When I left.

[Dookie_Dont]

I burned most of the bridges I had left standing when I left home for no reason. I moved away to really just get away because I honestly felt like I had nobody to rely on. I don't know if I'm just scared anymore, or what.

 

I used to have alot of friends and people used to enjoy my company, and thats all gone now. Basically I've isolated myself for so long now, that I'm practically a recluse. I read books, and enjoy music - apart form working a night shift job, which furthers the isolation!

 

It scares me, because I miss so much but I know I'll never be able to attain it - so many old friends try to get in contact with me all the time. But I avoid them, I feel as if I will be used its very painful. I miss them, but don't want to be around them anymore.

 

Some are encouraging, some aren't, but even the best of them I left. And now in the aftermath I'm sitting thinking about what led me here. I had a few problems with some people and I think that those breaks in trust pushed me over the edge. And so now its been a year and my life has totally changed.

 

So in losing my friends, and moving away from family and everything I've ever known to a dark isolation of success and hardwork. Not major profit in money, but for somebody my age to do what I've done is just admirable from what I can tell when people ask about me.

 

So is leaving home and ditching your life and stuck sitting alone for a long time part of everybodies life eventually? Is it just a growing time? I'm thinking it is and I have no regrets because its pushed me this far.

 

My determination is strong - but I lack the companionship and friendship that would complete my strives.

 

I post this here because I am infact - alone with no friends now. Anybody ever done this? Or am I just anti social or even worse now?

[Dookie_Dont]

Partly I don't remember writing this - but still I need help. Anybodys experience, anything.