am in the same delema cept I was the one that dumped my ex. I had to I needed independence and being alone for a while... A long while. Not many days went by where I wouldnt think of my ex and now I want him back. The problem is he is involved and has been for quite sometime. If you truely love this boy, I think its ur duty to start talking to him again. But DONT tell him how you feel right away. Make sure you guys are good together cause you may both have changed somewhat.

[Tigerlily]

Thanks to you all for helping me out. Your advice is much appreciated.

 

I have, however, decided AGAINST contacting him. As much as I will always care about him deeply, I do not want to go backwards. I also think I only considered it because I felt guilty for not saying hello those few times I've seen him. After much deliberating in the last few days, I think it's best to leave the past in the past. We got along famously and I wouldn't want that to confuse things in the future. Besides, if one of us felt we were developing feelings again and the other didn't reciprocate, that would suck. Why put a person through that?

 

Not to mention, I don't think it would be right of me to all of a sudden appear in the picture again when he has a girlfriend. That wouldn't be fair on her. I know I would be a little awkward if the same thing happened to me, especially if they guy I was with and his ex got along fantastically once upon a time.

 

Thanks again guys. If I see him again in the future, a quick hello should do it. We've come a long way since we split up. My gut says to keep it that way so I will listen to my inner voice!

 

Happy New Year to all.